Schadenfreude for Spieth?


One of the first German words I learnt was schadenfreude. At least I think it’s german. Ich weiss nicht, tut mir leid.

It means that we are happy over someone else’s misfortune. For instance, the BMW that just cut into my lane this morning and immediately ends up in a horrific crash…but of course he escapes and his entire car bursts into flames. Man, that feels good. Or the car that parked in two parking lots suddenly randomly bursts into flames.

Or take Tiger – after years of dominance and arrogance, suddenly to be reduced to a lousy hacker that cannot chip – tell you what, a lot of people had that schadenfreude feeling.

But Spieth?

I saw his trainwreck in Augusta back nine. It’s similar to the one that Rory endured in 2011. Unlike Spieth, Rory was already struggling on the front nine before exploding to a back nine 43 and a final score of 80. That’s like us hackers scoring 110 on the final day.

Jordan? No one saw it coming on the front nine. He was at one time -7 and 4 under for his round. After he reeled off 3 birdies in a row including an extremely difficult one on the 9th, most people just thought, just give him the damn jacket.

Then came the implosion.

10 was a bad drive, 11 was a bad putt where he missed a 4 footer after an incredible 3rd shot. And then, came the 12th. Amen corner, at least 11 and 12 are.

Remarkably, his total strokes on 10,11 and 12th is exactly the same as Rory’s in 2011. Rory scored 7-5-5 and Jordan scored 5-5-7. Unfortunately his meltdown of 7 came on the par 3, so he played it 6 over as opposed to Rory’s 5 over. So it’s worse.

But while Rory was shaking his head, throwing his putter, untucking his shirt and looking like he had the worst job on earth collecting shit; Jordan did not throw his club once, did not slam his club into the ground, did not slam his club into his bag, and when he chunked his second into the water on the 12th – he just calmly ask for another ball. When he putted out for a 7, he just walked off, disappointed obviously but all the while as if he was just 1 down on a 15-5-5 betting game instead of the bloody Masters at bloody Augusta.

Its impossible to not like Jordan Spieth. Welcome to the world of sports, where you can be a good guy and also the best in the world. The world of Michael Jordan thrash talking is replaced by the mild mannered Stephen Curry – the world of Tiger Woods replaced by Jordan Spieth, who has a little sister with Autism and started a foundation for special children’s needs.

When you have him say, “Being Ellie’s brother humbles me every day of my life.”, you know his guy is honest-to-God a great guy and there is no way anybody on this God given earth can have a bad thought about him. Check out this clip on him and slowly clap your hands.

So What Happened to Rory?

Rory McIlroy of Northern Ireland watches his tee shot on the second tee during the second round of the Memorial Tournament at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio June 1, 2012. REUTERS/John Sommers II

So while everyone is speculating why is Tiger failing so spectacularly on the traditional moving days of his tournament, whatever our dear hacker patron, Mr Rory McIlroy? Missing 3 cuts in the row might be ok for David Duval, but for someone considered as World number 2, and up until recently world number 1, it is pretty much a disaster.

So let’s dissect, what happened to Rory McIlroy?

If you look at history, his crapness is directly related to his position as a top rank golfer. He simply can’t get it done as a number 1 golfer.

March 4 2012, McIlroy became world’s number 1. He was there for 2 weeks, approximately, 0.7% of Tiger Woods’ tenure. He played ok for his first and last tournament in his first tenure as number 1, a 3rd place at WGC Cadillac. Then he lost it on March 18. He regained it on April 15, even though he played like crap in Augusta. He lasted just 2 weeks again till April 28. His achievement as world number 1: ZERO. He didn’t do anything.

So he lost his world number one on April 29, but regained it back on May 6. Immediately he played like a punk missing The Players Champs cut. As world number 1, he shot an embarassing 74-79 to miss the BMW cut. He lost it again on May 26th, this time seemingly for good, as he bombed on the Memorial, tied for 87, and missing the third consecutive cut.

Rory’s total weeks as world number 1 = 7. Against Tiger’s 623. That is 1.12%.

Why are we talking about the apparent heir to Tiger then? It’s obvious he plays like crap when there are expectations placed on him! Just like a hacker!

Ah, how we love Rory.

The Greatest Hacker

We love it when Pros self-destruct.

But John Daly hasn’t been a pro for a long time, and it’s certainly getting to be a norm where he starts brain farting and blasting balls after balls into the lake.

What a character. But is he good for the game?

And I don’t know why there is no “John Daly Meltdown Wiki” up yet!