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Bad Golf, Here We Come!

For those who know me, I am one of those golfers that are incorrigibly bad at golf for the very reason that I rank aesthetics and looks above performance and money. Let me explain. If I had half a brain that works for golf, I would know that as a 12 – 14 handicapper, I have no way in high heaven or seven hells that I can ever play with a club that is designed for pros or at the very least single handicappers. I used to have cavity Taylormade and when I had the chance to grab a Mizuno MP-54, I grabbed it even though my game suffered like a mad cow slowly being split in half by a rusty drill. Then, I saw an MP-57, which makes it even much much more hard to hit seeing that the 57 was a much older tech compared to the 54. I went and buy it and used it and the cycle of pain continues.

For a driver, I went for testing, and even the fitter told me, SIM Max is suitable for you , as your drives are all at least a bit predictable. I said No. The SIM looked like a club that has gone through a pyschedelic makeover after taking too much drugs and seeing talking barstools – meaning – it’s way too colorful and busy for me. I want my clubs to be the absolutely boringest piece of equipment ever. And so, Titliest would be the one. Frustrated, the fitter then said, OK, there is the Tsi2 which has good CG at the back and I was hitting it OK as well. I said, No. The shape looks like me after having one of my durian binge , with the bulging head shape like my stomach. I want the classic pear shape of the Tsi3. Does it fit my swing? Who cares? It looks awesome!

So here we are, a few days before the Mizuno 221,223 and 225 was announced, I sort of knew that the old version MP20 was going to be unavailable by the golf stores. I called up my fitter and asked him about the MP20. He said, the entire Malaysia was sold out already and MST was preparing for the new Mizzies. But he added, that there was a faulty set available in Penang, that was the last of its kind on this God loving country.

I said Faulty? He said, there were aesthetic dings and scratches, but nothing that affected performance. It’s a Mizuno. Dings and club chatter is PART of the Mizuno lore because of its blardy softness. A Mizuno without this is like a car without a wheel. I said, OK, bring it on, with the discounts – but was still very pricey; and I was then looking at an available MP-5 for almost 60% of the price.

But come on – MP20?

I knew I couldn’t play it. If there was a MP 20 HMB set available, maybe that would be a lot more suitable for me. But MP20 MB blade? It’s like dating Scarlett Johansson. You know, you just ain’t good enough and everyone will be looking at you and go, “How the hell did this loser end up with her?” The MP20 is Scarlett. In fact, I will name my set Scarlett.

Come on.

Say it, it’s f-ing gorgeous. Its even reflecting my big, fat, bald forehead.

Can I hit it?

Hell, no. No, no no.

I’ve played a few 9 holes with it. And last week had my first 18 with this set, in Palm Garden. Shot an 88 – which you would think its pretty ok, but I hardly used my MP-20s. I had a few here and there, chunked my 9 iron once, mishit a few times very badly. This MP20 is like a wife – if you did something wrong – she lets you know and she lets the entire world know about it. You hit it fat? Your 9 iron goes into the water. You thinned it or you missed the center by a hairline? Too bad, your 7 iron now looks like a flaccid p-nis that goes 80 meters only. But the moment you pure it – and it happens occasionally, as in very occasionally – that feeling gets you uncomfortably high. Like as in, you go, WTF is this intense feeling of pure orgasm in the middle of the golf course surrounded by 3 other guys?

No, the 88 was down to some great chips, some great 3-wood, hybrid and some wondrous putting using the left-hand low style. If I had my irons working for me, I would have probably shaved 3 – 4 strokes and at least played to my damn handicap. But I wouldn’t have the MP20s.

So there you go – welcome to bad golf but with a set that is completely unsuitable to the game but so damn pleasing to the eye.

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Golf House and Kota Permai

Golf house is closing down.

Or at least I think it is.

We headed over to One Utama outlet this week and managed to get the following:

a) 1X Regular 10.5 917 D2 Titleist Driver

b) 1X Stiff 9.5 917 D2 Titleist Driver

c) 1X Mizuno S5 54 Degree Wedge

d) 1X 818 H1 23 Degree Hybrid Titleist

e) 1X Taylormade 22 Degree Hybrid M4

f) 1X 917 F2 3 Wood Titleist

g) 1X Adipower Golf Shoes

h) 4X Mizuno Golf Shirts

i) 1 X Adidas Golf shirts

j) 2 X Mizuno golf long pants

k) 1 X Mizuno Carry Golf Bag

l) 1 X TaylorMade MG Wedge 60 Degree

m) 1X 915 F 5 Wood Titleist

Total = RM3,265.00

Yes, read it again. That’s 2 drivers, 2 Wedges, 2 Hybrids, 2 Woods,  1 Bag, 5 Shirts, 2 Pants, 1 Pair of Shoes. All brand new

Drop the mic. Of course, not all was mine, these were combined with the other guys as well.

And we were late to the party. Others have cleared out the PINGs, the Callaways, the Taylormades, all putters were GONE. GONE. So I could have ended up stockpiling a lot more stuff but couldn’t.

So were these useful?

Now remember, the above purchase were ALL UNNECESSARY. Totally UNNECESSARY.

I am playing superb golf already with my Cobra Driver and my old clubs, hitting 80 the last time out to Mines.

We are what we term as itchy backside.

So I dumped all the clubs I was playing superb with, and switched and went to Kota Permai.

Using the 9.5 D2 Titleist Driver, I completely sucked. It was so difficult to adjust to it after going with the more regular, lofted and bigger head of my Cobra. But when I did contact this Titleist, as in 2 – 3 instance, my God, it was a monster. Low, boring trajectory, at one Par 4, I was literally only around 30 meters from the green after the drive. I was thinking of PUTTING.

But the misses were all right and bad. This means I am not squaring my clubface fast enough – could be moving too fast and my clubhead is too slow due to heavier and stiffer shaft. I think.

Do I like this driver? Honestly I prefer my wonderful Cobra, and I knew I should have stuck with a 10.5 regular, but this Titliest 9.5 Stiff was fitted with a Aldila Rogue Max Shaft and was the last one in the shop. How NOT TO BUY?!?

Aside from that, I took the F15 5 wood out for a test as well. Meh. Just reinforces why I don’t use 5 wood anymore. In fact, the Golf House sale, there was one thing in abundance – 5 WOODs. Nobody uses them anymore. Hybrids have replaced them.

I also gamed the MG Taylormade 60 degree to replace my extremely old Cleveland wedges. WOW. This is the best purchase I have. The Milled Grind Taylormade needs to be getting used to, but the balance was great. I was using it ALOT, for all my bunker shots, for all approach inside 90m. It’s a great club and I purchased the last 60 degree of this sucker. Looks wise, it doesn’t compare to the Titleist or Cleveland wedges – it’s not the black or oil can finish I prefer my wedges in, but hey – time to change!

So overall, I need to game my Titleist Driver more. I remember switching to my Cobra also took around 3 – 4 rounds before I actually got to controlling it. But the Cobra always had a high trajectory. If I can get this D2 under control, with the trajectory and distance I am seeing, I am going to eat up some courses.