Ok, so our Gilagolf Prediction Theory was a little off. We predicted Brandt Snedeker to win. Instead he went the other way, posting 77. We thought we tracked him after that eagle on 2 but he derailed instead. Our other prediction was partly correct, Ian Poulter making a brief run after the second before killing himself with 3 double bogeys in three holes. Paul Casey playing like a chipmunk drunk with tequilla. Cink and Flesch wishing they had more hair to win this dang thing.
We also predicted Tiger Woods wouldn’t come close to challenging the masters and we were correct. Trevor Immelman played the 16th like your weekend hacker and still could afford a double on the 18th to win it. Nope, Tiger was no where close.
Since you can read in 100,000 other articles on the net on how Trevor won, and the full Masters analysis, Gilagolf is just going to offer one perspective:
How Tiger Lost
Many will say Tiger lost it in the final round, where he missed putts like how I miss putts. On the 15th, he had like less than 5 feet to start a major run, and he screwed up the birdie.
But his chances really ended months ago, after he made this statement, when asked if he can complete the Grand Slam this year:
“I think it’s easily within reason.”
For the uninitiated, the Grand Slam is winning all 4 majors in a calendar year, a feat only achieved by Bobby Jones, who sounds like your neighbourhood garbage man but who is actually one of the greatest golfers ever lived (well, he’s dead now). Mr Jones did it before the modern definition of majors; i.e The Masters, The US Open, the British Open and the PGA Championship. Nobody has ever won these 4 tournaments in one year.
And Tiger says: “It is EASILY WITHIN REASON.”
Note the innuendo of the world Number 1. In these 5 choice words, he has conveyed the following messages:
1) I am good, way better than all the other losers on this PGA tour.
2) All of y’all suck, especially that idiot Rory, whom I will have the joy of pounding my 7 iron into his mouth one of these days.
3) I have a hot wife.
Tiger definitely has a way with words.
Every golfer, from pro to hacker, knows the golden rule of golf:
NEVER JINX YOURSELF.
This is so easy to do. You sometimes do it without realising it. For instance, take my KRTU experience. I was saying to myself breaking 80 is ‘easily within reason’ and then blew up for a 95 on a windswept day. Another time, I shot 40 on my front nine in Nilai Springs, then said to myself: “Maybe today…”. I didn’t even tell anyone! Next thing I knew, I started hacking like a pregnant hippo and shot 47 on the back. How many times I was poised to shoot a low round record when my entire game would decide to take a break and destroy any semblance of pride I have left?
That’s how Tiger lost. He jinxed himself. His recovery shots and putting left him. True he made a ridiculous par on the 18th on Friday (or Thursday?) but it didn’t matter. He lost, because of his big mouth. And hence, he tried to recover from it, saying in the post round interview:
“I learned my lesson there with the press. I’m not going to say anything,”
Welcome Tiger, to the world of hackers.
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