Failing at Kota Permai

We haven’t played Kota Permai for a very, very long time. So much so that I was surprised at the new refurbished front and locker rooms, which has been done quite a long while ago. To my memory, Kota Permai has been reasonably a good scoring course, except for a few holes that I totally detests, especially those with hazard on the left, which for some reason, a lot of holes have this.

Hole 1: This is a broad and friendly par 5 to start the day with, which I promptly pulled my tee shot to the left, but it wasn’t that bad. This pulled drive will be the flavour of today – after driving so well for the past game, I thought I had my drives figured out. Well, not. Apparently. From the left trees, I carve a low punch to the rough around 150m from the pin. My 9 iron was just slightly short to the fringe and I opted to putt onto the hollow-tined greens. Bad first putt, and then two putt to start with a bogey. (+1)

Hole 2: This is a difficult hole for me, made so by the large body of water lining the left side, skinny fairways, no bailout on the right and trees in front of my tee box that prevents me from drawing in. I did hit the tree with my tee shot (again) but miraculously escaped but plopped very short distance. Faced with a 160m or so to the green guarded by water, my 7 iron failed to turn in and plopped into the water. Dropped for 4th, on the green, two putt for double. (+3)

Hole 3: A fairly difficult hole, which I hit a drive right that never drew back. Under the tree, I had to punch a five iron out to trees on the left. A poor 60 degree overshot the green for my third. Chip back wasn’t great and two putted for a really ugly double bogey (+5).

Hole 4: A long par 3 (all par 3s in Kota Permai are long), which a 7 iron almost reached, but dropped into the greenside bunker. A routine out and two-putt for bogey. (+6)

Hole 5: This should just be an easy drive and easy iron into an accessible green. But the three of us literally hit it at the same place in the fairway left bunker. Same, that we had to mark our balls because they were inches away from each other. With a high lip, there was no chance to go for green, so it was out to 100m, a sand wedge in and two putt for bogey (+7)

Hole 6: Finally, a good shot into a long par 3. Five iron right to the middle with a bit of draw, and two putted for routine par! (+7)

Hole 7: This isn’t a terribly difficult par 5 but it’s made worse if you pull your drive. Which  of course, I did. Hit a tree on my second, my third out to around 120m. Fourth with a PW to the edge of the green. Fifth on, not a good putt and two putted (missing a three footer) for a really, really disgusting double. (+9)

Hole 8: The toughest hole on the course due to its length. Pulled another drive into the bunker. Again, the high lip makes it impossible to do anything but to just plop it out. My third pitching wedge from 120 was so pulled it entered into the greenside bunker. From there, out for 4 on and two putt for ANOTHER DOUBLE BOGEY (+11)

Hole 9: At this point, I knew the drive was struggling. To abbreviate the follow through helped me keep it straighter, but it also caused my drive to be very short. In this hole, it was fairway hit but a massive 150m away to a very uphill green with back pin. With a 6-iron, I finally hit one of those shots that makes you want to play golf forever. It started right, slightly drawing into the green that slopes remarkably into a valley on the left. Even landing on the front, it almost rolled off. Pin high, uphill putt, around 10 feet. Birdie time? Nope. Missed it slightly left, but at least ended the 9 on a high. (+11)

As we make the turn, my scorecard has 4 double bogeys against two pars, which wasn’t great. Except for the 2nd, all the doubles came from bad drives, which should be avoidable, but you know, it’s part of my game (or lack thereof).

Hole 10: This should be a visually appealing hole for me (one of the rare ones) as we look to shape this right to left. However I started all wrongly too far left and pulled deep into the woods. So deep that it crawled back out the adjacent hole fairway. A punched five iron actually was very good to around 10m from the green. This should technically be a routine chip but I fluffed it! Second chip got onboard and bogeyed but that fluff chip was so unexpected, after a series of very good chips in previous game. (+12)

Hole 11: This is to me the easiest hole, as all the trouble is right (which is hardly existent for me). A slightly pulled shot puts me around 90m from the green on the left on the fairway. A good sand wedge ended up pin high on the left which trickled down to around 6 feet from the cup. Birdie? YES, finally. (+11)

Hole 12: I don’t know how or why Hole 12 is Index 14. It’s notoriously difficult to hit the green because the elevated tee shot is so daunting. OB on right and jungle on left. I pulled again my drive and once more, like Hole 10, faced a tiny hole in the trees to hit out of. Managed to sneak it back to the fairway but almost 200m away to an extreme uphill green. My 5 wood left me around 50m. I was still ok to this point, because a 4 on will put me in position for a bogey. I didn’t hit a terrible shot, but the 60 degree just ballooned high, landed on the green and rolled back into the left “Valley of Death”, an enclave where a majority of the people hit from, judging by the divots existing there. I skulled my 5th chip over to the bunker, buried at the slope. Duffed my 6th, still in bunker. 7th out and holed for 8th. Horrible hole. Especially right after that birdie. (+14)

Hole 13: Finally striped a great tee shot and was left with around 120m to an uphill green. I opted for a 9-iron in, but did not hit a particulary good one. It drew too much and landed left, in a mini enclave, not as bad as Hole 12. With Hole 12 fiasco still fresh, I opted to put upwards from this valley though. It wasn’t a great result but still left me around 10 feet for par. Missed, settled for bogey (+15)

Hole 14: Love this little par 3. It’s the only par 3 on the course that you can hit with a wedge. Around 130 downhill, it was really between a muscled gap or an easy pitching. I don’t have any in between clubs. I chose the muscled gap. Because I like muscling things instead of controlling. The gap wedge hit perfect, landed just past the front bunkers but for some stupid reason didn’t release to the green. It was still an easy lag putt, and a par (+15)

Hole 15: Hate this (and the next) hole. Because water left. Index 2 and 6 side by side. These are named the Hateful Twins. I had to start my drive way right, and challenge the trees due to my retarded shot shape. Remember Hole 2 where I escaped a right block with a drive through the trees? The course takes back. Same shot, but instead now clips a branch and falls right down, before the ladies tee. A five iron sets me up to where everyone else is. Another five iron found me at the front rough of the green. A reasonable chip got me to around 5 feet and a double bogey. (+17)

Hole 16: The second of the Hateful Twins. Was switching back and forth between a five iron and the driver and just decided to heck it with the driver. It was a good choice, because, without any trees near the teebox, I managed to stripe this right to left with the best drive of the day. It left me around 100m and a sand wedge to the green. It was slightly pulled but no problem navigating for a par (+17). Not bad!

Hole 17: LOOOONG Par 3. My 5 iron was pulled slightly and ended up in the backside of the green. Not an easy shot. My second shot couldn’t clear the lip (inches away) and trickled back into the bunker, my third duffed and again rolled back into the bunker, and only 4th came out. Two putts and left with a bad tasting triple bogey (+20)

Hole 18: Feeling the pain, I pulled my final drive of the day. From the left rough, a tragic 7 iron did not draw and left me deep rough on the right. I couldn’t get any purchase on it, and my fourth shot from 90m with a gap was also duffed into the greenside bunker. Ironically, I used my gap and hit the best bunker shot of the day. a perfect shot clearing two bunkers and slipping into the green around 10 feet below the hole. I couldn’t end it with a bogey save though and settled for a double. (+22). I played +5 over my last two holes, which just about sums up my misadventures at Kota Permai.

So there you go. Plenty of doubles, plenty of triple and let’s see: hitting out of 6 different bunkers today. Not a great date with Sandy.

Challenging Tropicana and an Interesting Hazard Drop

We haven’t played in Tropicana for some time, and from memory, it seems a reasonably easy course for us. After coming out of a sub-90 round in Palm and great driving, I was reasonable optimistic about this round.

Just a note, the fairways in Tropicana weren’t in their usual good conditions. Rain and maybe an iffy maintenance schedule has made it a bit soggy and damp – not terrible, but still, no the pristine fairways we are used to seeing on this course. The greens as well is being sanded, so you expect bumpy, unpredictable putts. But this is generally Ramadan Conditions – courses are taking this low traffic weeks to fix up their courses.

Hole 1: We started out in East Two (cross over to West Three). It’s a reasonable easy par 4, which I started badly pushing my drive right. Under trees, I only managed to chop a poor shot out. Then another poor chop to around 50m, and then a 60 degree in. Two putt for a double bogey to start. Ominous. (+2)

Hole 2: Beautiful par 4 with a downhill drive. Pushed again to the right! This time, I hit a reasonably good 6 iron to keep it under the trees but zipped over the green into the rough, slope behind. Chip! And a very poor one. It didn’t even reach the green. A putt to get on and 2 putts again to start double-double. (+4)

Hole 3: This time, striped a good one down the right side over the fairway bunker. With a pitching wedge, I managed to hit a stupid shot and missed the top tier of the green, leaving me a horribly long putt. Which I three putted. Again. Bogey. (+5)

Hole 4: Already fuming after the previous hole, this was the supposedly the easiest hole, a Par 3 that we ALWAYS hit short for some twillight zone reason. It states 125 from our tee, but everytime my pitching wedge is short. And yes, it was short again, leaving me a tricky turning putt from the fringe. First putt wasn’t great but my par putt brushed the hole, another missed par for bogey. Two 3 putts in a row. DAMNIT! (+6)

Hole 5: Par 5, played WAY back championship tees. I hit a pulled drive, but no harm. Second shot was a crap, stupid duffed 6-iron, leaving me a huge 220m away for my third. My 5 wood brought me to around 30m, and my 60 degree went over the flag, with a tricky 30 footer downhill putt. Which I probably will miss. Except, this time, I didn’t. It snaked down and horse-shoed into the hole for a saved PAR! (+6)

Hole 6: Feeling good, I promptly pushed my drive right again. Thankfully, found it but was way far away from the green on an index hole. A five wood brought me around 30m, a nonchalant chip left me too much to do and bogeyed. (+7)

Hole 7:This was BLASTED. The drive was long and found me around 140m from the green. I would usually smoke a 9 iron in but the flag was set right the front next to the pond, and I chickened out and used an 8-iron. Promptly flew over the flag to the top tier, leaving me an absolute horror putt to come down. 3 Putt bogey? OK, deserved that. I should have challenged the damn pin. (+8)

Hole 8: Long par 3. An iffy par 5 left me needing a chip onto the green. It’s an easy chip from the rough, but I duffed it again, and had to putt my 3rd on. Two putted again for a horrible double bogey. (+10) So I have duffed two of my chips, leaving me a double on each of these holes. Looks like bad habits coming back.

Hole 9: Par 5, which usually should be easy, but I pushed my drive way right to the other fairway (hole 1). A good recovery with a five wood actually found me on the rough at around 100m. I should hit the green with my eyes closed. Instead I missed it by duffing my sand wedge, skipped the bunker and the ball rested at an impossible angel, where I had to stand INSIDE the bunker and hit the ball at was at nearly my stomach height. It did find the green finally and two putted for another bogey. (+11)

A +11 isn’t great for what is supposed to be an easier course. But it was definitely due to just bad overall decisions and iffy chipping. 3 putts are also killing me.

Hole 10: Cross over, new 9, hopefully new game. Par 4, hit it well, almost into the fairway bunker on the right. The next shot was a straight 9 iron without any draw, which left me a chip away from the green. So I chipped and it zipped past the hole to around 10 feet. 2 putt bogey. (+12)

Hole 11: Finally, a hole that is played WELL. I cut this dogleg so much with a good drive that I was only around 100m away to a downhill green. I should have used my 60-degree but opted for my sand wedge instead. It shot over to around 20 feet from the hole. Two putted for a good par. Only my second one! (+12)

Hole 12: Par 3, sucker pin on the left next to the water. I drew a good six iron in, landed to the front and a very long putt. I lagged to around 6 feet or so and managed to finally sink it for par. (+12)

Hole 13: Just when you think everything is going well, I blocked my 6 iron next hole, hit the cart path and bounched happily to OB. Reloaded, and a 9-iron to the green for 4 on. Two putted for double. (+14)

Hole 14: This is an index 1 par 4 which I just wasted. I hit a good drive, but left with around 180 to the green, I hit a great 7-wood that was literally about 10 inches away from entering into the green. Instead from the front to the back pin, I three putted for an absolutely stupid bogey. (+15)

Hole 15: This is a bit contentious. I hooked my ball a bit and thought it was going into the water. It hit a palm tree and dropped into the flower bed lining the edge of the water. Now, flower beds are free drops in Tropicana (according to caddy, I guess). But unfortunately about 10 feet away from where I was was a red stake. And because there was a flowerbed, we couldn’t see markings of hazard, and the other red stake was far away. I wasn’t in between the red stakes, I thought. But if you draw an imaginary STRAIGHT line, my ball was probably resting on the imaginary line. However, the water edge wasn’t straight. So If you draw an imaginary line FOLLOWING the water edge, my ball wasn’t in the hazard. Or at least, depending on how thick this imaginary line is. So how? Hell I don’t know. We don’t have a rules official. The flower bed is a free drop. But was I in the hazard, based on the hazard line rule? Was there a line in the first place? None because of the flower bed. Usually we should have a line drawn, but in this case, there was none because I guess Tropicana loves its flowerbeds.

I would generally think this is fine and free drop, but because we were playing for money $$, I think it’s a little too liberal to just not penalise myself, so I had to interpret it as such: if in doubt, be conservative and penalise. Besides, my partners were all on the green and I didn’t want to call them back on a ruling. So I did penalise myself. I dropped for three, bashed my 8 iron near the green. Hit an ok chip over bunker to 4-on and two putted for double bogey. (+17)

Hole 16: Reachable par 5 and I hit a solid drive, followed with a good 5 wood, if a little pulled left. Now, I was around 30m away from the green, an easy 60 degree should do it. Instead I blasted it over to the top tier and with a fast roll down to the pin, I conjured an amazingly stupid 3 putt for bogey.  (+18)

Hole 17: Its so frustrating. You know you aren’t playing that badly but the scores are not reflecting it. So on a downhill par 3, I finally hit a great pitching in, almost slam dunked into the hole an rolled to around 10 feet away. It was now an extreme right to left slider, downhill. Not an easy one, but one that I somehow miraculously managed to navigate, fist pump – boom, a birdie. (+17)

Hole 18: All the adrenaline from the last hole gave me a lousy drive. Blocked on the left, my 5 wood almost landed into the water. Third shot 6-iron from the water edge went into the greenside bunker. Out was poor and from the front of the green, three-putted my final green for a double bogey. (+19)

Overall, the strange thing is that it wasn’t as if I played badly. Fine, the first two holes put me in a hole already, but again, I had 6 three putts. SIX! And I had a few bad chips that didn’t do me any favors. The putts is something I need to improve, 100%. If I can half my three putts to 2 or 3 per round, i gain 3 – 4 strokes, that means moving me to a 12 – 13 handicapper as opposed to the 15 – 16 I am playing now. The chips – people may look and say I am chipping like a tapir, but really, I’m happy with it. You must understand where I was a few weeks ago. I was completely UNABLE to chip. UNABLE. So now, I need to chip more during the game, get into the groove of chipping during play and I will be fine. Not worried about it. Worried about my putting.

As for the hole 15 rule, the closest I can get to is from here: http://www.barryrhodes.com/2013/05/water-hazard-margins.html.

Part of the Definition of Lateral Water Hazard states: When the margin of a lateral water hazard is defined by stakes, the stakes are inside the lateral water hazard, and the margin of the hazard is defined by the nearest outside points of the stakes at ground level.

This is a very interesting situation. Because where my ball landed, it was clearly UNCLEAR whether my ball was in the hazard or not. It was NOT PLAYABLE, correct, but because it was in a flower bed which is an immovable obstruction (according to caddy, and I did not check the scorecard). So imagine if the flower bed wasn’t there, where would the line be? The distance between the red stakes were far because of this flowerbed between them, so there was no clear line markings for hazard, neither was it easy to draw an imaginary line. So unfortunately, because it was really a 50-50 matter, I had to declare it on the conservative interpretation and declared  penalty drop. Incidentally, if I had bogeyed that hole instead of double bogey, my partnership would have won the hole, and won the game. Instead we lost. So that one stroke cost me my lunch…but I think it was the right thing to do, and like life, golf should be done in the most ethical way possible.

Palm Garden – First game in Malaysia Baru!

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past week, you would know that we have now entered into a new era in our nation:- “Malaysia Baru”, or New Malaysia (which is ironically now run by the oldest prime minister in the world, and has surrounded himself with a Jedi Council with a collective age of 1000 years old). This has never and will never be a political blog in any way, so let’s just say this simply: To Pakatan Harapan – now that you are no longer the opposition, we hope you can run the country well and not mess up. To the outgoing Barisan Nasional – trust was lost over many years – but we believe there are many good people within the party, unfortunately for you, this time around, people voted for the party (not yours), and not the candidates. Pick yourself up and be the strong opposition and check and balance that this country needs. To the rakyat – let’s move on, and if possible, stop/minimise the vitrolic messages/gloating/blaming on social media to any individual or party and let time runs its course – this fledgling government and opposition need time to settle into their new roles, so let’s stop the bickering and play some bloody golf.

So we are back in Palm Garden, the difficult hunting ground for me, and some hopeless golf played here over the last few rounds. Hopefully my golf will change now, just like our country.

Hole 10. We started on the back nine and we had A LOT OF FLIGHTS today. Behind us were three flights, so six buggies, twelve people, twenty four pair of eyes looking at our tee shot. I striped the second best tee shot of the day on my first swing. It sailed so far, I could reach the green with my 5 wood second shot. Unfortunately, my 5 wood flared right, and ended up the dreaded shot behind the greenside bunker, about 20 meters from the flag. Flop, and right into the bunker. Fourth shot out to the fringe, and buried in a bad lie, poor poor putt (I should have chipped but chickened out) which hardly moved onto the green, and a two putt double bogey to start the day after an amazing drive. Oh boy. (+2)

Hole 11: Hit a good drive but drew a bit and landed on a downslope, sideways lie, 100m from the uphill green. I skulled my second shot sandwedge into the water – just straight duff due to the lie. Fourth shot on, and missed the 12 footer for bogey. Settle for double. (+4)

Hole 12: So early and I need to steady the ship a bit, which did not occur. I hit a poor 48 degree (its the club between my gap and my pitching, and hardly used), landed in the front bunker, came out nicely but on an extremely undulating green, two putted to escape with a bogey. (+5)

Hole 13: The Hateful Par 5. I hate this because I can never survive it. This time a reasonable drive to the left and a hooked eight iron left me with a difficult shot behind a tree. This time, I managed to get my club to it and it flopped near the green. Time to CHIP! And I did make a good contact chip for my fourth but it fizzed by the hole to around 8 feet over. Testy putt for par. Missed, settle bogey. Hey at least it was a reasonable chip and at least a bogey on this hole finally! (+6)

Hole 14: Tough par 3. But they moved forward the tee box to the whites so I was going in with a 9-iron for around 150+ meters. I over drew it and it landed on the left, near the fence but still have room for my chip. I chipped very well, to within 5 feet or so but just couldn’t covert the par. Bogey (+7)

Hole 15: Another par 5. This one has water on the right, so after a good drive in the middle of the fairway, I conjured a hopeless 5 wood which hooked horribly. I am now under a tree with nowhere. 3rd shot punch out, 4th shot from 100m zeroed in to the green and I had about 15 feet to save par. AND……I didn’t. Bogey (+8)

Hole 16: This is a short par 4 made slightly longer with the tees moved to the back. I usually hook this one because we think we can reach the green in one (and we never do) – but this time, without forcing, managed to land a nice 90 meters away, a simple sand wedge to around 20 feet, and two putt for my first par. (+8)

Hole 17: Another par 3, this time the one over water. Landed 8-iron on the fringe but with a terrible long putt over an undulating green. 3 putt time, which I duly obliged, for bogey. (+9)

Hole 18: Probably my first bad drive which i flared right, but caught a lucky bounce and was in the rough, around 110m from the green. It’s not an easy green (It’s an index 4 hole after all), and between a 9 iron and a pitching, I opted for the latter, and launched my second best pitching wedge of the day to around 15 feet on the fringe, back pin. I putted badly (should have chipped), but managed to sink in the 10 footer for par. (+9)

+9 at the turn is not bad for this course. The greens are terribly difficult, but so far, one 3 putt is pretty good and my drives were switched on, and my iron play and chipping was ok. Might be the time to break the 90.

Hole 1: Now, this was the best drive of the day. Cut the dogleg right, straight perfect drive, boring trajectory (not the over-spun, high draw I always hit), that just shot off the face of the club. The result? 30m from the green after cutting the dogleg completely. The consequence? A retarded flop/chip that was in between and no clue how to execute and finally landed short of the green. ARG! Chip wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great, it rolled around 10 feet past the cup and I missed the putt back. Crazy how two great drives (Hole 1, Hole 10) resulted in +3 over 2 holes. (+10)

Hole 2: This is technically a very easy par 3 to a green that is probably the flattest in the entire course. However, I skulled my sand wedge to the back, chipped on and two putted for a stupid bogey. (+11)

Hole 3: The long par 4 with trouble left. This time, popped my drive a bit and had around 130m to an uphill green. I should have opted for a 9-iron but instead my pitching was short and had a horribly long putt on an undulating green. Three putt? Yes, of course, for bogey. (+12)

Hole 4: Everyone’s favourite par 5 because it forces almost everyone to lay up. My drive was slightly pulled and unfortunately landed in the bunker on the left. My out was bad, 9-iron barely rolling past the 150m marker. At around 140m to a downhill green, it was either a controlled 9-iron or a muscled pitching wedge. The pin was a sucker pin right at the front, guarded by water all around. I hit the best pitching wedge of the day – starting right straight at the water and drawing it slightly in and landed just at the side of the green around a meter away from the water. From there, the undulation took it to 5 feet past the side of the hole, pin high. Doesn’t matter if the birdie can’t be caught, and thankfully (and finally, on this course) – I did sink it in. (+11)

Hole 5: The euphoria of the previous hole continued with a good drive, a layup of eight iron to 100m, and a perfect gap wedge to around 15 feet of the hole. I thought two birdies in a row would be cool so I blasted my putt way past and just stupidly missed my comeback for par. Three PUTT for bogey! (+12)

Hole 6: The long par 4. Good drive, and left with a 6-iron, which I promptly duffed to around 100m. Then a gap wedge to around 15 feet again, missed the par and settled for bogey. (+13)

Hole 7: Completely screwed up my 7-wood off the tee (second time in a row from last round), hooking it way left. This time, though, I managed to flop my wedge around 10 feet from the green, and chipped a great chip to inches from the hole. Chipping rocks! (+14)

Hole 8: This hole usually is my favourite but today they set up the tee box to the right – meaning, with my draw/hook, I had to stand outside the teebox with my ball teed up right at the edge of the left boundary. With this kind of retarded setup, I boomeranged my ball right to left and into bunker. From there, a poor out, left with a wedge which I chunked to around 10 feet. As in the last hole, hit a great chip to about 5 feet, and saved bogey again. Chipping really rocks! (+15)

Hole 9: Final hole tee box was similar to Hole 8, but this time my hook wasn’t so bad. And I got lucky. Bounced on the cart path and like Hole 18, landed at the side of the cart path about 80m from the green. My 60 degree however was poor and it landed only at the front of the green with a difficuly uphill putt. I hate to end the day with a three putt bogey, but unfortunately, I did. My first putt wasn’t great but my second putt from around 8 feet made a horseshoe around the hole. Another 3 putt on these dastardly difficult greens! (+16)

4 three putts in a round isn’t great but no complaints. The greens are really very difficult to putt. Otherwise, it was a good a round as I can hope for, with my chipping seemingly back in order and my drives were excellent. Iron play was off and on but the putter needs a bit of work. Malaysia Baru = Golf Baru!

KRPM Mini Tourney

We had a mini tournament of 16 people at Rahman Putra today. And boy, did I not do too well. The last outing wasn’t so bad, as I shot sub-90, but this time around the downpour the night before made for conditions that were not so ideal. Muddy, soft ground, hard bunkers = high scores.

Hole 1: Just like last time, pulled the tee shot to the left over the cartpath. Second shot had to punch out (not so good), and a 60 degree pitch (good one!) set me up for a 15 footer for par, which I expectedly missed (+1)

Hole 2. The very tough par 3. I actually hit a great 6 iron that didn’t draw enough. It landed on the fringe of the green on the right, hung there for a second then decide to roll into the damn bunker. In the bunker, the ball was between rake marks, I hit it poorly. Bunker was too hard and I hit it clean out to the other side, beyond the other bunker. 3rd shot, flop failed right into the other bunker. 4th shot out. Two putts for triple! (+4)

Hole 3. Par 5. Hit a dead straight drive into the woods. Manage to escape with a good 6 iron to around 120m, perfect distance. I used a gap wedge to hit to a downhill green which I hit smack in the middle but it annoyingly rolled off over. Note: don’t use shi*ty golf balls. My first attempt at a bump and run was ok – it trickled onto the green but not near enough for par. Bogey. (+5)

Hole 4. Pushed my drive way right but luckily missed the next hole’s pond. I duffed by pitching wedge a bit and had to chip on. Good chip, had around 10 feet for par, which I missed. Bogey (+6)

Hole 5. Par 3 with an 8 iron was short, so another chip. This time, not a solid one, way short, and 2 putt for bogey (+7)

Hole 6. Hooked this one to the left and managed to punch out. Now, with around 90 to the downhill green, I hit my 60 degree short. I realised much later on cow grass, I tend to dig more and I don’t get the distance I usually get compared to other fairways in the RHB courses (Mines, Trops, Glenmarie etc). I was about a few yards from the green. Usually I opt to putt but since I was testing my chip, I thought I can hit a good one. Not. Ball was duffed, didn’t even make the green. 2 Putted for double (+9)

Hole 7. Hooked again, this time another punch out. With around 100m to go, I once again opted for my 60 degree. I need to learn – when rain, don’t use the 60 degree! Chunked my third, chunked my fourth into the bunker, finally out with my fifth (barely), six on with a putt and 7 in. Triple. Once more due to my inability to adjust to wet conditions (+12)

Hole 8. Tough one. I drove pretty well actually.With a five iron second shot, I reached around a few yards of the green. Chipped again and yes, its ok but I still had around 15 feet for par on a very tough green. Two putted for bogey. (+13)

Hole 9. Really a very stupid hole for me. I played my first two shots perfect. Great 5-wood to the edge of the lake, a six iron to set me up around 110m from the hole. I semi chunked my pitching wedge into the greenside bunker. Like Hole 2, I couldn’t get enough sand due to it being so hard and ended up hitting the ball clean to the very end of the green. Three Putted for double bogey (+15)

Wow. That’s a very high score. But it was really due to my brain farts more than the condition of the course.

Hole 10. Doesn’t start great as my drive found the right fairway bunker. My shot out was poor and I had around 160 to go to a downhill green. I stuffed an 8-iron to around 20 feet of the hole (it actually hit the front of the green but kept rolling and rolling). Two putt for par. (+15)

Hole 11. Pulled my 5-wood (again!) but hit a reasonable 5-iron that passed the hazard. I had to do a chip again, and not bad, I had around 10 feet to save par which I missed (+16)

Hole 12. Uphill par 3. Once more, a good six iron set me up for an easy chip, which I did not do it easily. My ball scampered to around 15 feet over the hill and I was luckly to escape with a bogey. (+17)

Hole 13. A relatively easy hole which I pulled my drive but luckily hit a tree on the left. I crafted a gap wedge through a gap between the trees and landed about 10 feet above the hole for my reasonable birdie look. I missed it and par. (+17)

Hole 14. A good draw drive to the center of the fairway but I hit a very poor 9 iron which landed on the left, around 10 m left to the green. I executed a perfect chip for my third shot that landed and rolled to about 5 feet from the hole. Saved par! (+17)

Hole 15. Really sort sighted this one. It was playing at the whites, so I thought I can muscle in a gap wedge in there. Nope. It did cross the hazard, but it landed, jumped backwards and rolled into the water. Dropped, hit on the green and had around 15 footer downhil which I missed for bogey. Double bogey (+18)

Hole 16. The start of the 3 toughest holes in the course.I hung my drive too far right, and my second shot clipped the trees and into the water (again!). Hit my 4th on, two putted for double. (+20)

Hole 17. HOOKED! Luckily there was an opening which I punched out. So I was around 140m away to an uphill green and this should be money for me. Instead I shanked the hell out of my 9 iron to the righ. I was lucky it was still alive. I pitched pretty ok for my fourth, two putted for double (+22)

Hole 18. Perfect drvie – the first one of the day!My 7 wood crossed the lake and set me up around 100m to an uphill green. Gap wedge stuffed to around 15 feet but it was an extremely tricky putt which I had to aim 90 degrees from the hole, up the slope and down again. Three putted for my last hole again for a bogey! (+23)

Conclusion: My other mates were not having a great time also. The ground was muddy and soggy, but the sun was roasting us alive under its heat. Humidity was at its worst and even my climalite shirt was completely soaked. It was really the worst weather for golf – extreme hot weather right after a thunderstorm.

I ended up more or less at the middle of the pack. Given the conditions, it wasn’t the worse I have played. Plenty of positives, especially the chipping continues to improve as I get more confident to bring the stroke into the course.

Struggles on Palm Garden

You have heard of horses for courses.

Its true in many sense for golf – some golf courses are just right for the eye – like Mines – everytime I play there, I feel like I can score a pretty good score. Generally when the course is set up to punish slicers I am happy as my ball almost never goes left to right. Some courses are nightmares to hookers like me – Rahman Hills is an example, where every problem is on the left. Seri Selangor, without a doubt.

But one course that I really can’t wrap my head around is IOI Palm Garden. From the outset you would think its a course you can have for breakfast. Pristine fairway, great greens, not so long, attackable in almost every sense – the index holes are not tough – but the craziness of it all is – WHY CAN’T I BLOODY SCORE IN THIS COURSE?

Hole 1: I started actually quite well. My drive missed the fairway bunker by a few feet and from 110m, I stuck my gap wedge to around 15 feet, downhill putt. The putt was very fast and I just overpowered it and missed the come-back. 3 -putt to start but ok, not too bad. (+1).

Hole 2: The easy par 3, but sometimes I tend to hit short. Not this time, I hit a good sandwedge in but again, it was over the hole around 20 plus feet. This time, two putt par. (+1).

Hole 3: Of all times to hook it, I hooked it. It hit the cartpath on the left and unluckily went out of bounds. Reloaded and found the left rough, and my 9 iron approach was good, but right of the green. I tried my hand in chipping for the first time – and very well done. It was perfect and rolled to around 2 feet and I managed to double bogey. GREAT CHIP! (+3)

Hole 4: The classic par 5. Hit an OK drive, but it drew a bit to the left but no harm done. My second shot basically took me to the perfect spot. Around 80 meters away from the so-called island green. I don’t think I would screw this up. Oh Wait. I did. I skulled my 60 degree STUPIDLY and it basically buried itself into the green bunker’s slope. I fluffed my bunker shot poorly (its an impossible lie anyhow) and it zipped into the water. Dropped for six, and actually chipped very well close and double bogeyed (+5)

Hole 5: Back to back par 5. Hit a pure drive that almost reached the fairway bunker on the right. A routine regulation on and had a 15 footer for birdie which I barely missed. Par. (+5)

Hole 6. This is the index 1 par 4 which isn’t so Index 1. A nice drive, but with a nine iron in my hand, I conjured up a crap shot that pulled into the left greenside bunker. What a waste! Hit an ok shot out and had a 10 – 12 footer to save par which once more I missed. (+6)

At this point, I felt pretty solid with my game. My chips were spot on, and really, if it wasn’t for that hopeless hook on the 3rd and the bad 60 degree on the par 5 4th, my scores would have been solid. The putting isn’t great though, and I think one of the things about this course is the undulating greens and faster than normal roll.

Hole 7. Just when you think its fine, it comes crashing down. This isn’t an easy par 3 to begin with, but its manageable. But with my 7 wood in hand, I duffed it so badly, it badly trickled 30 meters away, and before the ladies tee box. Shocked, I duffed my second shot as well, and facing a third shot flop shot, I hit a poor 60 degree that didn’t even reach the green. My 4th chip was finally on, very far away, two putted for a shocking (and unexpected) triple bogey. (+9)

Hole 8. Recovering from that was tough, but the last two holes always had good memories for me. I however, pushed my drive so far right this time that I was on the next hole’s rough. Luckily I had an opening which I hit my 60 degree over and onto the green, 8 feet from the hole. Burned the side of the hole with my birdie putt and settled for my par (+9)

Hole 9. A good, good drive set me up slightly on the right. This is a sucker pin to hit because it was set up in the narrow side of the green on the right where you had to hit over the bunker and stop it dead or else it would roll down over the hill. I don’t think I ever hit a better 60 degree before in my life. It lofted just over the bunker and dropped, rolled to the fringe, almost over the green. I had a 10 footer again for a birdie which I once more missed, and settled for par. (+9)

Hole 10. Cross over to the par 5. I hooked this ball to the left and thought I had OB’ed. Played a provision and luckily found my ball hanging on the rough a bit on the left. I hit my second to around 100 meters and facing an uphill, I was switching between my sand and gap. I settled for gap and stuffed it to – again! – around 12 feet of the hole, and an extremely makeable birdie putt. And again, I missed for par. (+9)

Hole 11. I was a little on the roll here. This is a very nice downhill hole, where my driver found me around a 120m away from the uphill green. I always hit short on this, so this time, decided to go long a bit with my pitching wedge. Right choice and it found me with a birdie chance around 10 feet, with a downhill sashay. I thought this would be my chance, but once more, missed the go**amn birdie!! That’s 4 makeable birdies within 12 feet that I have suffered to miss!!! (+9)

Hole 12. Going into the 12th with 4 pars in the row should make me a happy guy but instead, I was pissed not making any birdies of those close approach shots. This par 3 needs to land on the right and it would trickle down to the back of the steep green, where the flag was. I hit –what I thought was a perfect pitching wedge — but instead of catching the hill on the right, it spun back on the false front and slided all the way down to the front of the green – very very far away. I couldn’t recover and three putted for a bogey. (+10)

Hole 13. A very tough par 5 which I never ever scored well. The last time I played on this cursed hole I hit a freaking tree on my third and it rebounded OB. This time, I was so scared of the left water, I hooked my drive to the left. No harm. I hooked my 6-iron again but it is on the fairway around 130m away from the green. Its on the fairway and looks very very good. Like how I screwed up the other par 5, my pitching wedge inexplicably pushed right – as if the bloody water was a magnet for my bloody ball – and splash. I think I played this hole a thousand times and every time I mess it up. Always, my third. I dropped , hit my fifth, found the front of the green, but so totally pissed off, I three putted for triple. Stupid, stupid hole. 13 is the unlucky number and I am (+13) as well.

Hole 14. Tough par 3 to pair with unlucky 13. This time, I managed to avoid the left OB and hung out too far right, into the bunker. Routine out from the bunker (i.e not so good), and two putted for bogey. Its a good score here. (+14)

Hole 15. At this point, the flight in front of us were really killing our buzz. Slow, and hopelessly inadequate in terms of skills, they were forcing us to wait on every shot, and the more I waited, the more pissed I became. I am a very impatient golfer, I admit. My drive here was so poor, it bounded almost into the water fronting my tee box. Luckily the ball was alive a bit on the left, but a long wait and I pulled my 7 wood further left. At this point I was on the other hole’s fairway, around 160 away for my third. Again, a long wait. Duffed my 6 iron into a fairway bunker. Bunker out with my fourth, and still away from the green. Tried to five – on but hit a poor shot that flew over the flag and left me with an extremely long putt over an undulating green. Three putted for triple. (+17). Pissed.

Hole 16. This is the very easy driveable hole. Short par 4, just straight down. Waited for a long time for the front flight to clear because we could actually drive this green if we catch it. I did catch it, but it went straight right instead of drawing. Smack into the flower beds. Took a free drop, and hit a mediocre 60 degree to the right fringe. Chip was so-so, left me around 10 feet which I failed to convert for par. (+18). Hey, chip is not bad though.

Hole 17. Downhill par 3, and I semi-duffed my 8, so it hung on the front rough just missing the bunkers. Hit a very poor chip – but based on my chipping record for the day, I can’t complain much – I hit more good ones than bad ones. Had to settle for bogey. (+19)

Hole 18. OK – blasted my drive right next to the fairway bunker on the right, and actually hit a good 9 iron in from around 140m. It avoided the water, hugged the right but for some reason landed dead on the green instead of rolling forward. I had a long around 25 – 30 feet putt, which I lagged to around 4 feet. Should be a routine par, but I pulled my putt and unfortunately ended with a bogey. So I started the game with a three putt bogey and ended the day with a three putt bogey. Good symmetry. (+20)

Conclusion: At 92 gross on what should be an easy course is very disappointing. More so because those triple bogeys could so easily be avoided. I would like to lay blame on the slow-a$$ jokers in front of us, but to be fair, I should be managing my own game – slow players are part of the curse of this world, they will always be around till the end of time, so it’s just how we manage our game around these people…and frankly, I did a poor job of it. Better luck next round then.

The Return to Rahman

After a long layoff (so long in fact that I didn’t even realised that my club has issued new membership cards), I finally managed to get a very fast game into Rahman Putra, Championship (Lakes) course. The objective was really to get my chips/pitching more ready for actual play. I’ve been practicing in my garden but those are entirely different conditions. Rahman, with its cowgrass and tight lies around the green should indicate if any of my methods are actually working.

Hole 10: Teeing off at the harder back 9, I promptly hooked my drive into the water. Dropped, submarined my 3rd shot by 7 wood and with an approach shot of 110m, I hit my gap wedge much to short – and here comes the chip, and while I got good contact on it, I chipped it much too long and had to two-putt for double. (+2)

Hole 11: Hit a reasonable 5 wood which had a baby hook, but on the rough on the left, hit my 6 iron that flew the green bunker and trickled to around 8 feet of the hole. Sank the birdie! (+1)

Hole 12: 150+ meters up hill, I hit my 7-iron slightly short and had another chip to test. Hit a pretty good one with my gap, which landed just on the fringe but refused to move onto the green which would have been perfect. Two putt, bogey. (+2)

Hole 13: Easy par 4, just drive it, which I did. Landed around 70 meters from the green on the left with the ball sitting up in the rough. Now, for the testing pitch. 60 degree, inches away from being very good, but still an excellent contact which made me do a wardance of delight. Two putt for par (+2)

Hole 14: This is not an easy hole, but with my crooked drive, landed in the left bunker (I note that my drives are still hooking to the left a fair bit). With an 8-iron, I managed to hit a good bunker shot, which caught the trees on the right near the green and yes – another chip shot. And a good one at that, sank the par putt. (+2).

At this point I was feeling quite good about my chipping. There has been some pretty good contact and although these were not exceptional by any stretch of imagination, you need to understand where I was a few weeks earlier. I couldn’t even chip/pitch without feeling shaky all over, and skulling the damn ball all over the place.

Hole 15: Par 3, pretty easy one, I landed on the green but this time, three putted for bogey. Dang (+3)

Hole 16: The tough stretch begins. I boomed my best drive of the day  and had around 150m left to the green. My 8-iron fell woefully short and facing a chip I should be confident about, I duffed but contacted it, but it was poor – early indication I still suck. Two putted for bogey (+4)

Hole 17: Good, good drive to a tough tough hole. But skulled my 7-wood that just managed to cross the water, but  hung on the slope. I unfortunately shanked my 60 degree 3rd shot! It seems I am insisting to chip today. A chip that was poor (but still had contact), two putted for double (+6). Frustrating due to an excellent start position.

Hole 18: A poor topped drive but with 7-wood, managed to cross the water and left with 70 meters for my third. 60 degree was well hit to around 15 feet away from the hole. But, my first putt was too aggressive and the ball trickled down the green too fast…too far. Three-putted for bogey! (+7)

This 9 could have been much better, if I had putted properly. But then again, some of my chips were good as well, so it evened out.

Hole 1: The back 9 was bad because we ended up playing behind a MASSIVELY slow group. MASSIVELY. I hooked my drive into the woods on Hole 1, punched out, and half chipped/half pitched to the fringe, and two putted for bogey. (+8)

Hole 2: Tough par 3. I actually duffed my ball so badly it didn’t even reach the water! So for my second, my sand wedge dropped to around 15 feet, and two putted to escape with bogey! (+9)

Hole 3: Not a good drive, a bit of hooked left me slightly behind the small palm trees. But with a 5 wood hit well with natural hook, it left me on the fairway from around 120m to a downhill green. I should have hit this green with my eyes close but instead with my gap wedge I conjured a crap approach that drew too much and landed for a testing chip. A poor chip left me too much to do and managed a frustrating bogey. (+10). Seems like my chipping is going back to retardedness.

Hole 4: Another drive, another hook. But this time, with a lucky break as I have a window between the trees on the left. Pitching wedge on the green! And once more – 3 putted!! DANG (+11)

Hole 5: Hit my tee shot too short which left me with a somewhat difficult chip to a back pin. A mediocre chip which ran slightly too far to the back fringe and from there two putted for bogey. (+12). I have started my back 9 with 5 straight bogeys.

Hole 6: HOOK! Trickled down to the next hole’s rough, near the next hole’s bunker. Without any way out, I punched out and with a third shot from around 110m downhill, a sand wedge took me to around 10 feet from the hole and by some stroke of incredible luck, sank it for par (+12)

Hole 7: At least a straight drive this time. With around 150 to the hole, I hit my best 8-iron, perhaps of all time. You know you hit a perfect shot when the finishing is there, when the impact is there, when you feel a bit of buzz on the feedback from the shaft and the ball flight is perfect. On that shot itself, you feel – hell, this is a pro shot. The only difference is that the pros hit these shot 93% of the time. We hit these shots 7% of the time. Dropped to 8 feet and just missed my birdie and settled for par (+12)

Hole 8: The toughest hole. I topped my drive but still managed to find fairway, although an incredible distance away. A 7 wood took me to around 20 meters from green and pitching distance. Again, a very good pitch to a very difficult green. It left me on the fringe, and a slippery two putt for bogey (+13)

Hole 9: A good 5 wood  and 7 wood left me to around 110m to a very uphill green. Unfortunately I couldn’t close with a good approach shot, my pitching wedge leaving me to the right of the green. I want to end the day with a super chip, but instead skulled it and airmailed it to around 15 feet past the pin with an extremely fast, curvy downhill. Managed to negotiate the putt for a bogey finish. (+14)

Conclusion: It’s ok. I like where my chipping is heading. My driving is not heading in the same direction though but like I said, you can compensate for drives but not for short game. An 86 gross on the traditionally difficult Lakes of Rahman, after more than a year not playing the course is, to me, a fairly good score!

Palm Garden and Chipping

So, for the first time this year we played at Palm Garden Golf at Putrajaya. It’s actually a reasonably easy course but for some strange reason, scores are never good over here.

But today, I had another mission: solve my chipping problems. It needs to be resolved. I’ve developed a really stupid, but maybe effective method. I address the ball in a narrow stance, with the ball in the centre. Then I shift my feet to 45 degrees of the ball, as in, in a really open position as if I am hitting the ball 45 degrees to the left of its intended target. Then I move my hands back to address the ball.

What this does is that I am chipping with an extremely exaggerated open stance. I’ve tried many times in my garden back home and I am hitting them perfectly. So it’s time to take Ranger Rick to the course.

Hole 10: We started at the Bismark course and immediately at the tough par 5. I haven’t resolved my drives yet, but again, my priority was to figure out my chipping so I didn’t really care much. I was still pulling my drive. My second shot was a good 5 wood, leaving me around 90 meters to the green. I hit my 3rd shot sandwedge fat and immediately now was left with a tricky chip over the rough onto the green. I took my sandwedge out, did all my standard setup and…..skull. I don’t get it. I can hit it perfectly from anywhere at home and when it comes to the course, it’s…completely fishes up. The skull left me with a long putt for par which I missed, settled for bogey (+1). DANG!

Hole 11: Tough par 4, but I didn’t hit it badly. I just pushed my drive straight right but for some weird reason, couldn’t find my ball. I am unlucky in many ways and usually if there is a ball missing, then it’s mine. I took a drop near the trees and stuffed a gap wedge to around 8 feet, and sank the bogey putt (+2).

Hole 12: Easy par 3. Aimed right with my gap wedge to around 110 meters and stuffed it to around 6 feet! I missed the easy birdie badly but hit the comeback for par. (+2)

Hole 13: This is the massive par 5 which as long as you don’t go right you are fine. I went left. WAAAY left. Surrounded by trees I actually hit a very lucky shot that skim every branches along the way and landed around 100 meters in the rough on the left. Now, it was an easy sandwedge to the green, with only one skinny palm tree in front of me. And amazingly, I hit the the palm tree smack in the middle of its trunk, rebounded into oblivion behind me to OB. Amazing luck. I could try to hit that tree a 1,000 times and never get it. Dropped for 5th, duffed the shot near the green. Chipping time! I used a gap wedge and I chipped it too hard over the green.  Seven on and one putted for a very unfortunate triple. (+5) However, the plus is that I actually contacted my chip.

Hole 14: It goes downhill fast. Tough par 3,with OB on the left, which I promptly hooked into. My second hung onto the green, but I three-putted stupidly for another triple. Two in a row and it looks like this game is shot to hell. (+8)

Hole 15: A very broad par 5. This is a welcome sight because the fairway is so accomodating. Yet another hook, another missed fairway but no harm. I hit my 5 wood left, which left me dead inside the trees and which I had to punch out to around 100 meters. Should be my bread and butter, but I hit it fat. Chipping time! This time with a sandwedge, but it was poorly hit and my next shot crept into the green, then two putted for double (+10). The chipping at least wasn’t bad.

Hole 16: This is one of our favourite holes because you can power this one onto the green if you hit a great shot. I hit a poor drive and hooked it left, but it still left me around 70 meters to the green. I didn’t hit a good shot which left me on the rough near the green. Ah, chipping! I used my gap to chip and duff it slightly, so it went too short. Two putted for a bogey. (+11)

Hole 17: Nice par 3, but I played too short with my pitching wedge and landed into the bunker. One out, missed par for bogey. (+12)

Hole 18: Very bad drive. It was just straight top, veer left and somehow survive. Left me around 150 to the green, my 8-iron was topped and into the water. Dropped and hit on the green for my 4th, two putted for six. (+14)

So, made the turn at a very poor number. But strangely, I was enjoying my golf more because at least my chipping was improving. Honest!

Hole 1: This is relatively easy hole, but I again skull-topped-hooked my drive and had around 140 to the green. My 9 iron found the bunker, hit my third out, missed par, and went in for bogey (+15)

Hole 2: 9-iron went into the bunker, out in my second, missed par and settled for bogey (+16)

Hole 3: Long, long par 4. I hit a reasonably hooked shot, which left me around 160 away, but my 7 iron was hooked terribly, leaving me with a very very long putt. 3 putted easily, and expectedly for bogey. (+17)

Hole 4: This is a funny par 5 with island green approach. I hit the same skull hooked shot but somehow found my ball. A punch out, and another sandwedge left me around 100 meters to a downhill green. Another committed SW took me to around 10 feet from the hole, but couldn’t save par and settled for bogey. (+18)

Hole 5: Another par 5. This time. This time, I hit the best drive ever. Ever. It flew for miles and the release was perfect. My second shot, I stubbed my 5 wood and hooked it to the left but no harm done. I was only around 60 meters. My 60 degree was very poor and I only managed to get onto the front. But finally, a two putt – par to take home. (+18)

Hole 6: Tough hole. Hit a hook to the left but still in a good spot. Hooked my 6 iron and it hit literally the only small tree in the vicinity of around 30 meters from the green. CHIP/PITCH! I took my sandwedge, implemented my extreme open stance and yes, hit a brilliant pitch to around 6 feet of the hole. I felt like doing a rain dance then and there. I celebrated too much I think as I powered my par putt like 4 feet past, and couldn’t hit the return! Double bogey – but very happy with my pitch (+20)

Hole 7: VERY tough par 3. Long and again, hooked my 7 wood into the adjacent fairway. Wow. I was faced with a very tough shot over trees onto an extremely sloping green. 60 degree wedge, implemented my open stance again and executed a very good flop over trees and softly to the edge of the green. Extremely quick putt was done nicely to around 2 feet and putted in for a very unlikely bogey. (+21)

Hole 8: This is a fine hole and I hit a very good drive. I was on the right rough and I must have misjudged my sandwedge so poorly that I duffed it. Now, I am about 40 meters with a daunting pitch. I hit a ‘meh’ pitch to the front of the green, but considering here I was weeks ago, this was a success. It actually flew over the bunker and got caught onto the fringe. I putted for par to around 2 feet and unfortunately, missed the bogey putt when my ball rattled around the hole. Bad double, but hey, chipping/pitching is fun again. (+23)

Hole 9: Hit a good drive that completely flew the bunkers on the left. Left with around 70 meters and hit my 60 degree pitch shot again with my open stance. Getting really used to it now. It crept to the front of the green, and two putted for a routine par to end the round (+23)

Conclusion: You would think when someone scores 95 it would be an unmitigated disaster, but I really enjoyed the game. This is because I am beginning to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel to my chipping woes. Sure, my irons and drivers still suck, but generally I am fine with those because I can compensate by aiming right to accommodate my hooks. I am not concerned. The chips however…you can’t escape this. There is no bail out, there are no compensating factor here.

Open stance, good tempo, and my chips will be fine. I just need to clock in a few more rounds to get this down to habit and I am ready for fine golfing again.

Glenmarie Roasting

Ah. Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone says: “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”

Out and in here would mean OUT of shitty golf playing.

They here would mean the golfing Gods, or whichever deity is involved in this hopeless drama of pain and suffering called GOLF.

After playing some good golf (relatively speaking) over the weeks, I was pretty confident going into Glenamarie Valley this week. Remember we like Glenmarie. We just don’t like the caddies. I was just recovering from a terrible fever and food poisoning around 48 hours prior, but it’s not an excuse , because I would say, aside from feeling somewhat weak, I thought I was feeling fine overall to play.

We teed up in Hole 10, and today, we were behind complete buffoons who were so slow, they make glaciers look like the Starship Enterprise doing hyperspace.

Hole 10: Straight forward hole and technically should be easy – pulled my drive into the rough on left, a nine iron left me my worst possible shot. The bump and run chip. I proceeded to duff and plop for my third to the front of green. Long lag put and dropped my bogey (+1)

Hole 11: I can score on this damn hole! But I duck hook my drive to around 160m only. An 8-iron left me once more the same stupid bump and run requirement which I proceeded to duff and plop into the bunker. My fourth out of the bunker flew to the back, and two putted for my double bogey. (+3)

Hole 12: So this is the very long par 3 which I usually do not find an issue. But once more, I pulled my 5 iron way left and almost OB the damn thing. I found my ball deep in the rough, tried to muscle it out like Tiger and it plopped 5 feet a way and my third only found the green. Two putted for double. (+5).

Hole 13: Even though I aimed way right on this hole, my ball still insisted on going left and hooked into the rough. I hit a really good 6 iron from the rough. Really, from where I was I thought it was a great shot. When I saw where it landed, it was $hit. It was the bump and run chip/ too long to putt/ not in bunker shot. At this point, I was like an idiot scared $hitless about this shot and I decided to just use a 9-iron and channel the calmness of Phil Mickleson. The result? Duff and plop. So from hole 10-13, every hole I have duffed my damn chip shot, which a chipmunk blindfolded, and being roasted alive over boiling lava would still be able to execute without an issue. 4-on then, two putt for double bogey. (+7)

Hole 14: This should be my favourite par 5. It should be but by now, I was more demoralised than Manchester United in Champions League this year. I pulled my 5 iron into the woods, punched out, hit my 8-iron to 100m and 4-on with a gap wedge. 2 putted for a bogey. Not bad (+8)

Hole 15: So we cross over to the water par 3. PULL AGAIN!!! But this time there was luck. Instead of the water, the ball miraculously landed right at the edge of the fringe and stayed there. Instead of thanking God and taking the break, I duffed my chip again to the fringe and then two putted for a bogey. Stupid stupid Stupid. (+9)

Hole 16: This is by far the worst. I hit a pulled drive. It wasn’t bad. Really it wasn’t. Everyone thought it was fine. It landed just light on the left of the buggy track. Caddy said fine. Went there and nearly dug up the entire course looking for the bloody ball and couldn’t find it. It’s so frustrating. I hit my 4th over the green, 5 on, two putted for TRIPLE. (+12) If I wasn’t fuming on my game, I was truly ready to throw my entire bag into the water.

Hole 17: Apparently the toughest hole on the course. At this point, I changed my grip to be a lot more open because I gave up on my swing. Amazingly, I hit my first good drive of the day. First – straight, but not very long, but straight. It feels strange because it feels I am hitting the ball with an OPEN clubface and I feel that the ball will spin right. But it didn’t. It’s strange! So from the fairway for the first time in my life, I flighted in a 9 iron to the downhill green to about 10 feet and amazingly hit a birdie out of NOWHERE. Even my playing partners were stunned. It was like suddenly a chihuahua bit the balls of a pitpull that was in the process of eating its intestines. (+11)

Hole 18: The Par 5. Tested this strange grip again. Same result, short, ballooned drive, but straight. Second shot 5 wood wasn’t good but still landed on the rough around 110m away. Gap wedge into the green, two putted for a simple par. (+11)

At this point, we were halfway through our second frame sixers game. My first frame partner played like a squid and blew almost all holes, and we lost pretty big (5 balls) in the first frame. Annoyingly once he partnered with another guy, he proceeded to par all 3 of his first 3 partnership holes. I was staring daggers at him already and threatened to puncture his tyres later.

Hole 1: At this point, I thought my game was turning around. Thought. But the guys in front of us were playing so slow, we were growing roots and turning into plants waiting for them to play. They are horrible! So, tee off Hole 1, I reverted to my strong grip because so much water on the right and my new grip felt too open. Immediately pulled nearly into OB. I duffed my recovery into the water, dropped for my 4th and landed that near the green. Putted on for 5th, two putt for 7. (+14) To Make matters worse, that ex-partner of mine, had gone on to par this hole as well, so after playing +10 on the first 6 holes with me, he is actually playing even on the last 4 holes with another partner and racking up the fringes in the game.

Hole 2: Par 5, very easy. Pulled my drive to left, but hit a good 5 iron to around 80 meters. Overshot my 60 degrees to the back, and really, its an awful recovery to end with a bogey from my position. It’s so stupid. (+15). At this point, my ex-partner had duffed his third shot and he was off the green for his fourth and I thought finally, this train wreck can stop. No, he hit a ridiculously stupidly good bump and run that ran all the way into the hole for a birdie. What can you say?

Hole 3: Another relatively easy hole historically, at least. I hit a pulled hook into the woods, but knocked it out and had about 80m to the uphill green. For some strange reason, my 60 degrees came up very short and I had to putt off the green. Couldn’t get near the hole and bogeyed. (+16). The good news is finally, my ex-partner ended his par/birdie run with a double bogey. The stats: +10 with me for first 6 holes, +1 with the next guy on next 6 holes. Huh.

Hole 4: Par 3, easy nine iron to the middle of the green, two putt for par. (+16)

Hole 5: Tough par 5, but hit finally a good drive that stayed slightly on the left of fairway. Six iron was bad and skittered away, left with 130m or so. Gap wedge was slightly short to the fringe and two putted for bogey. (+17)

Hole 6: This is not an easy par 4. Its the one with the power lines to the left. I hit a fairly straight drive, but woefully weak and short. From the fairway, I fluffed my 6 iron into the green bunker and barely got it out with my third. I skulled my chip fourth shot to the other side of the green and two putted for a double (+19)

Hole 7: Ah. The signature L-shape hole. My 5 iron was very short and badly hit. It left me an awkward stance for my second in the rough and predictably I managed to hit a magnificent second shot into the water. Dropped for 4, hit it on the green barely and two putted for double. (+21)

Hole 8: Par 3 and really NOT.FEELING.IT. Still opted for my 5-iron and like an idiot, blundered my shot into the left rough about 40 meters from the green. At this point, I think my mates were starting to feel a little pity for me, like watching a dog die a slow death being rolled over by motorbikes over and over again. My 60 degree was too strong, went over, my shot back was too strong and ended up the front and finally put my 4th on and putted for double. (+23). Sigh.

Hole 9: I am just glad my suffering is over. Glad. I felt like dying. And at this point of “Frankly My Dear I don’t give a damn” moment, I hit finally a great drive. Not a shitty, halfbaked straight drive with the open club face, but the way I always hit my drive. Closed clubface, swinging like a caveman, killing the ball like Jack the Ripper drive. What? I was now 90m from a very elevated green, which I used a sandwedge to get myself up there. 8 feet downhill swaying putt? Yeah, drained the sucker for birdie to finish the round. (+22). In your face, stupid golf game.

Conclusion: I was just dog tired. All shots went left. Legs dead. Strength gone. It was a strange feeling but two birdies? I’ll take it and play again another day.

Mines Part Two

Its not coincidental that there is a sudden upsurge in article writing in golf lately. The interest is renewed. Thanks to Mr Tiger Woods, because he is back. Suddenly, the whole game becomes interesting again, and I am staying up to watch, and I am thinking I can once more play like him.

This week was Mines Part 2. Mines as you know has always been kind…with par 71, and with good conditions, we are absolutely spoilt beyond words in terms of golfing. We will never set foot again in Seri Selangor after going through these courses.

So, this time, we started in the back 9 and for some reason, Mines today was completely jammed up. Apparently there were some private competition. Also, behind us, apparently was a flight made up of money lenders, which obviously doesn’t bode too well for us.

Hole 10: This is the one I screwed up last round where I pulled into the left water, and then 3 on and one putted for par. This time, I hit the a semi good drive, which actually was a pull but it went nicely to the left, so taking the giant tree in the middle of the fairway out of play. My second shot was supposedly a simple sand wedge. I chunked it. My third chip skittered across the green and I two putted for bogey. So the moral of the story is: bad drives doesn’t mean bad score and good drives doesn’t mean good score. (+1)

Hole 11: The Par 3 where I lost my ball right the last round. Guess what. Deja vu. I shanked my six and once more went into the right jungle! What the H*ll! I chunked my pitch (again), four on and two putted for a triple bogey. Well done. (+4) At this point, we were forced to call on hole because the Ah Longs behind us wanted to play. So instead of facing the barrel of a gun, we took the smart way out and allowed them to play through. The problem was, our entire round then was a stop start wait sequence due to their not-so-fast play.

Hole 12: The par 5 where I hit the tree on the right the last round. Guess what. Deja Vu. I hit exactly the same shot as last round, hit exactly the same tree, but this time, instead of going through, dropped behind the ladies tee and a free jug spent, and became the butt of laughter. What the H*ll x 2!!! This time, I hit my 5-wood to almost exactly the same spot behind the bunker as previous time I played, though further back. I had about 190 to the uphill green, front pin. I opt for my seldom-used 7 wood and just hit the greatest 7 wood ever hit by me. It started right and drew in, flirted with the trees and then landed softly on the fringe, and rolled into the green, pin high around 8 feet away from the hole. Unfortunately I did not convert the birdie but it was once more, lousy drive – par combo on this hole. Who’s laughing now? (+4)

Hole 13: Pulled my drive left and luckily was around 10 feet away from water but awkward lie. A 7 iron got me to around the dreaded 10 meters distance from green. I chunked my chip again!! ARGH. Pounded my fourth on and amazingly one putted from around 10 feet for bogey. Putter is feelin’ it. (+5)

Hole 14: Pulled my drive to the left again (like last round) but instead of punching, I opted to flop a 60 over the trees back to the fairway around 100m. A gap wedge took me around 8 feet of the pin and once more, the putter went to work for a very unlikely par. (+5)

Hole 15:  Pulled my drive to the left again but this time, my luck ran out. This is the easy hole and I lost my ball. Taking an “illegal” OB drop for my fourth shot around the trees, I flopped it on to around 10 feet and once more, one putted for bogey. Amazing putting, horrendous driving. Why don’t ever these two suckers work together?? (+6)

Hole 16: Par 3. Tiger par 3 because of the giant tiger statue looking at us, as in the actual animal, not Tiger Woods. I shorted my nine iron in and hit a very very mediocre putt from the fringe to the back pin and — finally — missed out an easy par putt. Settle for bogey. (+7)

Hole 17: Tun’s hole. Favourite hole. I hit a straight drive (for once!!) but I was aiming right, thinking it would pull, so it landed in the rough between bunkers. Around 130m away from green, I opted for a pitching wedge instead of a 9-iron which I should have used. I landed 5 meters short of green and from there, an off the green putt left me too much work for my par and I bogeyed my favourite hole. Damn! (+8)

Hole 18: The Top Glove hole. Because there is the Top Glove building that I always aim for and hope it draws back to the fairway. It was a great straight hit but again, because I compensated for a draw/hook, it plopped into an impossible lie in the rough which I could just punch out. From there, I hit a poor approach short of the green. Putted into the green and two putted for a double. (+10)

At this point, the theme was clear: My drives were pulling and I was compensating. But the last two hole I compensated, I hit straight drives. What the fishcakes is happening?!

Hole 1: So to the front 9. Semi pulled my drive but not so bad since I compensated right. I was left with around 110 to the uphill green but I flew my gap wedge to the right fringe. I finally hit a good lag putt to tap in for a par. (+10)

Hole 2: The L-shape Par 5. Signature, at least to me. A good drive, but second shot I short sighted myself. I played an 8-iron thinking it would get me to 100 meters from the green. Instead it was poorly short and I was around the 150 meter marker instead. I pulled my 9-iron and it was going wet on the left, when suddenly, it ricochet off the face of a rock at the side of the lake and went up and landed softly on the fringe around 10 feet away from the pin!! If that wasn’t luck I don’t know what is. I two putted for the most unlikely par in my decorated history of unlikely and undeserved pars. (+10)

Hole 3: Index hole, long par 4. I pulled my tee shot in the huge left fairway bunker but managed to hit a good 7-wood from there to around 20 meters. This is the kryptonite distance and yes, once more I chunked my pitch to a few feet, and managed to regain some pride with a chip to around 15 feet. Putted in for a bogey. Putter is fine. Drives are not so and chips are completely retarded. (+11)

Hole 4: Finally, the course gives and takes away. Remembering the Hole 2 nonsense, Mines decide to swallow up my ball on the left after another PULLED drive (my seventh overall). I couldn’t find the ball, took an illegal OB drop, chunked my fourth shot, five on and two putted for triple bogey. CRAP. What more, an easy hole relatively which I birdied in my last round! (+14)

Hole 5: Hit a reasonable eight iron to the fringe but almost in the exact copy as the previous round, I putted off the green too quickly and skittered to around 6 feet past which I failed to sink, settled for a bogey. It’s like I am on a replay here. (+15)

Hole 6: The driving par 4. For once I hit a dead straight drive and landed to around 20 meters from the front of the green. I hit a dreadful pitch but at least it crept into the front of the green but far away from the back pin. Lag putted and hit the resulting 4 footer for a par. (+15)

Hole 7: The par 3 over water. This time, playing at the black tee, I flighted my 5-iron, pulled it somewhat but luckily hit the slope on the left and bounced onto the fringe to around 15 feet of the hole. Luck! Two putted for par. (+15)

Hole 8: The long par 5. I’ve  learnt a lot of lesson here from the last round. I pulled my drive just like the last round to the left rough. Hm. OK. I used my six iron just like the last round and hit the exact same pull that skittered over the ground. But this time I got lucky, instead of hanging up on the rough, it rolled to around 120 m from the green on the fairway. At this point, we each told each other: “Don’t go right” because there is a valley in there and a steep hill to the green. I hit EXACTLY the same chunk as I hit last round here. Exactly. And it landed at the same spot. Last round I managed to hit a super 60 degree to 5 feet and putted for par. So, I had every reason to be optimistic here since this is like Groundhog Day. CHUNK. It went into the hillside to the right. Where we told each other not to go. The best thing? ALL OF US ended up there. We are like a bunch to stupid lemmings playing golf. I managed to chip well (I think because I didn’t care anymore) and it landed inches from the hole and I settled for a bogey. (+16)

Hole 9: PULLED MY DRIVE AGAIN. I was like Goddammit, just bin this damn driver. In the rough under the tree, no hope for regulation on, so I hit a low 5-iron and then a 60 degree wedge to the fringe. Two putted for bogey to end the day. (+17).

It was a game that was strange. I felt my putting was once more amazing, but I really gave up more than half a dozen strokes on my lousy drives and chunky chips. Its a mental thing, I think, my chipping. Ah well. Now, I guess back to watching Tiger for the Bay Hill tournament. Go Tiger!

Glenmarie Valley Course

Glenmarie always had a bit of dysfunction in terms of the quality of its course vs the quality of its services. The course – especially the Valley – is a joy to play in. The service like caddy and marshals are as bad as extracting your wisdom tooth with a rusted plier. And as expected, today’s game, our caddy was once more hopeless. On the 2nd hole already, he wanted to start smoking, until one elderly gentleman from our flight scolded him properly.  I don’t know why they are so idiotic like that. Can you imagine me doing training formally with my client in his office and then start smoking while in the training? Glenmarie, please spend more in getting proper people to run your course!

The marshal is also another joker. She came to us on the sixth tee claiming we are slow. I looked back and saw nobody on the green on the previous hole. How are we slow? We played the next hole and even on the tee of the hole after next, we saw nobody on the tee on the previous hole. She kept asking, are you a member, is anyone a member, you are slow. I said OK, sure we will hurry up but I don’t see anyone behind me.

But Valley course, while not as joyful as mines, usually serves a good score for me, but today, the greens were quick. And mostly on quick greens I suffer. My driving wasn’t as bad as in Mines, but my putting was awful. It’s very strange that the driver and putter never want to go to work together.

Hole 1
Tough par 4 and I started the day by pushing my drive into the water. Its common that in the  first few holes I always struggle, and from there on, I couldn’t recover and ended up 5 on and 2  putted for a triple bogey. (+3).

Hole 2
This is a broad par 5 and friendly. A good drive and a duffed 5 wood saw me around 130 meters  away which I duly put on but unfortunately 3 putted on a quick green, missing an easy 3 footer.  (+4).  3 putt.

Hole 3
This is a very nice hole where a good drive can find you less than a hundred to the hole. Which  was what happened to me. I flighted in with a gap wedge around 100 and two putted for par. (+4)

Hole 4
An uphill par 3 around 140 meters, where if you challenge the front bunker you will be duly  rewarded. I took a pitching and stuffed to about 5 feet and sank in the birdie! (+3)

Hole 5
And right after the birdie, it went downhill quickly. This hole was tough because it was narrow  and does not favor the guy who hooks. I hooked my drive, punched out and with around 160 to the  hole, I mistook the distance and my 9 iron was left with a difficult 20 m flop over the bunker  which I stubbed to around a few feet away. My 5th was too hard and it rolled over the green down  the other side, and my 6th was barely on. Two putted for a nice triple, yay. (+6)

Hole 6
This was where the marshal came after us and told us we were slow. We never saw anyone behind us  and we were all fast players, so what the hell was she babbling about? This was a reasonably  tough par 4. I found the bunker on the right even with a good drive, and from there hit a  pathetic shot out to around 60 meters. I flopped my 60 degree to around 5 feet but this time,  missed the par putt (+7)

Hole 7
A very nice dogleg right that needs to go over the water on the second. A five iron left me
around 150. I almost hit the perfect 9 iron but started too far left and couldn’t draw the ball back in. My ball plopped into the green bunker, one out, and two putter for (+8)

Hole 8
Long par 3 which my five iron found the side. It was not a great lie, with a lot of rough between  ball and green but because my chipping was so retarded, I opted to putt. It barely crawled on the  green and I two putted for bogey. (+9).

Hole 9
The final hole this nine is the signature par 4. However I hooked my drive and from around 140 at  the bottom of the hill, I duffed my nine, chipped poorly on but managed to two putt for a bogey.  (+10)

Hole 10
As great as my putter was last round, it was kaput this round. A great drive to start, but
shortchanged my approach when my pitching was short. Again, I opted to putt but was once more  very poor and only had to 2 put for a bogey (+11)

Hole 11
Great par 4 here, but my drive found the trees on left. A punch out found my next shot at my  dreaded distance, the 30 meters chip/flop. I obliged my idiocy by skulling my chip over the green  into the water (!). I hit a reasonable flop for five on and two putted for triple bogey (+14) my  third of the game.

Hole 12
This was a par 3 which I finally hit a perfect 5 iron into around 180 meters to the fringe.
However, I managed to sabotage all my efforts by three putting from around 20 feet for a bogey!  (+15)

Hole 13
Tough hole but I managed to hit a very good drive that left me around 140 to the green. Instead  of a nine, I thought I could muscle a pitching in there. Like Hole 10, shortchanged myself, and  once more on the side of the green. Opting to putt, it was not a good one (again) and I had to  two putt for a bogey. (+16)

Hole 14
The signature par 5. Everyone’s favourite. I clobbered my 5 iron and then positioned myself with  an 8 to around 100 meters. A simple gap wedge gave me a 10 feet or so putt. I am a putting idiot  today as I blew the first putt past and missed my 3 feet comeback. AGH! (+17)

Hole 15
The par 3 was playing from black tees and basically I just couldn’t shape my five iron into the  green due to the wide expanse of water on my left. Instead, from greenside bunker, I slapped one  out to the fringe and two putted for bogey (+18)

Hole 16
A reasonable drive which gave me around 130 meters to an uphill green. I used a gap wedge in  (much to the confusion of my caddy because he kept looking at my gap wedge in disbelief – to be honest, its probably the distance marker that is a little screwed up), and stuck it safely on the green, two putted for a par that  was a long time in making. (+18)

Hole 17
Hate this hole. It favors the fader, but I set myself to aim so far right I drove the ball into
the trees and was spitted out to around 50 meters away. A poor 5 iron duffed left me around 140  meters to a downhill green protected by bunkers and water. I hit an OK topped pitching wedge that miraculously rolled to around 5  feet, and guess what? I three putted when I charged for the first putt and left with a tasteless  double bogey (+20)

Hole 18
Finally a par 5. The drive once more wasn’t a good one but caught a break when it sat up ont the  left rough. I hit perhaps the best 5 wood I ever hit to around 30 meters of the green, although that’s no man’s land for me. That meant my 5 wood went around 220 meters or so if the markers can be believed. I hit a bad chip, but at least I was on for regulation. A two putt routine par to  end the day. (+20)

So there it was: I 3 putted around 7 holes, inclusive of the ones I tried to putt outside the green and it just shows the how low confidence my game is on chips. If I can sort those chips out, I could probably play at an easy 14 handicap or lower.