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Kinrara Golf Club

Introduction

Before there was Bangi, there was Kinrara.

Meaning, that as a golf beginner, after haunting Bukit Beruntung and finding that it was so far and so lousy and that I have improved reasonably and can play golf without embarrassing my family name, a course much nearer and easier to access was chosen. And here, we have Kinrara, the course where most beginners can learn, and while it is quite challenging, especially the back nine, it’s still reasonably good to play on, without traveling to the ends of the earth.

We didn’t know which course to select for the Saturday morning weekend, that would be at least reasonably in terms of pricing: Selesa, Beruntung or Kinrara. At the end, as we needed to get home in the afternoon, the closer one was chosen.

The night before, torrential rain flooded the Klang Valley. I’ve played Kinrara a few times and I know that the drainage there was super….lousy. I recall holes where if we were to free drop on casual water, we’ll either be playing off the buggy track or the green. It was waterworld, Disney on ice, or whatever smart alecky term you want to think of.

So with much fear and trembling, we got up to a drenched morning and headed to Kinrara.

Travel (4/5)

One of the major plus point for Kinrara Golf Club is that travel is a breeze. Well, it depends on when you are going. If you took the day off on a working day, there might be a slight jam on the LDP, but most of the jam is going the other way. The best way from PJ is to head down the dreaded LDP to the Sunway toll. After the toll go straight all the way (don’t follow the flyover to Puchong or you are chopped meat). You’ll hit a trunk road and after a one km or so, you’ll see a flyover to Kinrara township. Take that and at the first traffic lights, turn left. Follow the road to a T junction and you’ll see the course in front of you. Turn right at the T junction and Kinrara Golf Club is going to be on your left.

To add more value for our limited readers; I’ll try my hardest to put maps into subsequent reviews as well as phone numbers of the club. Instead of just bashing the course with our intense criticism or loving it with our intense passion, we also want to be slightly useful in terms of course location and getting their contact. You’ll be amazed at how darn difficult it is to get information on Malaysian courses, like a simple map or number. Most of what we google are crappy golf sites that give only general and uninteresting information. Where’s the map? How do we get there? And why is the number no longer working? We believe information is power and in Gilagolf, in order for us to achieve our incredible goal of having at least 10 people reading the crap we write, I think value added services is in order. If we get our readership up to 100, we will even start arranging golf games for you and upon request, dance YMCA on the bar of your choice. We are all men, by the way, so please don’t expect too much from the dance.

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Price (3/5)

Another strong point about Kinrara is that it’s one of the most reasonably priced golf course that does not require you to go through horrible jams, or wake up so early that even the school bus aunty has not made her rounds yet. It charged us RM90 for weekend slot, prime time Saturday morning. On normal days, with AGN, we’re paying around RM55 for a tee off, which is very reasonable. The non AGN rates are also reasonable and we are always able to get a tee time in Kinrara. I suppose the reputation of Kinrara as a course that doesn’t have very good fairways deter people, since the traveling is pretty easy.

First thoughts

I’ve played Kinrara probably a dozen times in my short golfing career and it’s a course where you score well at. It’s by no means easy, as some of the par 5s play quite long and narrow, and the killer par 4 18th is a dramatic hole, representing one of the best ending hole I’ve played. Standing early morning in the back 9, faced with a par 5 tee off elevated; it’s a course that initially looks normal to you but as you continue to play it, it grows on you. By no means it’s a top tier course, as we shall soon find out; but due to the sentimental attachment to this course, we tend to be a little easier with it.

After all, after Bukit Beruntung turned into a pile of junk; this was the course I personally adopted when I was clubless.

Service (1/5)

Kinrara was never really big on service. I remember that their F&B is totally crap, and until today remains so. Slow to the point of actually moving backwards, the waiter would saunter slowly up requesting for our orders and take a few years before bringing it. I don’t know what is it with golf clubs and crappy F&B service. It’s as if all the lousiest waiters and waitresses in the world will congregate in golf clubs and collectively make life a living hell for golfers in need of water.

The thing I don’t like about Kinrara is the stupid food vouchers. There’s a fine print there that says vouchers not applicable for juices and coconut drinks, knowing full well that this, along with the soya bean cincau, is the staple drink for all golfers, much like zebra meat for lions. Unsuspecting idiots we were, we finished the round and asked how much for coconuts while putting down the vouchers on the table.

Now you as a waiter would be thinking: “They have a RM10 voucher on a table and asking for coconut drinks. Shall I inform them it is not valid or pretend to be a complete idiot and rub my hands in glee and let them fall into our trap?” No prize for guessing what he did.

Coconut drinks came and when we wanted to pay with the vouchers, he shook his head and said, “Not valid.” That must have given him as much satisfaction as Donald Trump derives when he bellows “YOU’RE FIRED!”. We looked at the fine print and cursed the day we thought coconuts were free and Kinrara was generous. We all paid, and to spite them, just to use up the vouchers, bought 6 cans of 100 plus (which we used in the next round in Tropicana).

We dislike being tricked (see our review of Tuanku Jaafar’s locker room keys incident). But due to the sentimental attachment, we are willing to give Kinrara a 1 in this.

Fairways (3/5)

Imagine going into the cinema and watching a show like ‘Enchanted’ with zero expectations and coming out of it quite pleased with the result. I mean the show still sucked, but it wasn’t as bad as you were prepared for. This is the opposite feeling of going into Star Wars Episode 1 thinking it was the greatest show on earth and coming out half dazed with its pure stupidity on every level. As well as renewed bloodlust to kill Jar Jar Binks and let him die a thousand deaths in the stomach of the Sarlac. Anyways, I quite liked the chipmunk in Enchanted, so I was reasonably surprised at how mildly entertaining it was. You gotta love that chipmunk.

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The fairways of Kinrara was our chipmunk. You go there expecting the worst and suddenly, even with the downpour the night before, the fairway was in great condition. I mean, relative to our expectation. It deserves our applause, because we’ve seen Kinrara at its crapiest and you can’t walk without wearing the Phua Chu Kang yellow boots as you wade through 18 holes. Right now, it’s like a different creature. Not super, but unexpectedly good. No plug balls. Limited casual water.

One look and you see maintenance workers working their butts off draining the fairways. An indication was the par 5 14th where the entire hazard on the right side was being dug up, and we saw water being drained from the adjacent fairways. They are hacking up the course and now it looks like crap aesthetically but it’s for the long run.

Greens (1/5)

As good as the fairways were, the greens totally blew away our happiness. I mean, it doesn’t make sense to excel in one thing and once we reach the green, we are like, what on earth is this? And earth is the right word, because even on the 10th green, there was this huge crater in the middle of the green. Serious. It’s as if a giant golfer with a golf ball the size of a bowling ball had teed up and left a gigantic pitch mark on the green. Who’s gonna fix this? Hello??

Green speed, green roll is totally zero. I gave up after a while and simply putted straight and watch it gather sand so that by the time it reaches the hole, the ball is twice its original size. Wow. Great job, Kinrara.

Rough (0/5)

And just when you think it can’t get any worse, we get hit by memories of Bukit Unggul, where the bunkers resemble some of the pictures we see from the Voyager in Mars. Or whatever the name of that little robot that they sent to Mars and got killed by Transformers. You guys watched the trailer right? No? Ok, anyways, the bunkers are crap.

Primary rough reasonably playable, and don’t forget the generous OB lines littering the course. However, it’s not as bad as Monterez or Nilai Springs. It would have been a 3 but we’re merciless if you have bunkers that scratches our precious clubs. Sorry, no sentimentality here. A big fat ZERO.

Aesthetics (2/5)

Kinrara is one of those courses where it’s neither here nor there. It’s good looking without being pretty, without being hideous. It’s like that girl who’s always been your friend, whom you never take a second look, but still find her inoffensive. It lacks the forest foliage that Bukit Unggul or Datai Bay has, it lacks the wide open fairways like Bukit Kemuning. It’s a split down the middle. In fact, we’re willing to overlook the hideous digs currently going on because of the drainage improvement it is causing.

However, points lost because of the workers. We’ve got workers walking all over the place. They are like the Augusta gallery. I’m sure they are there for the maintenance, but it’s quite disconcerting to walk to the green and you see a pack of foreign workers walking down the buggy track with their pitchforks and stuff and stopping to look at you while discussing, possibly about us, in their native tongue.

“You think this weird Chinese guy gonna sink his putt?”

“He stands funny. He won’t sink it.”

“OK, I’ll bet you for a pack of Marlboros.”

“OK. Here he goes.”

“Dammit! Stupid Chinese guy! May your ancestors curse you!”

At this point, I get a glare or a rude sign from them and they continue hiking onwards.

There are so many holes with workers. Don’t they have something better to do than walk around? And stop looking at my putts! I’m good! The greens suck! It’s not my fault!!

Fun Factor (4/5)

We usually have fun when we play well. In our flight, we are very very generous in our fun assessment. Even if I play like a pregnant cow drunk with alcohol, and our playing partner is doing well, we will all agree that the course is fun.

And boy did one of our guys do well.

It started with his back nine, going bogey on the first hole. And that too he missed a 3 footer for par. Then on the 2nd, he missed a 4 footer for birdie. On the 3rd, he stuffed his tee shot so close to the par 3 pin, we were willing to concede for birdie, but he wanted to hear the drop of the ball. Guess what, he pulled the 2 footer and settled for par. The fourth, he almost drove the green and curved a 7 footer in for his birdie. On the fifth, a superb downhill chip, and a tap in for par. On the 6th, he pulled his 5 footer for par and settled for bogey, ending his torrid 4 hole stretch. Next hole par 5, he recovered amazingly from a deep fairway bunker and one putted a 15 footer for birdie.

By this time, our little competition was over. I had 4 pars over 7 holes and still lost. He was even over 7, but could have been -4. Once the game was over, he lost it a bit and on the 8th hole, a perfect tee shot but he put his approach in the bunker. It was impossible to get it out because it was lying against the face with an overhanging lip that blocked the ball. Through some freak of luck, he pounded his ball and it came out. One chip, one putt for bogey and he is +1 over 8 holes.

He regulation on for the last hole and was probably doing a victory lap for the best round I’ve seen any of my playing partners play in 5 years of golf.

Unbelievably, he FOUR putted the last green for a double and a +3 39. Still a great score but it could have been -3. Pro golf standard.

He scored 53 on the first 9 by the way, so it was very much an average 92 score, but man, it was fun watching him beat the crap out of us.

Conclusion

It’s definitely a course that you can make a run like what my playing partner did. It sets up easy on the front nine but gets progressively harder, culminating the signature ending hole, a monster 403 meters par 4 that forces you to tee off over the trees and severely cut the dogleg right to get a chance of an iron into the green, to cross pond. You play it safe, you’ve got a 180m carry over a large hazard. A must play hole for any golfer.

The good: Good fairway drainage; easy access if non working day, reasonable price; one of the best ending holes you’ll ever get in Malaysia; course setup for a barrage of pars and birdies.

The bad: Greens and bunkers are extremely lousy, too many maintenance workers as gallery; bad F&B service that like to trick people, course lacks natural beauty and challenge, except for closing hole.

The skinny: 20 of 40 divots (50%). It’s a course that every golfer in Klang valley should try, just for the great 18th hole. We recommend it but stick to sunny days and when the course is fully ready, and the maintenance workers have all gone back to their homeland.

Kinrara Score Card

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Kinrara Information

Address:

Jalan Kinrara 6,

Bandar Kinrara,

47100 Puchong

Contact: +603-80762100

Fax: +603-80707822

Website: http://www.bandarkinrara.com.my/kgc/aboutus.htm

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Palm Garden Golf Resort

Introduction

Palm Garden.

If there were 10 courses in West Malaysia we always wanted to play, this would definitely be there. Kota Permai, Mines, Saujana, Sungai Long and Bukit Jambul in the top 5. Clearwater, Templer’s Park, Datai Bay, A Famosa would be the others.

Well, at least we’ve got 2 from that list.

Actually I’ve played in Palm Garden before and shot an 86 with 8 pars, one of the best rounds I’ve played. So I’m naturally excited to be back there after 3 years and as I remembered, the course is really forgiving. Undergoing some major swing changes, that forces me to fade on the good shots and push on the bad, a course like Palm Garden is a welcomed sight after playing OB happy courses like Nilai and Monterez. I have nearly eliminated by dreaded duck hook, but was still in the midst of the changes, which I hope would help me play more consistently. Hey, even hackers want to play some dignified golf you know.

Travel (3/5)

You can take a few ways to Putrajaya. Whatever the case is, whenever someone mentions Putrajaya or Cyberjaya, the natural reaction is a gag and subsequent fake death/fake vomit stunt. Everyone thinks it’s located in the next galaxy which simply isn’t true. I know, since I have the pleasure of driving to Cyberjaya every weekday for work. It’s located 35.5 km away from where I stay in PJ, and it flows against the traffic so the drive is only about 30 minutes; same time as those poor souls who must brave the jam to go to KL. Hey, we’re all in the same boat!

You can either take the LDP to Putrajaya, i.e passing through Puchong heading towards Cyberjaya. However, the best route is via the North South Highway, and turn off at our favourite interchange, Kajang. There we meet the famous forks: Right to Cyberjaya/Putrajaya; middle to Bangi, left to Kajang. Take the right this time and you’ll be on the SPRINT highway. I think. Actually I have no idea what highway it is; I’m just guessing.

Anyways, keep going and you will soon see IOI Resort and take a left. They’ve got pretty good directions here:

http://www.palmgarden.com.my/directions.htm

Easy drive, good accessibility!

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Price (4/5)

It’s unfortunate that for most of the top tier golf courses, the price often sets them back early. I mean I guess you get what you pay for and for a good golf course like Palm Garden, you’d expect them to chop you up and leave you to dry, much like how we paid 350RM for Datai Bay. Darn, I could have bought a new second hand driver off ebay!

The pleasant surprise, which enabled me to organize two flights of AGN member and non AGN member, was that Palm Garden had a brilliant promotion of just RM100 all in for walk in. That’s for weekdays but it’s a ridiculously good price for such a course. With AGN, we paid about RM70, a heck of a deal. Sure it’s weekday, but it doesn’t get better than this. A top tier course for RM100!

First thoughts

Our first concern there was that we didn’t hold up the queue. This was important. Playing in Palm Garden is like meeting Diane Lane in person. You want to leave a good impression with her so she gets to remember you when you bump into her again. Likewise, we’re all a little more polite with our thank yous, a little more gracious with your pleases and a little more lower in our bowing. Palm Garden is like golf royalty, one of the top courses in the country, so respect must be given.

We broke up our AGN flight; and paired two beginners with the other two walk in beginners. We put that flight in front of us to ensure they don’t get too pressured by strangers. Also, it’s a little more fun playing with players within our standard; the wager becomes more fair, the game gets a little more exciting.

We teed up on the 10th and predictably pushed my tee shot to the right. Ah, Palm Garden, the sanctuary for recovery. Having a good shot over the trees, I shot an approach that stuck 4 feet from the pin. Birdie? Nope, missed, settled for a bad par and boom, we’re off.

Service (3/5)

The registration took a little longer than it was supposed to. The lady was a little busy with too many requests and didn’t seem to handle stress well. However, it was very sweet of her to provide us with 3 sleeves of balls for the walk ins and a bottle of water. Another good experience with the service was that on the 1st tee, when we made the turn, the marshal came up to us with face towels for a wipe down. This is strange to us, as we mainly experience marshals being mad at us instead. On the 9th hole, our last, we saw as many as 4 maintenance workers with mowers working on the course. The maintenance is absolutely tip top.

The only incidences we had was when our buggy broke down on the Par 3 5th. We had to let another group pass us and we called the club house.

When our replacement buggy didn’t come, we had to pack our bags and two from our flight walked to the green. I called the clubhouse, urging them to hurry and that it has been 10 minutes since we called, and the lady on the other line snapped back, No, it’s only 5 minutes, and its on the way!

Jeez, take it easy, you grinch.

She obviously is not a golfer. To a golfer, every minute is twice as long waiting. This is because we are waiting most of the time. Waiting to tee up; waiting for the green to clear; waiting for the other guy to putt; waiting for the darn buggy to be delivered. She was clearly correct; but the delivery was unnecessary. I’m here for a golf game, woman, not to pick a fight. It’s your fault anyway the stupid buggy broke and we lost our flight slot. The correct response? “Yes sir, it’s on the way. Sorry to keep you waiting.” There’s no need to argue with me that I was mistaken in the minutes. Customer is always right. Live with it, you strange woman on the other line.

Because of broken buggy and Grouchy Woman, Palm Garden loses a little in terms of service. Still it’s a heck of a club.

Fairways (5/5)

As mentioned, the amount of mowers on the course was amazing. It seems like every hole was being manicured to perfection. The fairway was excellent condition. Ball sits up, divots taken we immediately replaced; and there was a harmonious co-existence between the golfers and nature, finally. The fairways were generally wide; but hookers and slicers as usual might find it a little tough. I was blasting the ball well though, and constantly had approach or pitching wedge into greens.

Greens (3/5)

Like Datai, the only let down in Palm were the greens. I suppose that is why they gave the RM100 promotion. Most of the greens had traces of sanding, although some already recovered. But definitely, the green was under maintenance and it showed and played that way. The sand made the roll a little inconsistent and wasn’t soft enough to land on. Greens here are generally a joy to putt, aside from that. There’s not much undulation and after some trials here and there, I managed to putt from the fringe and even on the fairway just off the green to save some pars.

Rough (4/5)

I would like to proudly add that I hit 8 out of 14 fairways and 7 of 18 greens in regulation. The fairways I missed was just off in the primary cut so it sat up nicely. Only a few times I found myself in difficult positions, on the 1st, 6th and the 16th. All inside trees, sparse enough to recover but like the monkey I am I couldn’t. I double bogeyed all of it, so it was quite challenging despite it’s appearances. I like the rough here because it gives you a chance to play the risky shot; like on the Par 5 4th when another push cause me to hit my second on a root, squeezing between trees to the fairway. Unlike Nilai or Monterez, the rough here suggests recovery and persuades you to take the risk.

And the bunkers were top class. Despite the rain they still managed to make it that fluffy sandy condition that allows you to blast out with satisfaction.

Aesthetics (4/5)

I’d like to have given it top score, but I’m afraid Palm Garden, while pretty, just isn’t in the same class as Datai Bay. In fact, Impian looks slightly better too, simply due to the variety. Palm Garden offers brilliant elevation pictures, like the 9th, or 12th, with the signature bunker in the middle of the fairway. The par 4 16th offers a generous run of fairway. A guy from my group blasted the ball 270 m on that hole. The fairways generally rewards the drive that runs and draws. So for me, I played it longer since my drive tends to balloon high and fade.

The Par 3s have so many opportunities to look good but they generally play the same; a carry over water, all playing 150m and longer. Without hills or tropical forests; it would have been tough for Palm to score a 5 here, Impian does it; but Palm falls just short. It’s still an awfully good looking course, but not exceptionally breath taking.

Fun Factor (5/5)

Here’s the stats for the day in our flight.

24 pars between four of us; 10 coming from myself, a record of sorts. How can you not have fun on this course? On the 12th, the elevation was drastic from the fairway to the green. At 140 meters, I was hitting an approach wedge and still flew the green. The course demanded a lot of good precise shots, but allowed the recovery to happen as well. I know that the beginner group in front of us was also having a truckload of fun judging by the yells and laughter. I’ve had some agonizing putts shave the sides for par saves and birdie chances.

We played sixers, i.e partnership with everyone in the foursome; and we were just going back and forth like pros. I would par, and the other guy would par to square. I bogeyed, my partner parred, but the other group saved par. Par, par, par. They were just falling from the sky. At the end, our scores of 84,89,93 and 94 were probably the best foursome score I’ve had in ages.

At the clubhouse, everyone was raving about the club. Fun factor was just over the roof. An easy 5/5.

Conclusion

It’s rare that we can get to play on a course as great as Palm Garden and for a price of a middle tier club. Face it, the promotion might not last, but we’ve got the pics, we’ve got the memories. It’s not an extremely challenging course; neither do I think it is championship material, as suggested by the website. I think it’s a nice, not too tough course, built for people who wants to have fun and who are hackers like me. It’s excellent to bring your boss to, or business partners or customers for a nice, stress free round of golf, just make sure you don’t get the grouch girl at the counter to spoil your day.

What a great end to 2007! Here’s to a better 2008 filled with pars, birdies and eagles; and perhaps a sub 80 round!

The good: So many things, great course maintenance; easy accessibility next to the highway; superb promotion pricing; memorable holes and a guaranteed fun experience for all level of hackers.

The bad: Service of buggies not up to par; Grouchy Woman must be removed at all cost, preferably with a tranquilizer dart; sanded greens took some fun away

The skinny: 31 of 40 divots (77.5%). If you haven’t played this course yet, with the current promotion, please stuff your 7 iron inside your nose as punishment. And if you have read this much without strapping on your bags and jumping over to your car to head out to Palm Garden, then that 7 iron should be stuffed up some place else. GO GO GO!!

Palm Garden Score Card

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Palm Garden Information

Address:
IOI Resort Batu 7,
Jalan Kajang Puchong,
62502 Selangor.

Contact: +603-89487160

Fax: +603-89422844

Website: http://www.palmgarden.net.my/course.htm

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Bukit Unggul Country Club

Introduction

Ok, this is one of the reasons why gilagolf site was setup. We find most golf reviews just extremely polite and untruthful about the course being reviewed. Face it, we are mediocre golfers, cursed to the very last breath to work on our swing, and fixing a slice and donating thousands of balls into the lakes and jungles in hundreds of courses. We’re never going to be in the PGA tour. We’re never going to beat Tiger unless he is 99 years old, half-blind and can paralysed from neck down. And by then I doubt any of us will even be alive. We’re never ever going to wear the green jacket in Augusta. Those are kid’s fantasies. Many people will say I give up my dreams too easily. Actually reality makes it easier to play golf and more enjoyable. I used to get really angry about my swing until this new philosophy settled in. Hey, you suck, anyway. The good shots are bonuses. Let’s all get along and have a good round of golf. And wouldn’t you know it: I got a whole lot better after that.

Anyways, back to Bukit Unggul. Here’s what the website says:

“Very few golf courses in Malaysia leave a lasting memory… Bukit Unggul Country Club is one of them. Craved into a 65-hectare valley, the par 71 5,858-metre long 18-hole course is a natural wonder created by renowned American architect, Ronald Fream. Golfers who play here for the first time instantly fall in love with each hole of varying character and challenge.”

This is like going up to a girl at a bar and saying: “Hi, I am so and so. I am very impressive, I have a good job, six figure salary and every girl says how wonderful I am and sing my praises. They instantly fall in love with me, I also have a 15 inch dongle. Please sleep with me.”

Seriously. Self promotion is no promotion. Actually, some girls might go for it; but you know, it ain’t the kind you want to get married to and live with. Your mom will disapprove.

More of it:

“Playing he (sic) hilly course demands patience and precise club selection. Here, a comprehensive fairway and green maintenance programme by the management ensures a satisfying round for golfers of all levels. Its undulating Bermuda Tifways fairways and tees, and true-rolling Tifdwarf greens exist harmoniously among a luch, majestic tropical rainforest to make play a true test of accuracy.

Bukit Unggul Country Club is simply an unforgettable experience.”

What the heck is luch? Rich you mean? Or lunch? What’s the key word here?

Spelling errors are sure signs of amateurish wrks. Who wold pozt ip something thjat dosent get run though the spll chcker frst?

We generally dislike courses that blow their own trumpet and cannot spell correctly. Please, let us be the judge of your so called unforgettable experience. Tsk.

Travel (1/5)

I’ve played more than 5 times at this place and each time I have no idea how to get there. It’s one of those courses that’s like a twilight zone experience. You’ve been there, you did something but it doesn’t leave any impression on you and you leave with absolutely nothing in your mind. Unforgettable experience? I can’t even remember the location of this dang place!

Easiest way is to take the North South Highway to Seremban and turn off at Bangi. You’ll immediately hit a big roundabout, so take a 3 from there. Follow the road and take a left at the T junction, a mosque would be in front of you. Now you’re on a little road with loads of holes so drive carefully. You’ll hit another T junction eventually, so take a right. Now you’re in a small road heading to Bangi. It’s quite windy and there are loads of trucks here. Look out for a right turning after the Nuclear Institute. It’s funny since there is a Nuclear and Atomic institute there, and these look like secondary school dormitories, that’s how advanced they look to me.

Anyway keep on that tiny road and eventually you’ll see Bukit Unggul on the left, after the driving school. From the Bangi toll, it took us about 15-20 minutes further into the rural area to get to the club. It’s like Kundang Lakes. Why do you need to make it so dang difficult to access??!

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Price (4/5)

If there’s one thing Bukit Unggul does right, it’s the price. With AGN, we’re paying only about RM50 and that includes RM10 voucher for food (which sucks, and is really expensive, so don’t ever eat at Bukit Unggul!!). Even walk ins pay around RM70. The price for Saturday morning is steep though, but that’s prime time, so we expect to pay about RM150. They also don’t throw any caddies at you, which is very positive and why we like such golf clubs. As mentioned, the food is probably leftovers used to feed monkeys and giant lizards; but aside from that, pricing is almost as good as Bangi.

First thoughts

For some obscure reason (please refer to twilight zone experience mentioned above), I always thought Bukit Unggul played easy since it was a short course, on paper. Sitting at the clubhouse, the course is seen built inside a valley; not a mountain, or hill, as the name Bukit implies. It should be called Unggul Valley.

We teed up on the 10th, a scary looking par 5. As usual, I pushed the ball way out into the 18th fairway, played back onto the fairway and struggled to the green in 3. Surrounded by lush rainforest (LUSH! So that’s the key word! Well, that part of the advertisement is true!), any ball that hooks, slices is headed to an early death.

Now I know why this course plays so tough, despite its meager 5858m appearances. Many of the greens are elevated, or located far below the fairways; so judging the distance is a cracker. Also, this course delights in giving you doglegs after doglegs, so a solid drive, like the one I had on the 1st, will be sent into oblivion (in my case, almost killing the guys teeing off at the 3rd hole)

Service (2/5)

The F&B service was just massively slow. We ordered drinks and it took them aeons to deliver it. In fact, I think the waiter started a family and had kids and forced one of his kids to finally deliver the coconuts to us. Maintenance of the course was also non existent. No marshals were in sight and I was almost killed at the 5th, a drivable par 4. Balls were raining down from the 4th tee box, where slicers sliced OB into the green on the 5th. No amount of shouting helped. To cap it all, I was leaning on the sign depicting the 14th hole design and the whole thing tumbled down, nearly taking me with it.

Fairways (1/5)

Sorry, this gets a resounding 1 from gilagolf. Even on the first hole, we have evidence of golf’s eternal nemesis, the wild boar. I think that’s the whole problem with having a course built around the jungle. If there’s a lack of maintenance (a problem that Datai Bay did NOT have), generally you’ll face some holes that you just gotta let go. Berjaya Hills had that problem. Frasers Hill had that problem and now Bukit Unggul has the problem. That’s a given. What we cannot excuse is plain neglect on the fairways and bad drainage. It didn’t rain the day before but the ground was still soggy and on some holes, casual water was still there. I don’t want to know how it would be if it faced the rain Tiara Melaka faced. The fairway was also patchy, with just mud, in some instances, the grass was dead. It wasn’t all bad, at least the ball didn’t plug in like Berjaya Hills, but still, for a course that sees so much traffic, I’d think more effort should be involved in upkeeping this course.

Greens (2/5)

The greens are playable. Undulating, as expected for a course that dubs itself Bukit, meaning hills. Elevated greens makes it awesomely difficult to judge the distance. On the 8th, for instance, a solid drive found me about 140m away from the green, judging by the distance markers. A flush 7 iron should have gotten me there, but left me short. Seeing how stupid I am in chipping, I ended up with a bogey. Many more holes played different from the yardage and just confused the dickens out of me. The greens don’t hold, and was generally patchy but at least they were playable.

Rough (0/5)

Wayward balls are dead. I can’t say anything that would save it. From hole one to 18, slicers and hookers will be in for a hard time. The par 5 15th was butchered when I sent my tee shot into the woods. Forget the doglegs, don’t play it; it’s too risky to carve your ball around the hazards unless you are Tiger, which you are obviously not. If you are, hey Tiger, you rock. Why the heck are you reading all these stuff?

My other triple came on my final hole. I was playing solid golf for 8 holes then and was only 2 over. Darn, I pushed my ball into oblivion, and my second ball as well but managed to recover it, I was 5 on after that, and two putted. I thought I couldn’t break 90 but found out later it was a par 35 on the front, and that gave me a respectable 89. Hey Michelle Wie can shoot that number, so can I. Yes, I like to challenge 18 year old girls in golf. No, I don’t feel emasculated at all. Any more questions?

I don’t really have that much complains against the rough, my major grief is on the bunkers. This is by far, the worst bunker maintenance I have seen ever. Worse than Frasers, worse than Berjaya. Not only was the sand hard packed like your pavement, it was filled with stones and rocks. Not the small type, but the type that scratches and chips your wedges. Seriously, what the heck are they intending to do? Make us claim insurance for broken clubs? Some bunkers still had water, so obviously it wasn’t maintained at all. But rocky bunkers get an automatic 0 from us.

Aesthetics (4/5)

Like Berjaya, this is a bimbo course. Looks good on the outside, but crap from within. Anything built around tropical forests will look good. Any course sporting monkeys and giant lizards for wildlife will generally be appreciated. Bukit Unggul is pretty, although not mind blowing as Datai Bay. The lousy fairways detracts the looks abit but if you stood high up on the 4th hole and take a picture, it really really looks nice.

But as the old adage from your mother goes: “Looks ain’t everything, boy.” It certainly applied at Berjaya Hills, it certainly applies here. Listen to your mother, she is always right.

Fun Factor (2/5)

Even though I ran into a hot streak and started bombing my drives and getting to 2 over through 8 holes, it wasn’t as fun as I thought. This is a course that DEMANDS accurate tee shots. And it plays pretty long too. Don’t ask why. I don’t know how 5858m extended itself but looking down on the 8th hole valley that plays on paper 375, I drove as well as I could and still had 150m to go. I think the distance is screwed up. I don’t think I am so lousy in my drives, right? My flight mates were all struggling in the back nine as well, and there wasn’t much talking going on. I think we were all embroiled in our own internal frustrations.

So, let’s rewrite for these clueless marketing people at Bukit Unggul:

“Very few golf courses in Malaysia leave a lasting memory… Bukit Unggul Country Club is NOT one of them. Craved into a 65-hectare valley, the par 71 5,858-metre long 18-hole course is an unnatural piece of crap mutated by renowned American architect, Ronald Fream, who is also a suspect in the latest crime of defacing golf courses around the world. Golfers who play here for the first time instantly realize how screwed they are with each hole of wrong yardage and sadistic treelines that eat your balls. Golfballs, that is..”

“Playing he (sic) sadistic course demands a beretta 9mm and a precise shot to the head to end all misery. Here, a non existent fairway and green maintenance programme by the management ensures a muddy, dirty experience for all golfers, and especially for beginners, remind them just how lousy and useless they are and that they should stay home and curse the day they took up a golf club. Its un-maintained Bermuda Tifways fairways and tees, and bouncy Tifdwarf (do we actually give a darn what Tif actually is??!) greens exist harmoniously among a luch, majestic tropical rainforest, filled with wild boars and monkeys who will not hesitate to attack and kill golfers, simply to make play a true test of agony, like middle age torture, or wearing a corset at your crotch.

Bukit Unggul Country Club is simply an forgettable experience. However it will often return randomly as a nightmare that will revisit you night after night until your dying day.”

There, now that is what I call truthful advertising.

Butchering the last wasn’t fun, but the general consensus of the group is that it would be a long time before any of us come here again.

By which time, I would have completely forgotten any experience of this course. Or the way to it.

Conclusion

Given the price, it seems like a good candidate to be at least a middle tier golf course, but instead it scratches the very bottom of the middle class courses, where Gunung Raya and Cameron highlands congregate. It should be placed in the class of Monterez and Nilai but the looks couldn’t save it. Unggul could have played a lot better, but lousy fairways and greens and the worst bunkers in Malaysia turned out to be its undoing.

The good: It’s like a poor man’s Datai Bay in terms of looks; pricing is as good as it gets in prime spots in Malaysia; good place to hone your 3-wood tee off to manipulate doglegs.

The bad: Journey is like to the center of the earth, i.e it sucks; service for food is bad; rotting signs can kill golfers; so-so greens and bad fairways; possibly the worst maintained bunkers in Malaysia. If you’re in it, God bless your clubs. And balls.

The skinny: 16 of 40 divots (40%). It’s hard to put a ‘never’ at a club offering such a good price, but it is offsetted by the course and travel. Play only if you got nowhere else to go or forced to visit your mother-in-law, but trust me, it’s nothing like what the website writes it out to be. Go somewhere else if possible.

Bukit Unggul Score Card

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Bukit Unggul Information

Address:

Lot PT 2180, 2181 Mukim,
Dengkil Daerah Sepang,
Selangor.

Contact: +603-89202888/2188

Fax: +603-89267870/79

Website: http://www.bukitunggul.com

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Bangi Golf Resort

Introduction

If we had a home course for our group, Bangi Golf Resort would probably be the best candidate. Every golfer has what I call the orientation course. This is the course where as beginners, we would play most of our rounds. These courses are usually either very far away or very lousy; so as to minimize traffic and to save the embarrassment of a whiff or the ignominy of not crossing the ladies tee box on our drive. Mine was Bukit Beruntung, I hear that it completely sucks now. Most of my flight mates learned how to fly in Bukit Utama, the 9 hole course that nobody likes to play but everyone is forced to because of its location.

Then we have the hunting course. This is the course where we truly play golf. Where we learn how to read the greens, the doglegs, the course management. And for many of us, this is Bangi. Due to the reasonable location but more for the kick ass pricing, this course has given us some of the best memories of our otherwise tragic golf careers.

Travel (3/5)

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Usually courses out of town is really a challenge in terms of accessibility. But around the Kajang district, we have a slew of courses that are top class: Impian, Kajang Hills, Palm Garden and Sungai Long. We know them as the four heavenly courses. Their little cousin is Bangi Golf Resort, a 27 hole golf course built around Equatorial Bangi. To get there, take the North South Highway headed to Seremban. Exit at Kajang, and after the toll, it forks three ways: Right to Cyberjaya, Middle to Bandar Baru Bangi and Left to Kajang. Take the middle and straight all the way. You will eventually reach a T junction at the end of the road and take a right. At the second lights, right after the petrol station, take a left, and a second to the right. There will be signs to point you in case you get lost. From PJ to the course is about 20 minutes, on a nice Sunday morning traffic.

Price (4/5)

This is really the main reason why many of us made Bangi our home course. For walk in for Sunday afternoons (non members), we paid about RM90 each. It used to be the same for mornings as well, in fact, cheaper at RM85 but I think there was a recent change. Before AGN, this was the most affordable course for us during the weekends. We spent many Sunday afternoons here, honing our drives, improving our putts and just progressing in terms of golf. With AGN, it gets better. We only pay RM70 for Sunday afternoons. In this region of good courses, Bangi can’t really measure up to the four heavenly courses, but as a cheap alternative with equally impressive maintenance, it’s a perfect course for intermediate players who are without clubs.

First thoughts

Seasoned golfers-you know you are seasoned when your skin color has 6 different tones-have the same impression on Bangi.

Easy.

Well it really depends how you play it. There are actually 5 tee boxes in Bangi: Gold, Black, Blue, White and Red so it really caters to all kinds of level. We usually play off Blue, mainly because for the other courses, Blue is typically the second toughest aside from tournament tees. However in Bangi, Blue actually plays as White and Black as Blue, in terms of difficulty and distance. Golfers being golfers, we are unable to adjust to the changes, and our preset minds cannot handle the sudden change in paradigm. That is why you see most golfers are really anal about their game: you have to wear certain colours, have a ball in the right pocket, must waggle twice, must have silence, must not have their shadows over the ball etc etc. Basically, golfers are just a bunch of mentally paralysed nutcases unable to operate outside of their comfort zone. Tee off at black tips? What, are you freaking nuts?!? I don’t care if that is really blue, it’s coloured black!!

At blue, Bangi plays the shortest: 5465m for the 1st and 2nd.

Important note: Playing Bangi, always play the first and second. It is the most scenic and nicest. The third is quite crappy aesthetically, although it does play ok if you don’t have a choice. For now, we will review our preferred 1st and 2nd nine.

This is by far, the shortest of all courses we have played on. In fact, from the black, it plays almost 500 meters longer. This has a 68.5 course rating, the lowest we find and a 122 slope, which plays tougher than Palm Garden. Actually, we have very little idea how those figures relate to our game, but we just want to make this review sound professional, see.

We also call this an asterix course. This means all great achievements in Bangi (and we will have them for sure) comes with an asterix. You birdied the 4th? Well, now, that’s great! Where? Bangi? Hmmm. I take it back. Eagle in Bangi? Meeh…You made out with a caddie on the 4th green? In Bangi? Caddie’s probably a dude…

It’s not truly a championship course, after all, it’s just a hunting ground for most aspiring golfers. The tutorial level before we head out into the big bad world.

Service (3/5)

As many times as we have played in Bangi, we have never really experienced the caddies. But check in is quite simple, as long as there is no queue, and the buggies are reasonably cared for. The plus point is really the food. It’s one of the better club food we have and by saying club food, we are comparing it with other golf clubs that usually serve ground nuts mixed with wild boar crap for sauce. It’s not superb, but at least, it’s edible and reasonably quick on the service.

The minus points are the guys at the locker rooms who would rush out to grab your shoes to wash and shine. Now, the first few times, I thought this was a great service, until I realize that when they returned the shoes to me, they weren’t expecting a thank you, which I would generously give them. Part of the service right? I was wondering why they threw me this dirty look. I realized after a few times, that those outstretched palms weren’t a foreign sign of gratitude or a request for high five.

As I said, we are not in a culture of tipping. If you wanna wash my stinking shoes, do it with dignity and not have something attached to it. I already paid. It’s called a golf fee at the counter. I don’t understand why I need to tip you to wash something I can wash at home. Will you zip my fly and ask me for a buck after that?

So after the game, walk straight to the locker and ignore all pleas, hand grabbing for your attention. Pretend to be either mute, or fake cardiac arrest. Whatever it is, don’t pass them your shoes. Well, ok, if you do and wish to be labeled the second most hated customer next to me, go ahead.

Fairways (4/5)

I like them. For a cheap course like Bangi, I always wonder how they could get the cash to maintain it as well as they do. Although my home course is Rahman Putra, my preferred turf is Bermuda, not cowgrass. It sits up, ready for you to blast the ball high into the green. I’ve played Bangi in all conditions available: soggy, damp, flooded, dry, baked, perfect; and so far, it has withstood the test. Sure, there are some drainage failures here and there but overall, the fairways are in great conditions.

Greens (3/5)

The greens are generally well contoured, with subtle breaks and consistent roll. It’s not tip top shape like Impian on its best days and your balls will probably not land and stick, as it plays harder, but it still adds a different challenge to the game. A well placed second shot to the front of the green can sometimes offer a more advantageous chip than a regulation with a lengthy putt. You can roll it pretty well on the fringe but the rough surrounding the fringe is pretty nasty and your balls can really get buried there if you’re not careful.

Rough (3/5)

The rough in Bangi comes in play a bit but from it, we still have a hope for recovery. Unlike courses built around a limited space like Monterez and Nilai, Bangi offers a good mixture of wide fairways and holes designed to punish wayward shots. Bunkers are generally well kept, if a little hard, so if there’s rain, dig it in with less bounce on your wedges.

Aesthetics (2/5)

Bangi has the misfortune of competing with the four heavenly courses: Sungai Long distinguishes itself by being a Nicklaus-designed course; Impian has top class greens and maintenance; Palm Garden is a hacker’s dream in terms of forgiveness and Kajang Hill is simply beautiful in its serenity. For Bangi, it had to find its own character and in that sense, it failed. The par 3s weren’t anything special; crossing lakes or hazards. The par 5s were simply too short; and it made us into heroes by attempting to two on from the blue tees. I’m not complaining obviously, but in terms of overall looks, it was simply quite normal and in this region of golf courses, normal ain’t gonna cut it.

Fun Factor (4/5)

Bangi is a fun course. Fun because the first nine has 3 par 5s. The first is a reachable one with a sharp dogleg almost 90 degree to the left. In one mighty stroke, you can cut the entire dogleg over the trees and land with an 8 – 9 iron distance for eagle. The second par 5 is also reachable with a good drive and roll; and a wood or long iron into the green guarded by two front bunkers. Finally the par 5 9th plays the easiest. An easy cut of the dog leg left will catch the hill and roll down. I was hitting a 9 iron into the green way below and hit a chip in for my first eagle there.

The second and third nine were more traditional, in a sense of regulation golf.

Possibly the most memorable par 4 is the 13th. It’s 260m to cross the pond onto the green, or you could go for a safer route to the left fairway where a long iron or wood would be enough.I took out my driver and blasted one of the best drive of my life, that floated high with little spin and landed on the green, one on, 12 feet away from a historical eagle.

In fact it was the most disappointing birdie I ever had. Why don’t we ever hit putts firm enough I will never know.

Conclusion

Bangi is like an old friend. There is already familiarity there since this was where we honed our skills (or lack thereof).We can always depend on how the fairways will be dry or how the greens will roll. Bangi always welcomes us with open arms and you’ll appreciate the shortness of the course if you are playing with beginners. It’s the perfect course to break in newbies to the game.

The good: Many challenging holes and opportunities for eagles; great price; generally good maintenance on fairways and greens, good balance between risk and reward.

The bad: Asterix course so my first eagle, my birdies and eventually my sub 80 round will be asterixed. Par 5s might play slightly too easy, even from the black tees; locker room boys haunting you for tips.

The skinny: 26 of 40 divots (65%). Bangi is easy to recommend to everyone, of any level. It’s a course that allows semi-newbies to have a taste of course life. Welcome to your lifelong prison called golf.

Bangi Score Card

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Bangi Information

Address: No 1, Persiaran Bandar,
Bandar Baru Bangi,
43650 Selangor.

Contact: +603-89253728

Fax: +60389253726

Website:  http://www.equatorial.com/bng/

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Bukit Kemuning GCC

Introduction

This is a little known course located in Bukit Kemuning, often overshadowed by its more illustrious brother, Kota Permai. In fact, if it wasn’t listed in the AGN clubs, I wouldn’t know of its existence. I’ve played in Kota Permai before (the course they have the Volvo Masters for the Asian PGA tour), but it was just too darn expensive to try out a whacky swing. With a whole day free, we decided to head towards Bukit Kemuning Golf and Country Resort, with little expectations on how it would be.

Travel (4/5)

We have no idea that Kemuning was so close. I mean it wasn’t so close that you could cycle over from KL or PJ, but we were settling in for a long drive, and before you know it, bam, you’re at the club. We’ve concluded that all clubs that are located near the highways are easy to access, but there are some that requires additional traveling inside, like Bangi and Kajang Hills; and some that requires a whole lot of driving before we can reach it, like Bukit Unggul.

The best way is to use the Kesas Highway to Kemuning, via LDP. Instead of turning at the Kemuning interchange, go further and turn off at Bukit Rimau. First roundabout, take a 12 and the second roundabout take a 3 and voila you’re there. In fact, the trip to return home only took us 17 minutes flat.

Here’s the map for easier reference:

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Price (3/5)

We paid a reasonable RM50 ++ on a weekday, using out AGN cards. It does shoot up over the weekend to more than a 100 RM, and we were a little surprised at the pricing package. Honestly, we expected something like Kundang Lakes or something, but instead we got quite a nice course, and with the condition and maintenance, the price was fair, unlike the ridiculous sum of money we have to fork out to play in Berjaya Hills.

First thoughts

Honestly, we thought Bukit Kemuning was a poor pretender to Kota Permai. You usually have these so called inferiority complex courses; whenever you find a course next to a big name, they tend to be really crappy: case in point, Kundang Lakes: Crap; Rahman Putra: Good. Perangsang: Crap; Templers Park: Good. So there was a pleasant surprise when we drove up to the front of the club house and found it quite classy. Any clubhouse with a working fountain at the front is classy to us.

The surprise extended over to the easy registration, the clean lockers and once on the first tee, faced with a large tract of land for a fairway, we knew that this course would be fun to play on.

Service (1/5)

Here’s the golden rule. If there’s anything wrong with the course, or if it is in maintenance, you need to inform the customer. I mean it’s like renting a car and not telling them their indicator isn’t working. Or the front tyre is punctured, or you have a leak in the carburetor. I mean, wouldn’t the customer eventually find out? What’s the point of hiding?

No information about temporary greens was provided to us. That’s a minus.

Cramming 5 – 6 golf bags into a single cart like Tiara Melaka is not only stupid, it’s dangerous for the clubs and the driver. Come on, don’t be so darn lazy and make multiple trips to get our bags. Not taking out our bags for us shows us that this looks like a first class club with third class service.

Fairways (3/5)

First impressions go a long way. After the bad service encounter, we were pretty much in a ghoulish mood as we stepped onto the first tee. And then we smiled. Nothing is more welcoming than a huge fairway looking at you in your first tee shot. Well, waking up to French toast breakfast in bed is a close second. But broad fairways are first. Especially on the first tee off of the day. Predictably, I started the day with a big push into the next fairway, but this wasn’t Monterez or Berjaya Hills, so a second shot pitching wedge over the palm trees found me near the green for a bogey start.

We played in a slight drizzle but the fairways held up quite well, hardly any casual water. But mainly we liked the whole open concept golf course. It feels a lot better than courses that narrows everything down and have OB stakes all over the place; as if golf wasn’t so hard already. This course plays more like Palm Garden without the looks, in direct opposition to narrow courses that we have reviewed; aptly named the Terrible Trio: Nilai, Nameless Course in Seremban 3 and Monterez.

Greens (2/5)

I hate temp greens. In Tasik Puteri, we were given two holes with temporary greens but at least the club informed us at the registration. In Bukit Kemuning, they didn’t even bother telling us. They just sent us on our way to the first and second tee where we were hit with temp greens, and on top of that, the 10th also had temporary greens. Eventhough I birdied the 10th, it was an asterix birdie, as a solid drive found me just 20 meters away from the ‘green’. Obviously there is no roll on these greens. Even the real greens weren’t remarkable, but we were already put off by the three unannounced temporary greens, so obviously we are already biased against the greens. All the points this course got from the fairways, they offset it with their greens.

Rough (3/5)

Getting it into the rough isn’t punishable in this course. In fact, I had a lot of drives trickle out of the fairway to the rough and still managed to shoot regulation. There are a few holes bordered with OB but overall, it wasn’t challenging enough in a lot of holes where our drives couldn’t find the fairway. The sand was reasonably maintained but due to the rain, everything was typically hard packed.

Aesthetics (3/5)

Charming. That would be how we would describe it. Of course, we had the best weather possible for golf. Slight drizzle in the morning and an absolutely fantastic weather after that. Breezy, wasn’t too humid, I don’t know what people do if they don’t play golf in this weather. It’s not a beautiful course, but the wide fairways and slight elevation makes it a course you want to walk on, it makes you look forward to the holes that are about to come. It’s something in between the boringness and wideness of Tuanku Jaafar; and the sheer prettiness of Palm Garden. A little of both.

Memorable holes? The 10th forces you to hit a dogleg you can fly over the trees; and land less than 100 meters from the hole. Unfortunately, this hole was screwed up with the darn temporary greens.

Most of the holes sport runway fairways, named such that a 747 can land with space to spare. For some mystical reason, that small little white ball can’t seem to find it!!

I got a feeling the course plays really hot if we get caught in the sun, something like Gunung Raya or the Nameless course in Seremban.

Fun Factor (4/5)

After slogging through a series of misses in our golf tour, like Monterez, Nilai and Berjaya, coming back to open areas like Bukit Kemuning was like water in the desert. Don’t get me wrong, Bukit Kemuning isn’t superb or anything; there are a lot of things that could be wrong with the course, but we just caught it on a good weather day. The greens took away a bit of fun, but overall, any golfer of any level would find this course fun. It’s not sadistic, realizing that weekend hackers are not very comfortable playing championship material course; so it sort of dials down the hazards and the toughness. Don’t you love courses that condescends you?

Conclusion

It’s a course, when done, we all had something to talk about. Different levels of golfers can recall one or two or more memorable shots that we managed to pull off. This is why I think golfers are generally delusional and optimistic. Both characteristics go together. Delusion in their own skills and how they execute shots; and optimistic when the shot is NOT executed, that it would definitely be, in the next attempt. With the wide fairways and generous rough, and the course playing shorter due to the temp greens, Bukit Kemuning is definitely a course we want to come back again for another visit.
The good: Generous and well maintained fairways; easy accessibility, near to highway; course that doesn’t beat down the golfers too much; caters to golfers of all levels; reasonable pricing and aesthetics make it a course to return to.

The bad: Bad bad management doesn’t inform us of the temp greens; unchallenging rough; terrain is flat and mainly the same style; bad service, bad handling of our golf sets!

The skinny: 23 of 40 divots (57.5%). Recommended course to all levels. It plays easier than most courses, Bangi included, because of the flat terrain and vast fairways. Easy drive will definitely put you in a good mood before and after the game.

Bukit Kemuning Score Card

kemuning1.jpg

Bukit Kemuning Information

Address:

Lot 6031, Batu 7, Bukit Kemuning
42450, Shah Alam, Selangor.

Contact: +603-51217188

Fax: +603-51216416

Website: http://www.bkgcr.com/

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Impian GCC

Introduction

Two main reasons why we joined AGN was the fact that we could play on Impian Golf and Country Club and Palm Garden. Well, OK, throw in Staffield and you got a heck of a deal: 3 premium courses for an attractive package. My previous encounter with Impian had been a positive one; and I couldn’t wait to get back to the course. I just recall that it was a beautiful course with superb greens that made your ball stick like glue.

It was in the middle of rainy season when we revisited Impian and it would be a true test on how the course hold up against megatonnes of water deposited into the Klang Valley over the period of a few weeks.

Travel (3/5)

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Travel wasn’t very near, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out where the course was. Simply get to the north south highway heading to Seremban. Turn off at Kajang will probably be the safest bet. After the toll, the road forks out to three roads: on the right, it heads to Cyberjaya (NO), the middle goes to Bandar Baru Bangi (NO) and the left goes to Kajang. Take the Kajang fork and once you’re there, you can see plenty of signs pointing to Saujana Impian. There’s where you are headed. It’s a township with plenty of signs, not only on the boards, but on the road. Any township with directions on the road is going to be important. So unless you are riding a blind elephant, you ain’t going to miss it. It’s not very deep in but still the distance makes Impian less appealing in terms of travel time. An update: Just keep following the green Saujana Impian signboards. Don’t ever turn off at the Saujana Impian ‘turnoff’. Don’t ask. It’s one of those Malaysian things where the sign board makers are basically semi literate chimpanzees.

Price (2/5)

Ah, the beauty of AGN Cards. With the card, we ended paying only RM90 for the game on a weekday. Yes, it’s quite pricey, but for a premium course, its actually cheap, and that’s inclusive of the food vouchers and the compulsory caddy (more on that later) Non AGN members have to fork out RM140, and that’s for a weekday! So unless you have an AGN card, it’s just a tad bit expensive to play, and with RM140 weekday, you can look at other courses that are nearer, possibly with better experience.

First thoughts

As mentioned, Impian left a lasting impression on me the last time I played there. I shot an 84 with 5 pars and 2 birdies, 9 birdies and only one double and one triple. It’s actually a darn good score, considering how wild I am off the tee and how crappy a putter I am. But the greens in Impian are the ones that are famous, and the previous time I played, the greens were truly an awesome sight to behold. It was like carpet; but fast, yet soft enough to hold the ball.

A wild first tee off started our round on a soggy morning and with rain slightly falling, we began our Impian experience.

Service (2/5)

Impian doesn’t score that well in this regard. For a course and for this kind of money, the facilities and equipments and maintenance are pretty good. But the caddy truly sucks. I don’t know if it’s fair to judge the club service by the caddy, but hey, it’s unforgivable. We got this lanky chap, young fellow, and us being cheapskates only decided to have one caddy per flight. Well, we are all paying for him, so he is OUR caddy right?

In our flight, we usually play with a friend of mine we refer to as ‘Dato’, in other words, a title given to someone of significance in Malaysia. It’s like ‘Sir’ as in Sir Anthony Hopkins or ‘Lord’ as in Lord Jeffery Archer or ‘Baron’ as in Sascha Baron Cohen. When you call someone ‘Dato’, it’s someone that’s more important socially than the normal golfing scum who likes to write reviews and take pictures.

As soon as we called him by his title, you can literally see the caddy’s eyes light up and he completely attached himself to my friend. So much so that when there are two balls on the green, he would pick up my friend’s ball and wipe it and leave ours there, muddied, rejected and alone. When we teed off, we were left to find our own balls while they happily moved on. I understand that yes, it’s tough to caddy for 4 people at one, but hey, punk, we’re all pitching in to pay for your miserable service, so at least, help out the others abit. When we asked him where our balls went, he would give a nonchalant response. At one hole, an easy dogleg right, I hit a flush shot that rounded the bend, and the caddy assured me it was ok. Well, we couldn’t find the darn ball and I ended up escaping with a bogey with 4 on and 1 putt.

Now, shouldn’t caddies be moving ahead of us at the bend to make sure they can view the landing area? What kind of idiot did we pay for?

It came to a point where we had to request Dato to get his caddy to help us look and clean our darn balls. Seriously, we’ve been discriminated at work enough, you know, without having the caddy play favouritism. What are we, cattle class citizens?

Oh, and caddies who smoke immediately gets the ban where I used to play. This one goes around with a ciggy in his mouth.


Fairways (3/5)

It’s slightly unfair to judge the course at this juncture, during the rainy season, but we don’t have much of a choice in giving out the fairways ratings for Impian: it’s pretty normal. Not exceptionally good, drainage was passable but still patches of water could be discerned. The fairways of Impian is a mixture of narrow ones with OB stakes and broader ones, with doglegs and elevation to confuse you even more.


Greens (5/5)

I really expected the greens to be in superb condition for some reason. Perhaps it was a little too much expectation, too much rain. Don’t get me wrong, the greens were a million times better than say Tuanku Jaafar or other B-grade courses, but in terms of a premium course with the greens as its main selling point? It’s like a movie starring Tom Cruise and you find that he really wasn’t that involved in the character. He’s still good, he’s still Tom, but he’s not up to par. Your expectations are naturally higher than if you watch a show with Dolph Lundgren playing the role of Romeo in a Romeo and Juliet B-flick remake. I mean we all know how Lundgren is Oscar material right? So, the greens were like Tom Cruise not on his best day.

It still gets a 4 because it was slick like glass. We three putted so many times I lost count. The breaks were deceiving and subtle. Many straight putts verred away at the last moment…and kept going and going and going. Tricky but on this occasion, too many pitchmarks. It looked like it was halfway undergoing maintenance.

Update: I played Impian again and this time, the greens were back to it’s excellent best. Although most of the other parts of the course aren’t spectacular, I must say, Impian greens are probably the best I’ve played on. Shots were back spinning, checking on the green, and the putts rolled true. This is what I remember from Impian! Upgrade to a 5!


Rough (3/5)

Impian rough was pretty normal; except on some holes, wayward balls were lost in a pile of leaves but I think most courses are facing this problem due to the season. We could still get out of the rough well enough. Bermuda grass are a lot easier to play on compared to my normal cowgrass experience in Rahman Putra, so on occasions, it did sit up nicely (only for me to skull the shot into oblivion).


Aesthetics (5/5)

Aside from the greens, the main reason why many people play in Impian is the beauty of it. And on this occasion, it certainly more than lived up to its name. Who can forget the treacherous par 3 12th, with carry over water? And then the stretch of holes starting from 15th to the 17th, based around the lake in Impian with the par 5 17th reachable for eagle. The course looks wide open and in some vantage points, you could see the vibrant colours of different trees and plants, and animals breaking out into songs while a rainbow shines overhead. Ok, that’s a little extreme but if you want a course that’s pretty looking, then Impian is the one for you. It’s not just all beauty either because the course packs a punch too and doesn’t play that easy. It’s a little beast if you can’t fix your wayward shots or putt like a nut. But it’s a pretty looking beast at least.

Tom Cruise, while not performing, is still quite a good looking chap. And this is what Impian is. While the greens and fairways are clearly far from their best days, the aesthetics remain one of the best in the Klang Valley.

Of course, an idiot as I am, I forgot to bring our Gilagolf official camera and ended up using a phone camera for the shots, which basically sucks. It’s ironic that on one of the prettiest courses we play, we forget to bring a proper camera. It’s like taking a photo with Catherine Zeta Jones and finding out that you only have a stupid phone camera to capture the immortal moment. ARGH!

I hope to update these pictures one day if we play again, but for now, grainy shots is what you have. Trust me, it looks a lot better than it does in these pictures.

I played Impian again and updated with proper pictures! Shot 90 on a day where I struggled with my putts.


Fun Factor (4/5)

We definitely found the course fun and entertaining. It offered some good challenges, some selection off the tee to keep it on the fairway. The rough wasn’t punishable, true, but due to the course designs, some wayward shots were blocked entrance into the green and we had to punch out for a three on or four on or 5,6,7 on or whatever. It’s a smart course that deserves some thinking, unlike Tuanku Jaafar or Bukit Kemuning where you can just blast your balls to smithereens and not worry too much about being OB or blocked. Of course, the great looking course contributed to our fun factor. Unfortunately I forgot to bring my camera and had to rely on a phone camera for the shots, so I think most likely we will be revisiting this course again, and perhaps review the review if the course plays better.

The only downside was the caddy, whom we wanted to throw into the lake, cigarettes and all. The worse of it was we still had to tip him. In reference to the stupidity of tipping caddy, I think this one should pay me back for not finding my balls and making us feel like cattle class citizens. In fact, he should grab himself and jump into the lake directly.


Conclusion

Impian was a good experience. Not great. Honestly we expected slightly more and we were ready to award it an upper tier golf course review. But somehow, likely due to the weather and the fact we had the worst caddy in the world, it falls back into the middle-uppper strata courses in the company of Meru, Tiara, Bangi and KGNS. It certainly wasn’t as bad a letdown as Clearwater was, but still, we all thought it could be played better.

The good: One of the best looking course in the Klang Valley; challenging holes that are not just long, but requires smart shots off the tee; good greens that will improve to become even better once the weather gets better.

The bad: Worst caddy in the world is here; high price, traveling is quite long; fairways were not up to par.

The skinny: 27 of 40 divots (67.5%). It’s one of those courses where you know it can be better than it is, and deserves better than rated middle-upper echelon. We will definitely return again to play on better conditions (and with a better camera), so Impian is recommended if you’re willing to fork our some $$ or join AGN.

Impian Score Card

impian.jpg

Impian Information

Address:

Bt. 14, Jalan Cheras,
43000 Kajang, Selangor

Contact:+603-87344197

Fax: +603-87348133

Website: http://www.igcc.com.my

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Kundang Lakes Country Club

Introduction

When the name Kundang Lakes Country Club is thrown to you, you really can’t help but wonder if the marketing director was fired. Say it with me: Kundang. Seriously, I don’t know what is it about that pronunciation or that name, but it just kinda makes you feel like, man, that’s a small village way out in the palm oil estates. It doesn’t roll off your lips the way Hartamas, or Kiara, or Bangsar does, you know.

But giving that it promises to be a Country Club, and having ‘Lakes’ prominently attached to its name, I suppose it was worth the try, and try to make as much use as possible my AGN privileges.


Travel (2/5)

It was quite a tough time finding a map or directions and happened to bump into a map somewhere on the net using the ever faithful google. It’s a map to the fish farm next to the golf course called Tow Foo, giving credence to the fact that the golf course is more useful as a landmark than a destination: it’s always a bad thing if a fish farm is more popular than your golf course. Especially a fish farm called Tow Foo.

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It’s actually quite easy to find, although accessing it is another story. You can turn off at Sungai Buloh from the north south highway and head to Kuala Selangor. It’s the same road you take to Rahman Putra, so from PJ side, you can access it using the Bandar Utama->Kepong road and turn off left to the spanking new highway going direct to Rahman Putra.

The easiest way is to turn off to Rahman Putra (using the flyover) and pass Rahman Putra golf club and go all the way to the end till a T junction. Take a left and follow the road. It’s a windy road, mind you and narrow as heck, so if you’re behind a truck, be prepared for a slow one. The roads aren’t good as well! It’s about 8-10 KM from Rahman Putra, going through a lot of kampung areas.

Kampung areas are perhaps the most dangerous. You knock anyone, anything, any animal and you have a whole bunch of people hunting you down. The idea is, DO NOT SPEED in a kampung area unless you have a death wish. Kampung people are very communal so if you mess with their chickens, cats or family, they will likely surround your vehicle and overthrow you. From there, you only have your 7 iron left to defend and let’s see how many you can take out before you’re overwhelmed. Your life will disappear and no one will ever hear of you again.

DO NOT SPEED!!

Price (3/5)

Well, with a price tag of RM35 for weekday under AGN, it’s about the same as Tuanku Jaafar. There’s not much to expect here but at any time a round of 18 cost only RM35 (roughly about USD10), it can’t be too bad, unless they force you to play in that heretical course called Frasers Hill. It has officially become a curse word in our vocabulary, as in, “Man, what kind of Frasers Hill course is this?” or “That hole is such a Frasers Hill, dude.” Or, “Are you Frasers Hilling kidding me?” Or, “Dang, that hole Frasers Hilled me!”.

Yeah, we can’t really get over the bad stuff, you know.

First thoughts

The clubhouse looked as if it was doubling up as somebody’s hut, so dilapidated it was. Certainly not a very good sign to begin with but we like to give clubs the benefit of the doubt. Sure you can have a crappy club house, but I imagined all the money was invested into the golf course.

Incidentally, I was wondering why it was called a Country Club when the only facilities were the golf course, a lousy range and a small terrace, presumably for food. It’s a nitpick I know but there’s a difference between a Country Club and a Golf Club. I’d expect other facilities like massage parlours to be present in a so called Country Club. Just call it Golf Club. No shame in not having anything else but golf there, you know.

Service (1/5)

The counter lady was nice enough and was quite efficient in getting you out on course. She just receives your money and in 5 minutes, you’re ready to go. Nothing much after that, except nobody will help you out in anything. You’ll look for your own turfmate (they don’t have buggies).

Turfmates are actually very cool contraptions that allows a golfer to stand while biking around the golf course. It’s like a chariot, only powered by motor instead of horses. The problem with turfmates is that it destroys the course. That was why my home club did away with turfmates completely and made only buggy strictly on track. So anytime you see a club offering turfmates, you know it’s going to struggle abit on maintenance.

The guy in charge of the turfmate was on his mobile and when inquired which turfmate, he angrily waved away, as if swatting flies. Hey, I guess they don’t really see many people in this part of the world and still revert back to their primitive, monkey gestures to get their point across.

Great service, ain’t it?

Fairways (2/5)

Kundang Lakes have cowgrass fairways; or at least, that’s what I’d like to think. It’s basically muddy and dirty due to the rain and drainage ain’t that good either. It’s a scrappy course, scrappy here designating a course that’s somewhat functional but lacks any proper wow factor in any aspects of the course. The fairways are narrow, but the first nine (creatively named Kundang), has parallel fairways so wild hitters like me are able to recover. After going through such torture from Nilai Springs and Monterez, the friendly first nine was a welcomed sight.

It gets pretty much offset by the second nine, where the fairways are narrow also, but in addition, water and other hazards litter the course, making the 2nd nine a far more difficult experience.

Greens (1/5)

The greens really suck. There’s really no other way to describe it. It’s not nearly as bad as Frasers, but patch of sand, uneven turf and bad maintenance barely squeak a 1/5 rating. Some greens are quick, others barely move the ball and the general lack of consistency makes putting slightly a bit more appealing than connecting to a live socket and have electric current pass through your body.


Rough (1/5)

If the greens are bad, the rough is definitely one of the worst I’ve ever experience. It’s not nearly as bad as Frasers in a sense that it’s not overgrown and have anacondas lurking around. But like Tuanku Jaafar, it’s a course that’s blanketed with leaves. I just missed the green on the 3rd hole and couldn’t find my ball anywhere. I also yanked a few into the rough and riding up there, found nothing but leaves, leaves and more leaves. It’s frustrating especially if you didn’t hit that bad a shot!

Aesthetics (1/5)

The thing about Kundang Lakes is that you do expect to see water as part of the feature. Say what you like about the first name, but you put a Lakes in there, we expect lakes. Instead not one drop of water was seen in the first nine (apparently named Kundang Nine) and the second nine only featured three or four holes with water (named Lakes Nine). Here’s the part I don’t get: If you name Kundang Lakes as a combination of two nines, there is no meaning to kundang, but there is meaning to lakes. Also, what if the decide to open another nine? Adopting the same naming mentality, wouldn’t they need to change their club name?!

That aside, Kundang Lakes plays very flat. Keep it on the fairway and you can pretty much cruise through this course. There’s absolutely no holes that make you go, WOW! There is almost no change in elevation. It’s like playing golf in a football field. In fact, I think it used to be a big field for cattle grazing. With no water, no elevation, nothing that really makes it stand out, Kundang Lakes comes in a generous 1/5 for beauty.

Fun Factor (1/5)

I was tempted to give it a 0. You could play yourself into a coma in this course. Excitement is kept to a bare minimum. Bad greens and fairways spoil any positive experience to be derived from it. The only fun factor you can have is crossing from the first nine to the second nine. For some extremely stupid reason, the course was built with the main road in between the two nines. When I say main road, I’m not talking about a small path ways with bumps and an occasional trishaw on it. A main road is basically the road I was speeding on. The road where a 16 wheel trailer would come barreling down without a regard for your pathetic life; the road with the blind corner and no speed bumps and cars whizzing by. You wait at the road side with your turfmate and when the coast is clear, you slam the accelerator handlebar and hope you get through before disaster strikes.

I mean, is this course seriously worth dying for?

Conclusion
We had low expectations of the course, and boy were the expectations met. The greens were in a terrible shape and the rough was a mess. What we didn’t like was the name Kundang Lakes; it just isn’t right to manipulate your name and make it sound like something you are not. This is basically a characterless course that we might possibly never return again, unless all the other golf courses are bombed out.


The good: Reasonable pricing for AGN Members, flat and featureless might be good for beginners, coupled with complete disregard to the course maintenance.

The bad: Bad fairways, roughs and greens; bad drainage; absolutely confusing naming convention, and worst of all, golfers have to negotiate death and destruction to play on the second nine.

The skinny: 13 of 40 divots (32.5%). If you are around that area, a much better place to play would be Rahman Putra. Unless you are an absolute beginner who wants to risk his neck to play here, go ahead. Otherwise, forget about Kundang Lakes.

Kundang Lakes Score Card

kundanglakes.jpg

Kundang Lakes Information

Address:

KM 28, Jalan Kundang,
48020 Rawang, Selangor

Contact: +603-60342725

Fax: +603-60342729

Posted on

Monterez GCC

Introduction

When you say Monterez, the most likely response you will get is a grimace on the face, followed by, “Short and narrow,” before the said person goes back to doing whatever he was doing. I haven’t found a person who actually liked the course a lot, and I have played a few times on that course, without much memory of it. So armed with a camera and a flaky swing, I decided to give it a try and see how it goes. I had an initial feeling that it was one of those courses that do not offend, yet do not provide the fun we deserve, taking Sunday afternoon off to play.

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Travel (3/5)

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Now that the whole stretch of road at Bukit Jelutong is built up, the easiest way is to take the NKVE and head towards the Jelutong Exit. After the toll, take the second left turning. You will pass a short par 3 course on your left. Keep going straight, stay on the left lane as there will be a sign that directs you to Monterez. Take the left turn, you will hit a traffic light and from there, a right and left will put you in the old Sungai Buloh road. You will pass a petrol station and at the traffic light, take a left and you are there. Travelling was fast. It took us only 15 minutes from the Damansara toll to the front gate of the club. It used to require a 4×4 to get through to it, but these days, the word Sungai Buloh no longer evokes memories of cannibals living off the palm oil trees and preying on the estate workers. Malaysia, at long last, is taking baby steps to civilization!

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Price (3/5)

With AGN, we paid just RM77, which could have been cheaper if we had a fourth ball. As it was, it’s a pretty reasonably price to pay for a weekend round. Without AGN, we probably need to pay about RM120 or somewhere in that region. There were no extras as well, unlike some clubs where they force you to take caddies. Especially talkative ones who can’t shut up.

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First thoughts

Monterez is probably familiar to most golfers in the klang valley area, it being one of the more accessible golf courses around and relatively short, hence quite playable. It’s a narrow course, so it’s not the best course to bring a crooky swing into, like the one I was bringing in when we played it. I knew I would struggle massively as I’m trying to hit straight shots.

Monterez derives the name from the ancient Maya civilization. I read this from their website:

“Monterez Golf & Country Club adopted the concept of Maya civilisation, renowned as one of the most advanced civilisations the world has ever seen.

The essence of these ancient traditions is reflected in Monterez’s architecture, lifestyle and culture. The traditions of an ancient world are rediscovered to create an unforgettable experience in modern leisure living.”

Actually, to a certain degree, ancient traditions of Mayans include human sacrifices via decapitation, and the removal of the heart. After that, the corpse is thrown from the pyramid where it will be skinned and worn by the priest. At the end, that poor guy would be chopped up and eaten by the spectators. I mean, I think that was how it was, according to Apocalypto. Unforgettable experience in modern leisure living? Come on, seriously. It’s marketing babble. Lifestyle? What lifestyle? It’s a golf club for crying out loud!

Nothing on the course resembles the Mayan culture. Maybe the tight fairways do make you (the ones who are extremely violent and sadistic) want to rip out the hearts of your partners, but if you expect something Mayan in Monterez, it ain’t got nothing, except for the clubhouse that looks like a wedding cake. Otherwise this is just another course, with no visible beauty and a very bad naming choice.

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Frankly, if I was given a chance, I’d put some skulls (well not human, silly, I mean goats skull) on the stakes surrounding the green, and have the course marshal randomly throw a spear at us at the tee box as part of the course obstacle. Maya culture? I’ll show you Maya culture, darn it!

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Service (4/5)

I must admit, the service was excellent. I went to register and it took me like 5 minutes. After that, in another 3 minutes we were already on the 10th tee, ready to go. No fuss, no red tape, their idea is to simply get you out onto the course and play golf. It loses a bit of points as it allows people to randomly tee off anywhere they choose. The marshals don’t seem to practice any sort of rules here.

For instance, we were about to tee up our back nine on the first when this Chinese uncle just barges in and announce they are teeing off first, since they started at the 4th. Really, who gives a darn? Chinese uncles who play golf are the worse lots. They are usually either contractors, hawkers, construction workers or retired/jobless elders who doesn’t have anything better to do than to smoke and attempt to whip a golf ball. And talk loudly. And be rude.

Chinese uncles should be tranquilize on sight or better, as the ancient Mayan culture should dictate, be decapitated and thrown into a ditch. I doubt anyone will want to cannibalise them though.

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Fairways (2/5)

Ah, the fairways.

Monterez is build with space issues, so much like the Nameless Course in Seremban 3, so the fairways are tight, narrow and full of OBs. I honestly hate courses that have OBs all over the place. I for one, was already struggling with my drive, so if we could resort to a 5 wood it’d be good, but no, the course has to put in so many holes with 170 – 180 to clear water from the tee, forcing us to go for driver. I understand that’s the course challenge, and I can hit my 5 wood about 190 m, but still a mishit will land it in the drink. I understand the course wants us to manage it, to think our way around, but seriously, most men are wired with one thought, take out the One and hit it. I’m quite smart I think in general, but when it comes to golf, I’m an imbecile. Like Curly, I’ll keep doing the one thing that gets me into trouble over and over and over and over….

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I won’t mind that much if the fairway was at least reasonably maintained, but Monterez is supposed to be a Bermuda course. Instead on the fairway, large patches of cowgrass was growing, showing a lack of maintenance on the course. It also has patches that should be marked GUR due to the mud and lack of grass but instead just left there. Definitely not up to mark.

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Greens (3/5)

The greens have two things here: bad maintenance and good contours. It kinda offsets the other. GUR should be marked in bald patches on the fringe (and we have plenty) but the large greens are a challenge to putt. It wasn’t well maintained, the grass was too long, too uneven to recognize the speed properly. The good challenge was that the greens were large, so regulation play might also mean 3 putting, thanks to the hilly contours the greens are built on.

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Rough (1/5)

Not much to say here. With the amount of OBs around this course, it’s tough to navigate for people wanting to take out their big Dog. As in the driver. Also, sand and water plays a big part on this course. Most of my holes either bombed into the sand or flirted with disaster. The bunkers were also uneven, some were wet and hard, others just kinda wispy. We’ve already decided we’re not into courses that are stingy on their spaces, and Monterez is definitely one course that’s absolutely, the epitome of stinginess.

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Aesthetics (2/5)

Elevated tee boxes do give the course a reasonably nice view of things. Also, the trees and plants surrounding the course adds to its geniality. Is it pretty? No, not really. On close up, you’ll find that the water stinks. Perhaps that’s where the Mayan tradition of body dumping comes in.

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Some holes do stand out a little; but too many holes play too similar, as if the designers have run out of ideas. In fact, the 9th and 18th plays exactly the same, except that there is OB on both sides, so you can’t borrow fairways. I borrowed twice, so I OBed both holes! It’s parallel and everything is just too similar. The par 3s are reasonably short, but the par 5s can be reached in two. In fact, the first par 5 I met, I used driver and a 6 iron and I was already next to the green. Kinda like Bangi isn’t it?

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Fun Factor (2/5)

It’s hard not to have fun when I’m with my normal group; we did play quite well. I struggled predictably with my crooked swing, but at least I scored reasonably and did get an escalation par on the first nine. The weather was great so I don’t exactly know why we didn’t have fun. I think likely, every hole lacked character. If we play Datai Bay or KGNS or Meru, there are holes you know and will remember for this and that. In Monterez, all the par 4s are like twin brothers to each other. We didn’t get any, “Wow, check this hole out!”. I know space is an issue with this course, but seriously, we didn’t find much to have the wow factor going.

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Also, I was stressed with my swing. I kept hitting into the other flights and once nearly killed the group taking their tee off on the next hole. There are hardly any borrowed fairways here, so we just got to keep it straight and long.

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Conclusion

The good: Good accessibility, great service from registration to the 1st tee off, reasonably priced golf course; challenging for accuracy and recovery; putting and bunker play must be sharpened for this course

The bad: Narrow, narrow course; loads of bunkers all over the place; stinking water harboring disease; fairways and greens are not properly maintained, OB is a constant feature and holes are basically similar to each other in design. Also, a lousy name.

The skinny: 20 of 40 divots (50%). It’s not the best choice out there, but if you’re in a hurry to finish the round on an afternoon, it’s a course to improve your accuracy golf, not your bombing. It’s a boring course, no ‘WOW’ factor, and we recommend a miss on Monterez. Unless they bring in the goat skulls on the green.

Monterez Score Card

monterez.jpg

Monterez Information

Address:

No 1, Jalan Merah Kesumba U9/18,
Seksyen U9,
40000 Shah Alam, Selangor.

Contact: +603-78465989

Fax: +603-78467881

Website: http://www.monterez-golf.com

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Subang National Golf Club

Introduction

Courses in Petaling Jaya, the satellite hub of KL, are usually expensive and often times overrated. Premier courses such as Tropicana, KLGCC, Saujana are difficult to get in, and KGNS (which stands for Kelab Golf Negara Subang) is no exception. This translates to Subang National Golf Club, in Malay language, we just need to flip everything around, like how Master Yoda speaks. It’s very easy.

It’s a long story why I am not a member of KGNS while my family is. Suffice to say, at an age of idiocy (about 18), when I could transfer my junior membership to full membership, I stoutly declared I will never play golf and gave up the membership. Six years later, I picked up the game and now there is a 10 year waiting list for the club. Unless there is a major epidemic strikes and half the golfers expire prematurely, I will never get to be a member here.

Thankfully, my brother is, and he brought me in one gloomy morning, with rain pelting on all sides.

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Travel (4/5)

Travel is a breeze. It’s right in the heart of PJ and since the review is based on accessibility, you can come in from Subang side using the federal highway, where you need to turn off before the Sunway bridge turnoff. Or from the LDP, make a U turn at Western Digital and turn left at PKNS field. It gets a minus point for the fact that the usual way to enter s either by Federal or LDP. Both highways really suck on a bad day, especially the LDP. People who built the LDP are the same ones who architected your company’s toilet, meaning, they entirely lack the expertise to build a highway. Two lanes, no emergency lane, and constant traffic floods the LDP at all times. Bottleneck is everywhere, and throw in a silly train stop on the highway and cars piled 3 – 4 deep in temporary parking, has made the LDP win the “Highway most likely to be cursed at” award.

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Price (2/5)

Weekdays is around RM120 per person, and that’s excluding buggy fees. I decided to trolley my bag around to save some money, and that’s one thing good about KGNS, they do allow walking for even the main course. Most courses forces you to take the buggy and some even the caddie, at gunpoint. Unfortunately, all the points scored by allowing walking is lost when KGNS falls into the latter category, where all guests MUST take a darn caddie along.

Now, while I do realize the benefit of a caddie in many cases, especially around the green, it’s quite annoying when you get one who can’t seem to shut the heck up. He seems to have comments on every single aspect of your game, till the point you just want to stuff the driver down his throat and tee him up with the ball. The problem is this: Not only do you need to pay for the caddie, you need to tip him as well and the going rate is around RM30 – RM40.

In this aspect, the pricing in KGNS descends into the realm of stupidity. It’s a nice old course, don’t get me wrong, but seriously, paying RM150 a round per person on a weekday? And for a course with cow grass? Well, you decide.

First thoughts

I remember playing a few times in KGNS. It was never really an enjoyable experience, much like KRPM, where functional golf was the order. I don’t really enjoy cow grass golf, and with rain for the past two days, the course was wetter by the minute.

But KGNS is steeped with tradition and that’s one of the main reasons to play it. It’s like how some people come back from playing at St Andrews and say it wasn’t much of a course, but since it’s the birthplace of golf, it’s like a pilgrimage for all golfers to try it. KGNS is absolutely no where near the magnitude of St Andrews, but still it’s one of those courses which demands respect. Whether you like it or not, you can’t insult it that much, no matter how it insults you, simply because it’s supposed to be a top tier club. Obviously, in GilaGolf, no matter how top tier you are, if it’s a lousy experience, it’s a lousy experience.

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However, the course is also championship material, with a few national opens being held there, so you know if you play well on this course you will survive in pretty much everywhere else. It demands seriousness from golfers, not your typical weekend hacker who doesn’t practice, hooks and who can’t break 100. If you birdied in KGNS, you get at least some respect, as opposed to having eagled in Bangi.

Unfortunately, I was in a midst of a swing funk when we played; and couldn’t seem to fix it, so I fall nicely into that typical weekend hacker category.

In KGNS, a swing funk is a recipe for disaster.

Service (2/5)

Frankly I didn’t really experience much of the service. I know nobody is going to help you take your bags from the car. So everything is judged by the caddie I got, an old dude by the name of Eddy. He has a mouth that can’t seems to stop jabbering and I guess I should have been careful to select any guy by the name of Eddy, Murphy, Chris, Rock or Sienfield. Giving advice is one thing. Commenting on every shot and analyzing your game is another. Why does everyone thinks they know how to fix your swing? It’s crazy. It’s as if they know you for your whole life! “Your first steps, yeah, your first word, yeah, been there. First clubs, yeah, was there. Oh I know you for so long, why don’t you do this and this to fix your swing? Trust me, I know you well. Coffee later, as usual?”

Jeez, you’re a caddy. And I don’t know you. You might play better, but why don’t you just lug the bag and give me my clubs. Save the lessons another day.

And it’s not as if he’s a single handicapper as well. I know some caddies are, and I appreciate it. I saw him swing and it wasn’t that great. As I said, I was in a swing funk at the worst possible moment; where we played with a 8 handicapper that just ran us out and killed us. Of the foursome, another guy was having a more spectacularly hard time than me, but I wasn’t playing remotely well at all, and I didn’t need a caddie to tell me that. I need some quality range time to fix my swing.

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Fairways (5/5)

Much like Tiara Melaka, KGNS experienced a flood of rain over the past days before we played it. Literally, it was raining non-stop and even raining when we played it. Miserable and soggy, we went through the whole course and the fairway was remarkable. I don’t usually rate cow grass fairways high, but the drainage was first class. No puddles or casual water at all. Aside from that, the fairways were challenging, some wide and others narrow, but the design of the course was the main challenge; doglegs to uphill greens, elevated par 3s, blind par 5s. If your drives are ok, you’ll be ok. Unfortunately I wasn’t. Aside from a par-birdie start, when I started missing fairways, my scores shot up. You need to play the fairways here, it’s unforgivable. And you can’t really take out a 5-wood except for one or two holes. Most holes are just too long. Par 3s here average out to 170-180 meters so it’s absolutely critical that you are able to hit straight playing at KGNS.

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It’s a championship course, designed for top players, so there’s no mulligan in the course design. We played it as hard as it can get, with almost no roll due to rain. And as mentioned before, hitting from cow grass isn’t all that fun.With rain, they grow like beanstalks and although the fairway was kept short, once it rolled into the rough, ain’t no way you gonna get out.

Greens (4/5)

The greens were in a very very good condition. Solid roll, and consistent and even due to the rain, reasonably fast. It was well maintained, and a few crucial putts at least gave me needed pars and a birdie. The thing about the greens in KGNS is that once you are on, you’re on. There’s really no great contours here and there. Most are relatively flat putts, so it’s not difficult as long as you get the speed right. Breaks are not usually that severe and most of the time, I overread the breaks too much. There were hardly any 3 putts, but still it was challenging just to find the green.

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Bump and run is not really the option as the cow grass near the fringe will catch your ball, so not only must your drives be accurate, anything 100 meters in or your pitching must be A grade.

None of these were working for me, and it became what I call ICU golf. I was just trying to stop bleeding all over the course.

Rough (5/5)

You want challenge?

KGNS is absolutely a killer when it comes to the rough. This course gets it right. If your drives are awry, there’s hardly a chance to come back, unless you take creative shots. The maturity of the course gives a certain imposing look in some holes. Giant ferns line the fairway. Even if you hit the fairway, you’ll need to shape some shots into the green. Course management and accuracy is vital here, and the rough is just a Punisher. Grass is thick, and most of the solution is simply punching the ball out and working your way to the green over again.

This is how a rough should be designed.

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Aesthetics (2/5)

Not much points here. KGNS, being smack in the heart of the city of PJ doesn’t boast of any nice scenery or rolling mountains or what not. It has parallel highways running around it so please don’t hook or slice the ball into the cars!

Signature hole would definitely be the par 4 18th, the ending hole that requires a solid drive down the hill which opens up to an elevated green. A good drive still requires at least a 160 meter shot in, so it’s a dramatic hole which thankfully, my game came back and I won the last two holes to stem the losses from building up.

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Par 3s here as absolutely killers. Only one of them was about 155 meters. Others are over 170, or 180 and requires absolute precision in hitting it. I blew up on a few par 3s. It’s a challenging design, absolutely but I was just playing awful and in Par 3s, you ain’t gonna recover at all.

Fun Factor (2/5)

Was it fun?

If I was swinging better, or have a caddie who would just shut up, maybe. But I did play KGNS before when I was on my good day and I never really remembered having buckets of fun at the course. Like the players who play the course, it seems like a serious place, where you hardly hear shouts of joy or frustration or the ever present curse word. Everyone seems so staidly. The 8 handicapper looks as if he’s in a coma. A nice comment on his shot only evokes a bare nod, not a grin or smile. I think everyone starts thinking they need to act like Tiger Woods when they play a good shot, which frankly to me, it’s quite anal. Enough of these snarling, ‘I am good’ competitive spirit. Heck, we just want to play the darn course and have fun after that.

If I played better, I would probably have just the tiniest more fun than I did, I think.

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Conclusion

If you want a good challenge, this course is for you. It’s probably the best cow grass course you are going to find in the Klang Valley. It’s challenging without being pretty, much like Rahman Putra, but the rough here is so much more punishable. It’s championship material, no doubt, but is it a hacker material? Perhaps not.

The good: Travel is easy, smack in the heart of PJ; greens are immaculate; fairways are nicely designed and have excellent drainage; rough is a template for all golf courses to base on, a mixture of long grass, use of matured trees and course angles to punish the wayward drive; championship course material that you can walk and save $ on the buggy fees.

The bad: Blabber mouth caddies; scenery as nice as a public toilet; stupid way for the club to force blabber mouth caddies that you need to pay to annoy you; price is steep for a cow grass course-yes it’s championship material but face it, it’s not exactly the nicest course around anyway; Par 3s are just inhumanly long.

The skinny: 26 of 40 divots (65%). A quick round of golf is great, since it is so accessible. Also, it’s must play course simply because of the history and tradition, plus the upper echelon of society gathers there. But if you want a pretty looking golf course with memorable holes, give KGNS a miss and go outside the city for nicer golf courses.

KGNS Score Card

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KGNS Information

Address:

Jalan SS7/2
P.O. Box 151, 46710 Petaling Jaya
Malaysia

Contact: +603-78760381

Fax:+603-78755267

Website:  http://www.subanggolf.com/

Posted on

Tasik Puteri GCC

Updates on the 3rd Nine

We replayed Tasik Puteri again and was forced to play the 1st and 3rd nine. Now, we’re not going to penalise Tasik Puteri for the introduction of this nine holes of pure torture, but we’d like to make a note of it. (We’re penalising Tasik Puteri for having stupid golf marshals who doesn’t understand how to service people).

As the Gilagolf theory goes: For a golf course with 3 nines, forget about playing the 3rd.

Nothing is more true here.

If you call Tasik Puteri, ask them which nine they are forcing you to play. Apparently they are pushing everyone to play the 3rd nine (the new nine just opened). If they are, forget about playing there because, pardon my french, it’s a truly the biggest piece of crap ever invented on the face of this planet. In fact, it makes no difference if you were to dip your entire head into a burning vat of oil, than to try play this sorry excuse of a course.

It’s hot like heck, because for some strange reason, they have chopped down all the trees, so exposure to sun nearly killed all of us. In fact, I lost 15 pounds of water alone. THERE IS NO SHADE. Compounding the stupidity of chopping all trees down, they make the holes extra long (a par 4 was 430 meters). I know we are good, but with a 12 noon sun beating down on you and faced with a 200 m carry over water, I’d rather poke myself with an electric baton in a bath tub filled with electric eels.

Don’t waste your time with the 3rd nine, because it has no character, no shade and no chance we will ever come back to play it.

We especially detest articles like this found in the Star newspaper, giving us more motivation to tell the truth about sh*tty golf courses in Malaysia. Check out what is said:

“Even the most avid fan of the Rawang course will admit that it isn’t championship standard. However, the new third nine, or Tasik Nine, can certainly be considered a true golfing test.”

Sure, if a true golfing test means to trudge across something resembling the Sahara, playing one stupid hole after another that looks the same, plays the same and requires at least 250 m drive to make regulation. You know what, I paid 80 bucks to play a nice round of golf, not try to survive dehydration and halucination. To heck with you, Tasik Puteri.

“So, all in all, this third nine, designed by Australian Tim Woolbank, should prove to be a stern examination of your golfing skills,”

Now we know who to whack with our 7 irons when we go Australia. Apparently this is the guy that came up with Clearwater Sanctuary as well, which was pretty crap as well, so it’s real convenient that we go and get this guy for giving us such a lousy experience on both courses.

“The third nine is now ready, and we have opened it up to golfers. However, the thousands of trees we have planted will take a little more time to mature,” said Y.P. Tan, Tasik Puteri’s director of golf, adding that the course will be in better condition for the Asian Senior Masters in October.”

Well, Mr Y.P. why the blazes did you tear down all the trees in the first place?!? Thousands of trees?? Our last count was about 5 trees. The whole area now resembles a freaking desert. And I can’t wait for the Asian Senior Masters to be played also, because these old chaps are definitely going to drop dead before even touching the 27th tee. Trust me, go there and scavenge for their clubs, because there will be only corpses left to rot in the blazing sun.

“Golfers standing on the first tee (or hole No. 19 on your scorecard) will be treated to a sweeping vista, with views of practically all the holes.”

This is a lie. If you were to stand in the middle of a public toilet seat in Chow Kit road and we level the entire KL into rubble, you will also be treated to a ‘sweeping vista’, simply due to the non existence of any obstructions to your view. You’ve chopped down all the trees, Tasik Puteri, of course you can see all the holes. Sweeping vista my foot.

“The other par-3, No. 6 (or No. 24) features an island green that plays to about 146m from the black tee.”

This is also another lie (whats wrong with you, Star newspaper??!? Can’t you get ANY report right??) because it’s measured about 170 from the black and you should be hitting a 5 iron in. Darn, they can’t even get the blasted distance right.

“The Tasik Nine has the perfect final hole to end your golf game. It’s a par-5, 485m beauty.”

No, it’s another lie. It’s not a perfect final hole. NEVER say a hole is a perfect final hole unless you’re talking about the 18th on the Augusta. The final hole is reasonably nice, but with a teh tarik coloured stream dissecting the fairway, I would be hard pressed to find it anywhere memorable. In fact, by then, most of us are already having mirages about cold iced tea than to care much about this ‘perfect final hole’. Another outright lie about Tasik Puteri!!

““This is the best time to try the Tasik Nine because we are still offering golfers our special promotional rates.,”

Sure, they obviously need to entice unsuspecting golfers into a trap. As mentioned, we’re not penalising Tasik Puteri from the original review, the Gilagolf has put up a warning sign; if you need to play at Tasik Puteri, avoid the 3rd nine or face death under the blazing sun!!

Now on the original review:

Introduction

I’ve heard quite a fair bit about Tasik Puteri Golf Club and thought of just giving it a try, since one of my vendors wanted to buy a few of us a game. Tasik Puteri means Princess Lakes (or something to that effect) so I expect a wet affair right from the tee. From the word Lakes, not Princess, you cretin. Like some of the courses we’ve played-Meru Valley, and the more forgettable Paradise Valley-Tasik Puteri is located within a town ship as part of a feature for the residents there, bolstering up, I suppose the value of the property in that area, enticing more people to buy property that they can ill afford, and generally pushing Malaysia into a developed nation and a military powerhouse. Hey, I’m a golf hacker, not an economist.

Travel (3/5)

To get there, you need to get on the north south highway and take the Rawang turn off. From there, take a left turn at the traffic light (not heading into Rawang town) and just follow the old trunk road. There’s hardly any development on this road, so you will be traveling quite a bit and might find yourself stuck behind a huge trailer and not be able to pass. You’ll see occasional signs that point to Tasik Puteri Golf Course, but the directions aren’t very good so keep an eye out for the signs, but for heaven’s sakes, don’t crash into anything because it’s a single trunk road and you’re going to cause a massive traffic jam. You don’t want to be chased around a palm oil plantation by angry golfers wielding their 7 irons, now would you? So be careful!!

You’ll need to turn off into Bandar Tasik Puteri and from there, go quite deep into the township to finally see the resemblance of a golf course. Turn in and you’ll be greeted by a very nice club house, with friendly caddies to handle your bags for you.

Price (2/5)

Tasik Puteri is not cheap. On weekdays, its RM90 per person and RM25 for a compulsory caddie. On the weekends (which we played on), we needed to fork out RM150 per person, with caddies optional. You might want to fork out extra for the caddie, as we will soon find out. There are quite a lot of blind corners and yardage is of utmost importance. The Tasik Puteri caddies are all women, and quite popular to some golfers, I suppose for extra activities outside of golf, but I won’t speculate on that. There were some reports on how caddies would break up a family sometimes, or that husbands spend too much time on the golf course, enticed by these lady caddies.

Seriously, they are not exactly the mythical Sea Sirens you know. Most of them are so caked with make up, they resemble geishas in feudal Japan, but hot Zhang Zi Yi they ain’t. They are reasonably pleasant looking, the same way a loaf of bread is reasonably nutritious but for a man to break up his family for a girl who can speak only roughly six words of English, wears a caddie uniform and hangs at the back of a buggy for life as we drive wildly around the course: that man has to be either extremely desperate or extremely blind. Can you imagine this conversation:

Man: I want to leave you now, wife, you can have our 3 million RM home, our Mercedes and our 3 splendid kids studying to be a doctor, a pilot and a lawyer specializing in divorce settlement.

Wife: Who is it? Who is this woman?

Man: Ummm….it’s a caddie at this golf club of mine.

At this point, stunned silence by wife followed by uncontrolled laughter and the realization how much a loser her husband is. She takes everything, he becomes insolvent and lives with the caddie working at the clubhouse for 400RM a month.

Can you imagine that actually happening? At least, if you want to mess up your life, mess it up with dignity. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it sounds a little more dignified to say, “Oh, I had an affair with Ms World, and Ms Universe” as opposed to, “Umm, yeah, I had an affair with Caddie Number 42 at this club. Oh, wait, was it number 33? Darn it, they all look alike!”

Anyways, since we are all cheapskate golfers, we want to save up a bit and went on to tee up without any caddie. Or any complications attached to that.

At RM150, it’s a reasonable weekend rate, and this is one of the more attractive course we played in. What we didn’t like was the fact that they had a couple of temporary greens being done. The rule here is, if there’s sandy greens, temporary greens or any kind of maintenance to the course, hey slash your rates. You gotta be honest with your customers, you know. Gunung Raya, a relatively crap course compared to this, and Clearwater, at least had the decency to inform and to discount us before hand. We were a little surprise to face temp greens on the first and second and not at all amused that we had to fork out full rates on it. It’s like buying a bottle of coke, to find it filled up with half coke and half soy sauce, and get charged for the coke. Darn it!!

First thoughts

Weekends here are packed. You’ll need to call up in the beginning of the week to get a good tee time. Unfortunately we got caught by a tournament and nearly lost our tee time because I didn’t pick up their confirmation call. With much persuasion, they relented and gave us an 8:50 tee time. We only really teed it up at 9:15 am or so.

We teed up on the front 9 and Tasik Puteri is more like Tropicana, in terms of the layout. It’s very short if played from the Blue Tees, so for a challenge, some testosterone charged golfers might tee it up at the black tees, that plays about 300 metres longer, and good for wagering-whether on money or caddie, although the latter is not recommended.

But it was a good feeling, standing on the first tee and letting rip a drive down a spacious fairway. It’s by no means easy, even if it’s short. There are OB stakes left and right, just like Tropicana and that’s why having the eyes of a caddie would significantly help reduce the number of lost balls. Actually, that’s speculation. I have no idea how good the caddies in Tasik Puteri are; I’m assuming they are reasonably adequate since most flights have a caddie.

Service (2/5)

Right when you pull up to the shaded club house, you’ll be greeted by a host of lady caddies (this word seems to be used a lot in this review), coming to take your bags out and welcoming you with a smile. Definitely a welcomed change compared to say, Paradise Valley where a guy resembling Gholum limps up to your car with a ciggy in his mouth and demands you to pop your boot. Service also gets a thumbs up because I’ve actually lost my tee time and they were kind enough to reinstate it (admittedly after much persuasion and promises to return). They put us almost an hour later, but at least we get to tee up the ball. The food there was pretty good as well and the club house was first class. We sat at a table overlooking the range, under an archway in the open air, like some druglords in a Spanish hacienda. Other amenities were slightly lacking, like how they put us in a changing room where everyone faces each other. Admittedly we’re all guys, but come on, I admit I still get a little uncomfortable if I see another guy striding around with his dongle for all to see.

UPDATE!!

It’s quite rare that we make changes to the original ratings after playing a golf course again but Tasik Puteri gets a hit. We’re downgrading this club from a 4 to a 2 in service. We replayed this club and this time was moved to the play the 1st and 3rd nine. We are not going to rate the 3rd nine, because our theory holds true. FORGET ABOUT PLAYING THE 3rd NINES on golf courses with 3 nines.

Anyway, concerning the service, after struggling like cows in the Serengheti playing through the 3rd nine, I asked a Marshal, the tasik puteri chap who was in charge of caddy distribution for the new nine score card. This is because when we made the turn, the starter hut had no scorecards (and no starter, probably he had died of thirst) This chap rudely waved me away without even looking, while grunting something under his breath. Now, while we understand he has an extremely stressed out job thinking of which caddy to attach to which golfer, we are not quite ready to forgive the lack of respect even to golfers who had stumbled in looking like fried lobsters from the sun. We’re slapping Tasik Puteri with a 2/5 because of this lousy chap who doesn’t know how to service people properly. What an idiot!

This is a real pity, because due to one fellows disregard for service, Tasik Puteri has dropped from the Gilagolf Must Play category to the mediocre Not too Shabby category.

Fairways (3/5)

The fairways are Bermuda, and very similar to the fairways we get at Bangi. I think there was a good mixture of broad and enticing fairway, wide enough to land a plane on, and fairways requiring a tighter approach. The course favours the swing that draws, except hole one, where you can run out of fairway and land on tough hard mud. Generally, the drainage and maintenance was good, well cut grass, but still a little lacking in terms of consistency. Some holes I remember lobbing in with my Sand Wedge and just completely slided under it and went like three quarter of my predicted distance. The fairways are also generally flat until you hit the second nine, where you’ve got some elevated greens to deal with. I didn’t quite like their yardage. Somehow, some holes played nearer than what was predicted, and some holes longer than usual. I remembered hitting a 9 iron into a 130 meter par 3 at the 14th and like the par 3 nightmare at Meru, deposited 2 balls into the water, short of the green. Again, if we had the benefit of the caddie, it would have saved us much angst around the course. But then again, it would really not be us now would it?

Greens (2/5)

Green speed was a nightmare. In a good way. This just proves that we don’t rate stuff as low just because it kills us and we don’t really enjoy it. Even on the practice green we knew the putts were really rolling fast. Take away the two temporary greens, the normal greens were well maintained and manicured. The fringe looked deceptively short, but it catches the ball so you’ll need to play it with more loft and land on the green. Balls played low and running (my style) will seriously have a hard time here because it just runs away. Couple that with the undulating greens and a wager, and you have very testy putts. I three putted from 6 feet twice, and just contributed to a super frustrating afternoon on the green. It doesn’t catch your ball the way Meru or Impiana does, but it’s reasonably soft.

Mediocre putters like us (ok, ok, I’m a lousy putter!) will lose 4-5 strokes to the course all due to those short putts, due to the speed and the breaks to it.

We definitely would rate the greens higher but we still can’t get over the fact of the temporary greens situation. Apparently we found out that the ‘temporary’ has been the story of this course for a long time, and that is the major complaint. Call first and check and try to get them to charge cheaper!

Rough (3/5)

The rough in Tasik Puteri is penalizing but not cruel, like Paradise Valley or sadistic, like Frasers. I did hear the occasional rustling of snakes but did not see any, and thankfully, the course played quite wide in the fairways and OB was pretty much in play so I didn’t really spend a whole lot of time in the rough. Even if you do hit the rough, you can dig yourself out of it. Bunkers however weren’t very well maintain, with rocks in it that kills your clubs. You want to avoid greenside bunkers (as if we want to hit it in the first place) because its usually a very testy shot to pull off, and will rack up your score and make you look bad. You skull the ball and water awaits you the other side of the green. I ended up with 3 triple bogeys due to tough recovery shots!

Aesthetics (3/5)

There were quite a number of memorable holes in Tasik Puteri. 16 out of 18 holes has water features, and the one that does not have requires precision hits. It has an index 1 as a second hole (a strict no no) but due to the temporary greens, a good drive only required a 60 metre shot into the green. I played one OB, 3 off the tee, 4 on and two putted for double. Rats!

I tripled bogey 2 par 3s, mainly due to the water surrounding it. Hit one into the bunker and you better get the next shot proper. But the par 3 17th is a beautiful hole, elevated tee shot with a view of the entire golf course and a green down below, about 190 meters away. It’s highly intimidating because water awaits you on the right, which one of my partners pushed into. I hit a risky draw that landed on the front and two putted for par. It’s a hole you want to take pictures of.

Beyond the holes, the water makes the course very lively. Instead of the still and murky waters of Paradise Valley, Tasik Puteri designers were smart enough to put fountains to churn the waters and provide more live to it. I mean seriously, comparing those two courses were like comparing the current Arsenal first 11 vs the current Malaysia first 11. Malaysia’s like ranked, what? 1000th in the world in terms of football, behind the war torn nation of Zakathstan, which only have 16 people overall population, and only 2 able bodied men there? Malaysia Boleh!

Unfortunately, Tasik Puteri scores lower due to the stupidity of design at hole 14 and hole 15. We were putting at hole 14 and suddenly this red ball comes zinging from nowhere and lands on the green. At first, we wanted to snap in our shotguns to have a shootout with the flight behind but looking around we saw we were right next to the driving range. I’m serious. Anyone that hooks a little from the range will hit us. There is no NET! None! What is wrong with them? Can’t they just fence up the range instead of subjecting people putting on 14th or teeing up on 15th to the most harrowing experience of their life, by ducking incoming red balls from the sky?

And which sadistic designer would design two holes right next to the driving range? Doesn’t he realize how dangerous it is to provide 100 balls to a Malaysian and completely nothing between him and a few others teeing up on the course? If he’s on the range, he’s either

  1. Working on his game
  2. Really pissed off and wants to release some tension

For A, he’s probably struggling and will start hooking his balls and proceed in killing a few golfers at the tee box. For B, he’s probably so far gone and boiled up, the moment he sees someone enjoying themselves on the course with a good putt or drive, he’ll start realigning himself like a WWII turret and let fly as many balls as possible at the offensive golfer who just celebrated. Take that, you lucky twit who just hit a good putt/drive! <Evil Laughter>.

Come on, Tasik Puteri, have some brains in the design, please.

Fun Factor (5/5)

Did we have fun?

Heck, yeah.

I’m not too sure about the flight in front though.

It all started when one of my flight mates accidentally made off with the other flight’s golf bag, (which was the same brand) and had to be chased and called back. He also accidentally took the glove as well and had to gingerly hand it back to them with apologies.

Then we were all playing happily when I hit a drive on the par 5 4th that sailed closed to 260 meters out in the fairway. I had about 180 to go (now I realize) but at that time, from the markers, I thought it was about 210, 220 meters out. I took out my hybrid 22 degrees and let it ripped. It was hit so flushed that as it sailed through the air, zeroing into the green where the flight was just putting, only two thoughts came sequentially to mind.

1. “Wow! What a shot!”

2. “Oh, crap.”

I didn’t even call because I never expected the ball to reach. It hit the green about 3 feet from a guy in red shirt and spun about 15 feet away from the hole.

Expletives followed and I had to rush to apologise.

They weren’t too amused, to say the least and the face of that guy was as red as his shirt.

I must say, it was entirely my fault, and it was a good thing I wasn’t killed in the process but this was the first time I almost killed another golfer, so admittedly I missed my eagle and settled for a birdie.

Hole 10, my flight mate let rip a super tee shot and while it’s still up the air, who comes out of the trees at about 230 metres but the guy in red. It lands like 5 feet from him and nearly kills him. Again. Expletives followed.

I mean, at that time, even though we were having so much fun, we were thinking of just calling it a day and quitting. Not because we were scared of the flight in front, but it was seriously not fun to almost kill people twice, and the same guy!! I mean, how much insurance do you want me to buy? And why is it that our ball was zeroing on the guy in red? Does he resemble a front pin placement?

There was no shootout at the club house after the game, we all made peace and proceeded on with our individual golfing life, thank goodness.

Conclusion

Aside from the near murder incidents, Tasik Puteri is a fine course and very much recommended. It’s short, but it makes up for it with a whole lot of water, so you better hone your bunker shots and par 3s and approach shots properly. Is there repeated playability? Yes, we definitely want to come back to the course again and hopefully play it better, now that we know the course a little better. It’s not too far from the beaten track and once you’re seated at the clubhouse verandah with a coconut drink and nasi lemak to start your day, you’ll know it’s all worth it.

Avoid paying for caddies if you’re a little tight with cash, like us, but if you can afford it, caddies might help in terms of yardage and definitely in terms of putting which is diabolical at some holes.

Just make sure you play golf and don’t end up complicating things with Caddie 42. Or 33. Or whatever.

The good: Well designed holes, greens very well maintained and course has good risk-rewards interchanges. Drainage is very good, considering the amount of water. Par 3s are aesthetically beautiful and also deadly, like Elektra, the ninja woman; par 5s are reachable, just make sure you do not, I repeat, do not kill someone there.

The bad: Temporary greens should have pushed price lower or should have been informed: Tasik Puteri takes a hit for dishonesty! At 5900 meters, might be too short for some, and not so challenging. Stupid design at 14th and 15th next to range. Yardage is ridiculously off, perhaps motivating you to pay for caddie instead, some blind holes makes water really come in play, as well as the itinerant golfer dressed in red, strolling down the fairway. Aim for him and get extra points.

The skinny: 25 of 40 divots (62.5%). Due to the accessibility and aesthetics, this is a course that’s highly recommended for a relaxed round of golf, even if it plays a little easier, and have people hitting balls onto the green while you are putting.

Tasik Puteri Score Card

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