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Golf Sabattical – England – Part 2

Continuing some travel monologue in England:

5. Stay at a small town

England is littered with small towns here and there. One of the destinations we had was a place called Dorchester, right in the heart of Dorset. Dorchester doesn’t have too much to do, not unless you are a Thomas Hardy fan. Who? Thomas Hardy? Ain’t he the guy from the movie Inception and the Warrior?

No, that’s Tom Hardy. Thomas Hardy is a dead poet and literary figure who wrote books like The Mayor of Casterbridge, Tess of D’ubervilles, Far from the Madding Crowd etc.

Quite a guy. Basically, he based his stories on a fictional place called Wessex, which itself is based on the landscape around Dorset, so he’s pretty popular around this region. As it is, aside from hacking golf courses, I’m a big fan of his books, which incidentally taught me more about writing and speaking English than all the 10 years of education in the Malaysian school system, both primary and secondary.

So anyways, Dorchester is actually what Thomas Hardy calls Casterbridge is his novels. There’s a walk around town for all the relevant buildings and landscapes used in his stories. It’s quite a yawnfest unless you are a Thomas Hardy fanboy like me.

6. Stay at an Inn

Or a B&B. We chose one of the oldest hotel in town because I wanted to do the walks, but if you like, stay at a cottage B&B to experience English countryside.

7. Visit a church graveyard

It might sound dark and sinister, but we went to visit the burial site of Thomas Hardy (well, I did, dragging my wife along). We weren’t supposed to enter (for clergy only), but we unlocked the gate and strolled through anyway and took photos of the Hardy graves. Not your idea of a typical holiday, ain’t it?

8. Take a stroll in the woods

English countryside experience is not complete until you take a walk in the woods. Late Autumn, early winter is especially pretty, with the trees shedding their leaves all over the trail; the summer crowd all but gone; we didn’t see a single person in our half hour walk through the woods. Back in Malaysia we would be fearful of thugs coming to rob us.

9. Visit Hardy’s Birthplace

Only if you’re a fan, that is. I completed the pilgrimage to Dorset by visiting his birthplace, his grave and his home where he would write his books. It’s easy being a fan of a dead guy who writes poems and novels a 100 years ago….there is very little competition and restrictions!

10. Visit the Naked Giant of Cerne Abbas

Cerne Abbas. This is where you have the naked fertility giant chalked into the hills by ancient tribes. The story goes that even today people would illegally go into the hills where the chalk giant’s big dongle is and have sex in order to get kids. It’s weird. But the giant is really a sight to see.

Unfortunately due to the fog, it was tough to make out, so I took the liberty of going into the village and taking a close up of one of the souvenirs:

There you go. It’s hilarious.

11. Have English Cream Teas

You won’t get anything better back home. Go to any small village and enter a tavern, or a cafe and have the cream teas, which is like a value meal with tea, scones, butter bread and additional english condiments. It tastes amazing, and I don’t even like scones.

12. Head to Bath

Bath is one of the best towns west of London. It’s steeped with Roman history and of course, the famed hot springs for Spa and Bath, from which I suppose it derived its name. It’s a bit jammed up in Bath though, and the streets are horrendously confusing. Also, parking sucks there, so be careful. We found this excellent B&B called Three Abbey Green, which is simply great value for money stay. It’s located in it’s own little section in the town with cobbled streets, surrounding a giant tree. It’s pretty cool.

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Golf Sabattical – England – Part 1

Every once in a while, there comes a time where we actually go on a holiday without golf on the agenda. It’s difficult to imagine, yes, but there you go. To England, near the birthplace of golf and absolutely no golf played at all. I suppose there is no relevance at all to this blog, but since I don’t have any other blogs for my non golf buddies (actually curious family members) to go to, I’m just piggy backing this to explain to them that I actually DID NOT play any golf, even though I was presented with the opportunity to go ‘punting’, as the local Oxfordians would call it.

So what does it take for a reasonably cheap, and quick trip to England?

1. Get out of London

This seems like a curious decision, but you can’t experience England if you spend most of your time in London. It’s packed, it’s full of Asians, it looks like any other city except for the cramped underground trains and cold weather. Take a car and get out to the countryside. If you have limited time, go to the southwest of England like we did, or the southeast. North of England is a little too long a road to travel.

2. Get a good car

England loves manual cars, maybe because they don’t have traffic jams like we do. Actually they do, and it will get 1000x worse when the Olympics roll in next year. In fact, many Londoners are predicting the 2012 Olympics to be a utter and complete disaster due to London’s crappy metro and horrendously packed trains. Anyways, get a good solid car to head out into the country. We chose the solid looking Peugeot 3008 Diesel. It’s a GREAT drive this one.

3. See Castles

Castles are to England what Wats are to Thailand. You simply can’t go England without at least seeing one castle, preferable one in ruins and offering some really good pictures. Castles are embedded in England’s history; from the Arthurian Legends to Robin Hood to Rapunzel.

You can delve into the history of England with related courses from various Online Colleges.

But for us, who suck at learning, we took the practical route and headed west of London, we took the road to Dorset and came across this place called Isle of Purbeck, and there, Corfe Castle. It’s pronounced “Corf”, not “Corf-fee” which we were happily pronouncing until a local guy corrected us. Anyway, it’s a pretty amazing place. They say this was where Enid Blyton based her Kirrin Castle from the Famous Five books, from. No, Enid Blyton is not a golfer. She’s a children’s writer.

4. See the coast

England has some of the most amazing coastal lines you’re ever going to see. The southwestern part offers the Jurassic Coast, spanning hundreds of miles of wild English countryside. The South east offers the white walls of the Cliffs of Dover. You ain’t seen England till you see the coasts.

As we were in the southwest and pressed on time, we headed over to Lulworth Cove, which is one the most picturesque place in England.

We caught it on a nice day, especially in the traditionally gloomy mid-November. It’s a horse-shoe shaped cove offering some spectacular viewpoints into the English Channel. From there, it’s about a mile hike to another of England’s coastal offering, Durdle Door.

of course, being Malaysians, we opted for the short drive over to Durdle Door from Lulworth Cove. We caught it during sunset which gave some great views.

I took a hike up to the highest and farthest point of Durdle Door. From outer space, this would be where I was.

You basically look out and you see this:

To the left and right, you see this:

Actually, it’s not really advisable to climb there, as recently there was a death where some intrepid tourist, no doubt looking for the best camera shot of his life, plunged hundreds of feet into the waters below. It’s quite dangerous once the winds blow up there, so I had to be a little careful I don’t join him into the surf below.

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Where were you

11 am , 11 Minutes and 11 seconds on the 11 of November 2011.

Stuck in a meeting indoors, management update.

Instead of playing golf.

Which lucky flers were out on the course?

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The Greatest Hacker

We love it when Pros self-destruct.

But John Daly hasn’t been a pro for a long time, and it’s certainly getting to be a norm where he starts brain farting and blasting balls after balls into the lake.

What a character. But is he good for the game?

And I don’t know why there is no “John Daly Meltdown Wiki” up yet!

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Top Premier Voucher Giveaways

Ever since this blog started, Gilagolf has a treasured history of giving away free stuff. Since the Season for giving is so near at hand, and we only have a few more weeks left to our precious 2011, the vouchers we will likely not be using will be released into the wilderness of Gilagolfers.

Let me know gilagolf78@gmail.com if you are interested, in which voucher and how many. Will let you know if still available.

Also, collection point will be @BU Center Point, or at the BU Driving range, preferably out of office hours. I don’t think the generosity extends to driving over to Setia Alam to give you guys the vouchers, even if you are really and truly appreciated to read this blog. Sorry la, petrol expensive…:)

Golf Course Type Available
Tasik Puteri Weekend (PH) – tee off after 12 pm RM105 nett, caddy compulsory @ RM42 2
Tiara Melaka Sundays – After 12 pm RM75 2
Orna Weekdays – Free greenfee

Saturdays before 12, Sundays (PH) after 1 – RM100

 1

2
A Famosa Weekdays – Free Green Fee

Sunday (PH) after 1 – RM 130

 2

2
Ayer Keroh Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends after 12 – RM100

 2

2
Bukit Banang Weekdays – No green fee

Weekends  until 2:30 pm – RM100

 4

2
Orchard Golf Johor Weekdays – No green fee

Weekends – RM105

 4

2
Daiman 18 Weekdays – No green fee

Weekends – RM120 after 12

 4

2
Harvard Golf Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM60 after 12

 4

2
Kulim Golf Weekdays – No green Fee 2
Permaipura Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM63

 2

2
Taiping Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM70

 4

2
Era Golf and Country Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM95

 2

2
PD Golf and Country Weekdays – No green Fee 2
Royal Pam Springs PD Weekdays – No green Fee 2
Awana Kijal Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM100

 4

2
Green Acres Golf Terengganu Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM70

 4

2
Awana Kijal Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM100

 4

2
Maran Hill Weekdays – No green Fee

Weekends RM60

 4

2
Bukit Unggul Weekdays – 63 Nett

Weekends RM94.50 after 1

 4

3
Bukit Kemuning Weekdays – 78 Nett 5
Awana Genting Weekdays – 71 Nett

Weekends RM135.50

 4

2
Port Klang Weekdays – RM39.75

Sundays (PH) after 2 PM RM82

 2

2
Tanjong Puteri Golf Weekdays – RM65

Weekends RM150

 4

2
Penang Golf Weekdays – RM75

Weekends RM120 after 12

 2

2
Bukit Jawi Weekdays – RM128

Weekends RM168

 4

2
Mountain View Weekdays – RM70

Weekends RM120 after 12

 2

2
Clearwater Weekdays – RM80

Weekends RM180

 4

2
Seremban 3 Weekdays -RM53

Weekends RM78

 2

2
Berjaya Hills Weekends RM120 after 1 2
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Rich people say the darndest things

Of course, the big story this week was Stevie Williams shooting off his HUGE gap again. I’m beginning to seriously dislike this guy, not because he keeps tramping off Tiger, but because he’s an idiot. Who happens to be really rich.I mean who in their right barnacles would actually say this:

“”It was my aim to shove it up that black arse—”

Concerning why he celebrated so much with Adam Scott won the Bridgestone Invitational.

I mean, seriously?

He later went on to say: “I now realize how my comments could be construed as racist. However, I assure you that was not my intent.”

Race is an obvious issue, even among normal Saturday golfers. We’re still very careful not to cross the divide by racial slurs. Not strangely, when our own race slurs ourselves, it doesn’t appear as racist, because we’re that race. But when the other groups slur us, we get all flustered up. And trust me, even in golf, there are plenty of innuendos out there that I’m sure gilagolfers know about…and it’s all done in fun. That doesn’t make us racists, it just makes us ignorant buffoons who stereotype alot on the golf course….and sometimes, even with close friends of different races, we sometimes cross that divide, but with the understanding that it’s all in fun.

But Steve Williams? Man, he takes the cake. You can see the vengeance he has against Tiger, who paid him 10 Million USD over his career with him. I mean, why must he use the word ‘black’? Doesn’t he realise the only people who can use colour to describe something is people of that colour? The only conclusion is that either he’s a genuine IDIOT, or he’s been paid a lot to drum up the tension for the president’s cup to hike up the ratings for a Tiger vs Adam Scott showdown. Poor Adam scott. If he wasn’t so filthy rich, I would have pitied him.

Anyway, here’s the top 5 racist meltdowns in sports:

1. John Terry

He apparently called Anton Ferdinand a Black C**t. It’s not proven, so it might be or might not…but, I mean here we go again, why on EARTH must he add that colour description in there? Has he been heading too many footballs and his brain has been finally reduced to rubble? John Terry, because of his recent affair with is best mate’s wife, is probably not the greatest guy to be around, so with his spotted history, he’s likely to spin off some racist remark as well. Verdict: Guilty.

2. Luis Suarez

He also apparently used the N-word against Patrice Evra. 10 times. Despite his skill, Luis Suarez is definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. You can see him: a naughty kid who skipped school to play football and peek into girls’ toilets. He probably thought the N-word was just a normal description of an ‘annoying person’ in English, and probably called his little brother that in Uruguay. So he kinda deserves a break. Verdict: Not Guilty for racism, guilty for absolute brainlessness. But he doesn’t need brains. Just skill.

3. Shaquille O’Neal

Shaq, when asked if he had anything to say to Yao Ming, who was first coming into the league as the no 1 overall pick, said: Tell Yao Ming: Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-so. Frankly, if you ask me, I think Shaq’s a really funny guy. I think he’s a guy whom if you were to call him the N-word, he’d just laugh and tombstone you and walk off. He’s also like a big kid, and obviously loves watching Bruce Lee Movies, as evidenced by the youtube below. Verdict: Not Guilty for racism, as he genuinely thinks his joke is funny. And as a chinese, I think it’s quite funny. Although, not many people think so.

4. The Country of Spain

While many think Spain is a beautiful country (and it is) and the home of beautitful football, it’s also considered as the unofficial racism capital of the world. Thierry Henry was referred to as black sh*t by the Spanish coach. And during a full page report, the entire basketball team made this picture before going to Beijing:

Spain’s Olympic Basketball Team

I mean, this is just dumb. As in achingly, mind-numbingly DUMB. It’s like giving a heil hitler salute before going to a German Olympics. Or painting yourself black before going to South Africa World Cup. Verdict: Guilty of Racism. And of paramount stupidity that is beyond belief.

5. Kris Jenner

I know this is not a sporting personality, but she’s rich. She’s the mum of Kim Kardashian, who apparently got married and divorced in 70+ days. When asked if the ex-husband would ask back the engagement ring, she said:” No, I hate an Indian Giver, a gift is a gift.” No 1: An engagement ring is NOT a gift…it’s a symbol of commitment. If her daughter wants to break off the marriage, then give back the ring, darn it! It costs 2 Million bucks! And an ‘Indian Giver’ is an actual slur to Native Americans. It was crafted by European settlers when the natives would give them things to barter (since they had no money concept). The settlers thought they were gift, so when they did not exchange anything, the natives took the ‘gifts’ back. Early Settlers were apparently as dumb as the Spanish basketball team.

I just thought this was a little funny, because I remember this episode from Seinfield: Sit back and enjoy!