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There is a ball of a difference

So before the lockdown, I managed to squeeze in a few games of golf in Mines, Palm, Glenmarie and Kota Permai. It was good to be back out on the course again for sure – and while this second CMCO isn’t half as bad – the fact that we have the kids home with us makes it more difficult to take the whole morning/afternoon off for a game. Plus golf courses now seem to be a hotspot in itself, with Tropicana having a number of COVID cases.

It was during my round in Palm garden where I scored an 84 that I realised my game has somewhat reached a level where playing the shitty golf ball that I picked up from the bushes may have a difference in how I play. I was gaming the Inesis 500 Soft 2 piece ball that day and for some reason or another, my drives were just hopelessly short. It would be carrying a huge amount of spin and dropped off the sky like a rock and land very short from where I know I should be hitting. I game the Inesis mainly because it’s a cheap ball (I think like RM50 for a dozen) and I like the matte finish. And also because I was using this when I scored 80 on Mines about a year back.

But after researching a bit, I took it out from my bag and started gaming the Srixon Z Star and the Z Star XV from a very reasonably priced second hand seller – the new ones were just a bit too expensive for now – and I took it to Kota Permai.

Wow.

Yes, I did score 92 instead and mainly because Kota Permai greens were so crazy fast and I was tweaking my 917 Titliest 4 different times, to adjust the loft, the weight etc. And I was horrible from my bunkers, which isn’t usually the case, so I easily lost 3 strokes on bunkers, and 3 strokes from putting like an idiot.

But the ball was a huge difference. The time it stayed in the air, the trajectory of it – boring through and landing and rolling for miles – it 100% confirms to me that I will not be gaming any more Inesis moving forward (although the 900 Inesis had very good reviews, so I may use that). For now, it’s Srixon Z Star (XV) for me.

Just as I was getting used to it, the game ended and two days later, the CMCO was announced, slamming shut another golf window for a few weeks. Hope to get back on track at least in November, or the very least in December.

Till then – stay safe everyone!

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AND WE’RE BAAACK!

Just thought to write something on this blog after so long.

It’s been almost a year since a post but that doesn’t mean I’ve not been doing anything!

Golf obviously has taken a back seat due to the Covid-19 and frankly, gives us a time to ponder how life is. To all the front liners, risking their health and life to keep us safe, kudos and thank you.

For all those other jokers who decided to break their quarantine and make trouble to everyone during the MCO, shame on you.

To all fellow golfers walking out of their homes like blind bats living in a cave for their whole lives – welcome back!

Golf has basically started ok since the lockdown. Been playing a lot at the home course – but the RHB courses hopefully will start playing next month onwards.

In terms of skills – rusty is all I can say, but surprisingly, the chipping has improved due to the countless hours of practicing at home due to the lockdown.

So now – back to golf, but keep your distance!!!

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Maid Contract Renewal 2019

Another year, another headache. Since the article on how to renew maid VISA + contract received so many hits, I thought of just updating it to reflect the most current procedures.

a) Fomema

Fomema now has given options to do alternate year after the third year of checkup. So for instance year 1,2 and 3, then year 4 you can skip, year 5 do, year 6 skip and so on. Else, if you are like us, just do it each year. It doesn’t take a lot of effort and health is everyone’s rights.

So head over to https://portal.fomema.my/

Register worker – for some reason, workers registered previous year is not saved.

You can’t use worker code. So remove worker code and re-register again and it should work.

Pay online around RM191 and if you are like me, paranoid about credit card, just use FPX and select your bank.

Once paid we are done, print the invoice and details. We will need also the Fomema medical form by clicking the trans_id in red.

Make sure your insurance for the maid has been paid as well.

Check the portal again after a few days and you should see “Suitable, please proceed to Immigration. Thank you”. DO NOT PROCEED TO IMMIGRATION. There is nothing for you there. It’s a trick.

b) Renew VISA

There is not much difference from previous procedure. Just go over to the Myeg website, login, click on immigration and “Maid Permit Renewal”.

There you need to key in all the details of your maid, make sure you get everything correct. Including your IC, which has ‘-‘ in them.  I would suggest to collect through the e-service centre due to convenience.

You will end up paying around RM631 for the maid renewal.

MYEG may call you or they may not, but within a week, you should go ahead and just ping them to check. Once the Visa is ready you can head over to their new office @ Empire City. Just take your IC and maid’s passport, no need maid.

It takes a little getting used to. When you drive into the parking, just drive straight all the way until you hit a junction.  You will see a sign in front of you.

 

 

Like all things in Malaysia, do not follow this sign. Just park your car around here, and walk to the right of this sign, going diagonally. You will eventually come upon the entrance to MyEg. You need to register with the guard, get a tag then take the stairs to downstairs one flight, then take the elevator to Ground from there. It’s a very roundabout way to enter the building, so obviously its very poorly thought of. Empire City seems like a real mess.

Once on the ground, just enquire one of the guards for MyEG and he will direct you to the turnstiles where you use your tag and just head towards the new office.

MyEG new office is super different from their old place. Their old place in BU was like a trashy public motel that charges per hour. This new place is VERY professionally done and super impressive. Even more impressive was the service (granted I went on a weekday, off peak). Just take a number, and get called, pass the maid’s passport and your IC and you are done. Wait for around 15 minutes or so, and they will ping you and you now have a new VISA. SUPER! Well done, MyEG!

c) Renew VISA

Renewal of contract needs to occur every two years. I’ll admit, you probably can get this done yourself, but it depends. For me, it just seemed more convenient to get the agent to help out. I paid around 1.5K all in, which, again, could be saved but I think it’s fine.

So Contract. First of all get your documents ready.

a) Most recent contract, original, not photocopy. To be save, just bring all the past year contracts

b) Current insurance certificate (renewed)

c) Current insurance receipt

d) Current maid passport (and any old one if she has)

e) Employer’s IC

f) Maid

Photostat all of it (not the maid of course, silly) It’s important to bring the maid because you need to sign!

Set apart one day – Unfortunately I got held up in a jam and only arrived at the embassy at around 9.30 am. Previously we did it in half a day before lunch we were done when I reached at 9 am. By 9.30am the embassy was full and we were in trouble.

Don’t wear slippers! Wear shoes!

Once there, I met up with my agent, she gave me a bunch of forms to sign and so I went ahead and signed. She basically settled everything for us, including submission etc. As employer, you can leave already and go back to work. The maid technically can also leave but she needs to stay there in case her signature doesn’t get through. Also, if both of you leave, you need to arrange with your agent to get back the contract and passport. What I did was to just leave after signing and then arrange Grab for her to go back. She finished almost at 1.45 pm. So the moral of the story is to GO EARLY!

So another year is done. It’s not cheap! The whole process sets me back almost 2,300MYR, but thats the cost of upkeeping a maid these days.

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Lesson Learnt: Don’t Binge Buy

So after struggling for two games in a row with the 917D stiff shaft, I decided to go and see a Fitter at the superstore MST along Federal Highway. Now, do note that I didn’t play that badly in my second game at Glenmarie. I scored 89, but struggled with my irons a bit and just completely sucked at my hybrid. So my driver wasn’t half bad – much better than my previous game, but I just felt like I was wrestling with a snake and I am not sure why.

So I thought maybe I could change my shaft a bit, hence went to the Fitter.

He brought me to a Trackman (I think it was another brand but I don’t recall) and here are my launch stats average:

BallSpeed: 137.9

Total Spin: 2475

Carry: 212m

Total: 230m

Club Head Speed: 96.2mph

Those are really decent numbers, to be honest. I thought I was higher in my swing speed but at 96.2, I am not a slouch either. According to this helpful chart below:

I should be playing to a 9-12 handicap which is what I’ve generally been playing to on great days – on normal days, maybe to 13 – 15 range. But banging it fast doesn’t mean I can score well. Case in point, in the few games I’ve missed absolute sitters for birdies – 3 footers, 4 footers just completely missing the putt. But overall, according to the stats I have above, I don’t seem to have an overall concern to my swing speed.

Funny thing, when I changed shafts to regular shaft (I tried a variety), the improvement was negative!

I was averaging 94 to 95 on the regular shafts, total carry distance wasn’t even past 220m and my spin was all higher. True, it’s probably because I was progressively getting tired, and maybe I was over compensating, but I was NOT hitting the ball better with the newer shafts. So maybe I have to stick back to the old shaft, or better still go back to my old Driver for the next game and see if there’s any improvement in the game.

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Golf House and Kota Permai

Golf house is closing down.

Or at least I think it is.

We headed over to One Utama outlet this week and managed to get the following:

a) 1X Regular 10.5 917 D2 Titleist Driver

b) 1X Stiff 9.5 917 D2 Titleist Driver

c) 1X Mizuno S5 54 Degree Wedge

d) 1X 818 H1 23 Degree Hybrid Titleist

e) 1X Taylormade 22 Degree Hybrid M4

f) 1X 917 F2 3 Wood Titleist

g) 1X Adipower Golf Shoes

h) 4X Mizuno Golf Shirts

i) 1 X Adidas Golf shirts

j) 2 X Mizuno golf long pants

k) 1 X Mizuno Carry Golf Bag

l) 1 X TaylorMade MG Wedge 60 Degree

m) 1X 915 F 5 Wood Titleist

Total = RM3,265.00

Yes, read it again. That’s 2 drivers, 2 Wedges, 2 Hybrids, 2 Woods,  1 Bag, 5 Shirts, 2 Pants, 1 Pair of Shoes. All brand new

Drop the mic. Of course, not all was mine, these were combined with the other guys as well.

And we were late to the party. Others have cleared out the PINGs, the Callaways, the Taylormades, all putters were GONE. GONE. So I could have ended up stockpiling a lot more stuff but couldn’t.

So were these useful?

Now remember, the above purchase were ALL UNNECESSARY. Totally UNNECESSARY.

I am playing superb golf already with my Cobra Driver and my old clubs, hitting 80 the last time out to Mines.

We are what we term as itchy backside.

So I dumped all the clubs I was playing superb with, and switched and went to Kota Permai.

Using the 9.5 D2 Titleist Driver, I completely sucked. It was so difficult to adjust to it after going with the more regular, lofted and bigger head of my Cobra. But when I did contact this Titleist, as in 2 – 3 instance, my God, it was a monster. Low, boring trajectory, at one Par 4, I was literally only around 30 meters from the green after the drive. I was thinking of PUTTING.

But the misses were all right and bad. This means I am not squaring my clubface fast enough – could be moving too fast and my clubhead is too slow due to heavier and stiffer shaft. I think.

Do I like this driver? Honestly I prefer my wonderful Cobra, and I knew I should have stuck with a 10.5 regular, but this Titliest 9.5 Stiff was fitted with a Aldila Rogue Max Shaft and was the last one in the shop. How NOT TO BUY?!?

Aside from that, I took the F15 5 wood out for a test as well. Meh. Just reinforces why I don’t use 5 wood anymore. In fact, the Golf House sale, there was one thing in abundance – 5 WOODs. Nobody uses them anymore. Hybrids have replaced them.

I also gamed the MG Taylormade 60 degree to replace my extremely old Cleveland wedges. WOW. This is the best purchase I have. The Milled Grind Taylormade needs to be getting used to, but the balance was great. I was using it ALOT, for all my bunker shots, for all approach inside 90m. It’s a great club and I purchased the last 60 degree of this sucker. Looks wise, it doesn’t compare to the Titleist or Cleveland wedges – it’s not the black or oil can finish I prefer my wedges in, but hey – time to change!

So overall, I need to game my Titleist Driver more. I remember switching to my Cobra also took around 3 – 4 rounds before I actually got to controlling it. But the Cobra always had a high trajectory. If I can get this D2 under control, with the trajectory and distance I am seeing, I am going to eat up some courses.

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Hank Haney isn’t racist, he’s just a dumbass

For those not aware, Hank Haney recently gave some seriously disparaging remarks about Korean women players on tour.

Firstly he predicted a Korean will win, and he doesn’t know what their names are, and he just goes like, “I’ll take a Lee. There’s a bunch of them.”

And guess what, a ‘Lee’ won! Jeongeun Lee (number 6, because apparently there are many) won the US Women’s Open. And Hank, being a twat as usual, sent out other tweets to basically say: there you go, I was right. Jeongyun Lee has won. No, Jongyon Lee. No sorry, Kim Jong Un Lee.

What pissed a lot of people of was not because Hank was being Hank, which would excuse his dimwittedness (read his book, “The Big Miss”, and you will know how small a d*ck this guy has in front of other alpha males like Tiger), but because he basically dehumanized an entire fraternity of women golfers IN THE WORLD. By saying what he said he was basically saying: Who the f*ck cares about Korean women in golf? Hell, who cares about women in golf? HELL, WHO CARES ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL?

He doesn’t know it, but that’s what he is saying.

He’s not being a racist, because a racist is basically acting towards a certain race. He’s not being a chauvinist, because a chaunivist lauds a particular gender, which he technically isn’t doing. He is basically being a dumbass, at best, or at worst, a serial murderer. So we’re going to go with the first.

I’ve had many experience with people like Hank before in my work place. It doesn’t matter whether they are from US, Canada, China, India, Slovenia, Japan (Ok, maybe not Japan). People are like Hank not because of thier race or country or nationality. It’s about their upbringing. They are simply not able to grasp or understand other cultures or realise that there is a world of different people beside from what they know. In other words, small-mindedness.

I once had an argument with a very superior sounding westerner who said disparaging remarks about the Chinese culture. Basically he said, before people understood how to use fork and spoons, they had to resort to using hands (Indians) to eat their food or sticks (chinese). But because westerners use proper cutleries, it shows how advanced their civilisation is compared to India and China.

What. The. Flaming. F.

I mean, it’s hard to fathom that there are actual human beings on this God given planet with unlimitless depth to thier absolute stupidity. There is literally no other words to describe people like that except, My dear God, this guy was definitely absent when God gave out brains in Creation day.

And the same is with Hank.

He thinks he’s being funny. It’s like Fuzzy Zoeller made that fried chicken remark to Tiger Woods. Everyone is a comedian at the expense of somebody else.

Hank Haney?

His instructions are stupid anyway and it never works, so let’s chalk this up not to racism but basically the small-mindedness, coccoon mentality of an elderly gentlema who is trying to be funny, but is absolutely batshit stupid.

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My biggest Bottle Job: Mines and the Sub-80 round

What are the biggest choke jobs we know in sports?

Greg Norman, as great a golfer as he is, is best remembered for the epic bottle job he did in the 1996 US Masters. Discounting the time when in ’86 and ’87 in major tournaments, his opponents holed out their shots to beat him (it wasn’t his fault), the 1996 bottle job was the bottle job of all time.  Leading by six going into the final round, he ended up losing it by his own stupidity.

Jean Van De Velde – bottler on the 1999 British Open. We all knew what happened at Carnoustie. Last hole, up by 3, and bottled it due to his own stupidity.

Arnold Palmer – 7 stroke lead in 1966 US Open on the last day – bottled it and lost. Adam Scott – 2012, played +4  in the last 4 holes and lost to Ernie Els. Rory in 2011 Masters, Dustin Johnso – God knows how many times he bottled. Jordan Spieth – 2016 Masters. Bottled.

Even away from golf, 1988 FA Cup comes to mind, with Liverpool expected to eviscerate  Wimbledon. They bottled and lost.  They did make up for it in 2005 Champions League Finals in Instanbul, where they turned a 3-0 deficit to win it against AC Milan. Ironically, they bottled it again with Crystal Palace in 2013 and lost the title race for good – 3-0 with 11 minutes to go and they couldn’t win. Idiots. Brazil losing 1 – 7 to Germany in 2014. At home, in Brazil. WTF was that.

Of recent memories – PSG bottling it with Barcelona last year and this year with Manchester United, makes them officially the biggest bottling football team in history. Barcelona choking this year to Liverpool – ironically again a 3-0 deficit being erased. Liverpool loves and hates these 3-0 scorelines somehow. Ajax bottling it with Tottenham, and Arsenal doing their own series of bottling and choking this year to somehow miss Champions League and lost 1-4 to Chelsea in the Europa Finals. In Baku.  Where-ever that is.

Why am I going on with this?

Because I am a bottler. I am officially now a Choke-artist.

My golfing goals in life is simple: Hole In One (luck) and breaking 80 (skill and not being a bottler).

I have mentioned previously, the best chance I have for breaking 80 is always in Mines Golf Course – not just because it plays to a 71, but because I like this course. It’s my go-to course for great scores. My 81 last year and my other scores of 80s are all there. I don’t remember the last time I scored 90 and above in Mines, which is saying a lot.

So I had a competition round this week in Mines and we started off shotgun on the tough Hole 3 Index hole.

Hole 3: Bogey. It’s the first hole. It’s the toughest. A bogey with a 7 footer to start? I’ll take it.

Hole 4: Missed a 4 footer birdie putt. In a tournament with system 36 where Birdies means you play under. How choking is that? Par.

Hole 5: Bogeyed which is fine for a tough par 3.

Hole 6: Par, good putt from the fringe.

Hole 7: Great shot to the tough par 3, 2 putt par.

Hole 8: Almost bottled this as my 3 wood was topped and I ended up in the rough. I managed to coax this with a 4 on, and amazingly two putted from the top of a super difficult green. Bogey.

Hole 9: Almost lost ball, but instead regulation on, and two putted from VERY far away for Par.

Hole 10: Bogey. This is the one with a big tree in the middle.

Hole 11: Pretty amazing par as I chipped from very far away and had to hole an 8 footer.

Hole 12: Again, almost bottled this par 5 when I topped my hybrid the same way as the other par 5. I landed in the deep bunker but conjured an amazing bunker shot to land in front of green and navigated for a bogey.

Hole 13: Tough par 4, my first double bogey, but it’s pretty expected on this hole.

Hole 14: Par, putted from fringe.

Hole 15: Par, putted from fringe.

Hole 16: Pulled my shot but also recovered with a putt from off the green and holing par with an 8 footer.

Hole 17: Tun’s hole – par from a very long two putt.

Hole 18: Again, pulled left, and again, like Hole 7, recovered and managed to hole my par from 6 feet.

So let’s recap. At this point, after 16 holes, my scores were +1, +1,  +2, +2, +2, +3, +3, +4, +4, +5, +7, +7, +7, +7, +7, +7.

I was +7 with 2 to play. It dawned on me that I could break bloody 80 for the first time.

Going back to hole 1, I popped my drive but recovered by playing it safe. I landed near the hole and barely missed my birdie putt. Settled for another par.

I was +7 going into the final hole = the long par 5 hole 2. I knew I just needed to navigate and avoid the water on the left. I could bogey the hole and still break 80.

Amazing drive. Best I hit all day and I hit some pretty amazing drives all day. Best second shot with my six iron to land me around 120m from the green. Mission accomplished, I avoided the water on left, and had a pitching wedge in my hand to the enticing green and all I had to do was to put it on or near and I could play par and bogey and ride off into the sunset.

I had two clubs in my hand.

The 52 Gap was never going to reach the green but it would be short, and I was playing to a red pin. I would be comfortable putting slightly off the green for a par. The 52 was my go-to club. I can hit this baby with my eyes closed and with my left leg chopped off.

My pitching wedge was not so confident, but it would put me pin high. I was chasing a birdie to put my round under for the tournament.

My God, I should have selected the damn 52.

My pitching wedge dug too deep into the ground and because of it being soggy, the whole ball duffed. Not only duffed, it duffed into a fairway BUNKER. So my fourth ball was hit out of the bunker (I was already extremely shocked) and I managed to chip on for 5 – on , reasonable but it would be a snaky 10 footer downhill for my coveted prize of sub-80.

HOW THE FLAMING F*** did it even come to this??

Going for 3 bloody on with a pitching wedge and now I had to sink a 10 footer to avoid double bogey and to avoid bottling my sub 80 opportunity??

I had so many looks at this damn putt, but inevitably, fatefully, the putt slithered offline midway through and ended up low and shit – just as how my soul ended up.

9 over.

80.

Still the best round but it was the way I played to final hole that really killed me. I bottled it. I choked.

So the next time I call someone or some team a bottler – I am reminded – I bottled it in Mines, and choked my sub 80 round.

The mission in life to break 80 continues.

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Ranking Caddies RHB Golf Clubs

We’ve been playing RHB clubs for some years now, and one of the things we usually struggle with, aside from figuring out the course, is why the hell do we have to end up paying for caddies when they have absolutely zero value to our golf game? Plus on top of that, we need to figure out how much to tip these guys at the end of the day.

So, here we have it, ranking from best to worse, caddies in the 6 participating golf clubs under RHB (in Klang Valley):

1.  Mines Resort and Golf Club

All the times we’ve played in Mines, it has always been an absolute pleasant experience. Of course I am probably biased seeing that I play my best games there, and our Prime Minister’s house is there, and there is usually nobody on the course, and we usually have a delightful lunch at the Sri Kembangan area. There are a lot of things to like about Mines – the course is in pristine conditions, the layout is very nice with enough challenge and variety for the average hacker. But what stands out in Mines, especially compared to the other clubs under RHB cards – are the caddies. The caddies here are caddies. I am saying that because a lot of clubs out there, their caddies are NOT caddies. They are probably trained as hedge-keepers, gardeners, plant-waterers, weed-pickers or something to that ilk but not caddies. In Mines, they are properly trained and I have never had a bad experience with any of them. None. In fact, there is one SUPER caddy there, an elderly Indian gentleman, who is like Gandalf of the Greens. In unreadable greens, he will sagely interpret the distance, the break and he is NEVER wrong. He really puts in perspective what golf is like IF you play with an actual caddy who knows his stuff. He saves you 3 – 4 strokes a round easily, and you will probably win whatever bet you have on the table. He is that good. The other caddies are also good – even those who are fairly new, if they cannot read greens properly, they do other things well, like getting you clubs to you on time etc. Mines = excellent. We usually tip them above RM80 – RM 100 per caddy, because they are good – and probably because there is so few people playing on the course.

2. Kota Permai Golf and Country Club

Kota Permai’s caddies may not be as wondrous as Mines, but they are not terrible either. Kota Permai greens are notoriously quick and the breaks are very subtle. Sometimes we get lucky and get a good caddy and he/she would guide us through treacherous greens. They also are usually fairly quick to look for balls, and they know what clubs you want and need. They pack the clubs properly after, and they make sure they clean the clubs after your stroke. They probably don’t read as well as Mines, but I don’t recall any bad experience with them, meaning they are doing their job and doing it OK. So it’s more mediocre than anything – don’t expect them to give a great read or anything, but they look for ball, get the clubs to you on time, clean it up and fix the course. Basically, no value add, but they do what they re supposed to do. A usual tip of RM50 is usually OK, although sometimes, I end up going RM60.

3. Sungai Long Golf and Country Club

From the top 2, you will find a drastic drop in quality in the remaining clubs, starting with Sungai Long Golf Club. You may be surprised at this, because our last experience with Sungai Long was with a caddy that did not speak english well and all the while had been advicing me “kiri and kanan” and almost a the end of the round I realised he thought “kiri” was right and “kanan” was left. So all breaks were wrong because of his language. We also experienced a caddy who was a trainee from Bangladesh, who just got promoted from being a weed-picker. We know this because he saw the other weed-pickers and immediately hailed all of them and they all met up like long lost buddies with them congratulating him on his promotion to caddy (it seems like it, or they are probably talking about a Bangladeshi drama series, I don’t know). But this caddy just sat in the buggy mostly, not doing shit and more often than not seemed more interested staring into space and wondering about his hometown than to caddy for us. So if this kind of crap-shit standard caddies are still number 3 on the list, you know you have descended into the toilet bowl of golf caddies in the other clubs following. Caddy tips for Sungai Long? RM40, or even RM30 if you don’t feel cool about them. For the trainees, RM0 and a slap might be considered generous.

4. Tropicana Golf and Country Resort

Tropicana has some caddies that are horrible, and we have had experience with those. Their stupidity is not so much on caddy roles (reading greens, getting clubs, finding balls, cleaning clubs and fixing courses etc). Their caddy roles are reasonable. They do their jobs. It’s their attitude that is the problem. There was a girl, who even on the first tee, already got a good scolding from my flight mate for being a pain in the ass. Basically, not getting to the tee on time, complaining and murmuring even on the first tee and just being a basic idiot when all she had to do was shut the hell up and let us play. Another experience was with a caddy who just couldn’t shut up commenting about my game, and kept saying I couldn’t hit shots and one time said: “Padan Muka” meaning, serves you right, when I didn’t listen to her and used another club and she thought I hit into water (which I didn’t). Tropicana caddies are the only caddies I really got pissed off with and scolded for just being complete useless a**holes. The reason why Tropicana is not at the bottom of this toilet bowl caddy list, is because not all caddies there are idiots. There are a few who are reasonable (not good), but not make us want to kill them. But for a club with this so-called prestige, to have caddies that are disrespectful, uncourteous and being generally as useful as a marble inside your spleen – it’s just not the way it should be. Trops should invest in a proper caddy program and not bring these idiots in to tarnish their reputation. We still tip the caddies here around RM50, but in that instance where the caddy was being sassy or stupid – I gave her RM50 still but told her to buck up or I will complain about her.  Attitude problems in Tropicana.

5. Palm Garden Golf Club

While Tropicana is a problem with attitude, Palm Garden’s caddies are just downright useless. Absolutely USELESS. They have no value there. They don’t know how to read the greens, they don’t get you the right clubs at the right time and they are complete shit at looking for balls. We had a few times where the caddy were just useless in looking for balls. One time, I hit a par 3 and my ball bounded up the cartpath to some palm trees. We spent a few minutes looking and while I was looking for it, he gave up and went back to the buggy. I told him, look for my ball and he just stood there. He literally refused to do shit. He said the ball entered into the palm tree and is stuck in the branches. Why don’t I stick a golf club up you where the sun doesn’t shine, you lazy bugger? We have had many experiences (all bad) with Palm Garden caddies. Not looking for ball, not getting clubs to us correctly or on time, forgetting our clubs and losing it and just being absolute dicks in performing what they are supposed to do. There is no reason for Palm Garden’s caddies existence, except its added cost to us. We still end up tipping them RM50 mostly, but in the case above, told him to screw off and gave him RM30. Palm Garden has absolute garbage for their caddies.

6. Glenmarie Golf and Country Club

It takes quite a lot to beat Palm Garden’s absolute shit-show for caddies, but Glenmarie manages to do so with aplomb. Glenmarie is the only club we go to where we actually fear that their caddies will rob us. Yes. It happened before, an incident where a caddy took, I think RM300 or RM500 from the wallet of one of my flight mates. We confronted and they admitted. The caddy did steal the money. So everytime now we go to Glenmarie, we had to keep an eye on their caddies. Aside from that experience, we have also faced times where they just completely suck in what they do, like the other caddies in the other clubs. We do have many unpleasant experiences with these caddies from Glenmarie. But that one single experience of being robbed by a Caddy is enough to make Glenmarie win the WORST CADDY SERVICE OF ALL TIME IN the entire world. Obviously for the thief, we should not tip and make a police report instead. For the rest, as long as they don’t get in the way, a normal RM50 tip may be enough. But please count your money first and make sure they are all there.

So in conclusion:

Mines = Excellent Caddies, worth every penny

Kota Permai = Functional caddies, no bad or good experience

Sungai Long = Language barrier, please ensure they understand what’s left or right, or simply, you learn how to speak Bangladeshi

Tropicana = Idiotic, opinionated caddies. Just tell them to shut up and not be your friend and do their job, you should be fine

Palm Garden = Functionally useless caddies, no value add, lazy, non-initiated, untrained and as useful as a piece of marble in your spleen.

Glenmarie = Absolute shit. Hide your wallets and hope for the best.

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The Golf Shop at The Club @ Bukit Utama

I don’t usually endorse any shops or courses but there is this one shop at The Club @ Bukit Utama, called The Sports Shop at lower ground, opposite the MMA training place, and same floor as the swimming pool: It’s run by a very nice lady and another guy who is a bigger golf nerd than me, who collects everything from broken driver heads to Daleheads Pings.

I hate going to this place.

Everytime I go in there, I go out carrying something and being poorer, but strangely happier. The difference between them and other stores out there is that they readily accept trade ins. If you are anything like me who had amassed an obscene amount of golf stuff over the years and have no clue how to get rid of them, The Sports Shop is there to rescue you. Of course, you don’t give them rubbish – but even old sets, old loose irons etc, they are willing to accept. They probably can’t cut you a good price for these since golf equipments are obsolete the moment you buy them, but the secret here is to trade. And here’s how you win-win.

The rubbish you have at home is rubbish anyway. Seriously, if you are like me and have like 10 different putters, you honestly will use only one or two anyway. And most of these putters are in the store room, rusting and gathering dust, and one day, your wife (or husband) who does not play golf will go, “Why in God’s name are these nonsense cluttering my house, dangit?!” And you will scramble to get rid of them.

So, gather your clubs – not all of them, maybe 4 – 5 of them, or 1 or 2 sets, and bring it over to the store. The shop prefers to trade in (I think) instead of passing you cash, so if you see a driver, a 3 wood, a hybrid, a putter you like, start negotiating.

At the end, you should get a like for like, or you can top up a bit. The first trade in went like this:

My side:

a) My RAC LT which was my second set which is starting to rust + a piece of junk stand bag

b) My wife’s reasonably new but not so great Dunlop Loco full set + a good cart bag

c) My Mother’s extremely old mizuno full set + a good cart bag

e) My extremely old R5 Taylor made driver

f) My very old R5XL 7 wood

g) My second driver (I say second driver meaning I use it sometimes when I am tired of my primary driver) – Hibore XLS

h) My Callaway RAZR X 3 Wood which for whatever reason I cannot hit with it so I junked it

Pretty much all in, I got a

a) MP – 57 iron set

b) My Cobra Fly Z + Driver with headcover and screw

c) Titliest 910D 3 wood

d) And I topped up RM500.

You may wonder if its a fair trade and I have to put in RM500. But everything on my side is useless (as I in I do not use them AT ALL) – except for maybe the driver, but since I am buying a new driver, my R11 will then become a secondary, and now I am bombing my Cobra and my 3 wood is sweet as peanut butter jelly. Only the MP-57s are  a bit more difficult to use compared to my 54, but I will keep them as a second set.

And now recently I stupidly stepped into the shop again after avoiding it for a few months.

It’s like a drug den. You simply cannot come out without getting something, and getting your fix.

I’ve seen some sweet sets in there like the MP59 and JPX wood which I wanted, but resisted and then poof they were gone with the wind. That MP59 was really mesmerizing and I am so regretting making a move for the 57s and not waiting for the 59s, but hey, that’s life isn’t it.

This time around, I made it a point to avoid the iron sets all lined up at the far wall. I simply cannot afford cluttering up my place again. Instead, looked at the driver and woods in front and the putter. And man, I shouldn’t have.

I saw an old 2007 Anser 2 (Pings are perfect putters) and a Yes! Jennie putter that looked like Ping B60. I also unfortunately saw this beautiful looking hybrid that has a silvery matte club head – the SLDR S Hybrid 3.

YowZah.

So, it was time for a clearance of some really old clubs from my side.

Firstly to decide on the putters – it’s stupid to have two putters so in this case I opted for the rarer Yes putter (ping putters are a dime a dozen). So even if it sounds like a woman’s club, that C-groove tech is something I always wanted to try.

My trade in for these 2 (Yes Jennie + SLDR – S Hybrid)

a) Rossa Monza  Mallet Putter (Original One without the AGSI insert)

b) Odyssey DFX 5500 Blade Putter

c) Never Compromise Voodoo Daddy Center Shaft Putter

d) Old Pair of 3 and 5 woods R7 XR

e) Titleist 983K driver HEAD (the shaft snapped). It looks similar to the 975D driver that got famous as Tiger’s driver in his early days, but he never used the 983K, so there’s not much nostalgia attached there.

f) Top up RM100

Again, the argument here is that, I have not touched any of these clubs (and driver head) for years, except for the Odyssey, but that one is already rusting on the shaft and I really suck at it and I’ve not touched it since I swithced to the Cleveland two square putter.

So, basically, it’s clearing up my place of 5 clubs + driver head which I would throw anyway – and getting back a hybrid I would use and a putter I would use.

The SLDR hybrid would directly replace my Superfast 2.0 Taylormade burner which I have a love hate relationship with. Sometime it’s perfect and others it just hooks the hell out of everything. The Superfast goes into my secondary Set with my 57s and my R11 and Cobra LD5 wood.

In all seriousness, if anyone is around BU area, drop into the The Club. Go to lower ground and have a look at this great little shop. I guarantee you will come out wanting something, and thinking of what you can trade in!

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How to Play Mines – The Hacker Version

Horses for Courses.

That saying rings ever true especially in golf. I have a friend who plays to a rather high handicap most of the time, but everytime he steps onto Tropicana, he beats the crap out of us. Another guy I play with plays his homecourse blindfolded and probably can beat me with just a driver, wedge and putter; but when he steps into other courses, he ends up like a wet towel on a walrus’ head. Which absolutely does not make sense, but it sounds like a nice saying for being crap.

And the same for me. There are just some courses that suck the life out of you even before you step on the first tee box (I am looking straight at you, Seri Selangor), but there are also some courses, that you simply cannot explain how the hell you cannot score there. The course is good, the maintenance is good but everytime you step on that course you play like a tapir who just stepped into a pile of horse dung filled with rusted nails. Palm Garden is one such course. Tropicana, for me, is another ridiculously looking easy course that I just cannot score on.

Mines?

Ah, Mines. Mines is like a warm chicken soup cooked by my mother waiting for me on a cold, rainy evening. Mines is like the wondrous smell of my favourite noodles cooked by my mother’s loving hands whenever I come home from a long day at college. Mines is like the delicious taste of my mother’s version of french toast, with eggs and butter, the way that Elvis Presley loved it – and the way my mother does it – on a Saturday morning, where I would eat the entire loaf in one go.

Ah, Mines.

Playing there after struggling a lot with my new weight loss and my complete loss of distance in my irons, I managed an 11 over 82. It was GOOD. I had a very good game with 2 near birdie misses and 2 par saves that did not happen due to me burning the hole. The last time I stepped into mines was before my game went south, it was almost a year back where I shot 81.

This time, I’ve come to accept my fate as a normal distance golfer after my weight loss. Do not tell me it’s my swing. When I was 81 KG, I was hitting my pitching wedges into 130m and my 9 iron into 150 meters. It was delightful. Now, I am using 7 irons to 150 and 8 irons to 130. So while losing weight does have its benefit, now that I am a manageable 73kg, hitting distance with my irons ain’t one of it.

So seeing I am sort of averaging a low 80s for Mines, here’s a writeup on how to navigate it if your skillset is more or less as limited as mine.

Let’s start with Hole 1.

You are standing at Hole 1, trying to loosen up on your first tee. Hole 1 is a nice broad fairway, so go ahead with a driver. Don’t aim too far right because you might end up in the first bunker, but if you play a draw like I do, then aiming at the second bunker will do. You will never reach it. Once teed off, you should be about an 8 iron or 7 iron away into an uphill green. Aim right. It’s ok. Left is disaster and anything long is disaster, so make sure you don’t end up going long. Short and right of green is fine. One chip, one putt for par or two putt to escape with bogey.

Hole 2.

This is a dastardly par 5 that curves almost like a horseshoe. The tee off is easy, you won’t screw it up. Just don’t go left. Right is fine but you may end up in the rough. The key is your second shot. Always play to the right. I don’t care if you are up on a slope, but stay away from the left like it’s a gigantic pile of cat shit. It’s all water there. Third shot, depending on where you are, I would opine to play short again. If you overhook it you are in the water. So take away the problem, play short and one chip and putt or two putt – par or bogey.

Hole 3.

Very tough hole. It’s the index. Hardly anyone will reach in 2 here, so you can take a 3 wood or a driver, but the key is to stay away from left. Right rough is also fine. For the second, you may want to lay up to a distance you are comfortable with, or like me, I usually just take a 3 wood and try to hit as far as I can. To escape again with bogey here is a big deal.

Hole 4.

Don’t go right. There is deceivingly big area to bailout on the left, so go left and go long. Even if you are in the trees, it’s sparse enough to hit out from. From there, an 8 iron or 9 iron should see you in front of the green or you can even go a bit long. This should be a par hole or even a bogey is OK.

Hole 5

This is a difficult par 3. I used to go in here with an 8 iron or 7 iron, but nowadays I need a 5 iron in there. You probably want to aim a bit right and see if you can tease it back in. In any case, a bogey is absolutely fine for this hole.

Hole 6

This is a very short par 4 and if you avoid water on the right, you should definitely try to score here. A smart play is to just hit your irons and with a wedge put it on the green. We usually go for the driver, leaving us with a very awkward flop shot which I won’t recommend. You should par this or better.

Hole 7

This is a very intimidating par 3 but actually, if you aim left at the flowerbeds with the “MINES” word, you will find yourself reasonably safe for a bogey at the least. Don’t mess with the right, bail out if necessary.

Hole 8

Very very nice par 5 and definitely scoreable. Your job is just to hit a reasonable drive that doesn’t go right, then place it to around 100m from the green. DO NOT GO RIGHT. There is a valley of death down there. With a wedge you should be able to put it on. Careful of this green, it’s devilish tricky because of the severe slope, so even you do not par, a bogey is a good score here.

Hole 9

The final hole isn’t easy because if you go right on the drive, you are pretty much dead, and the fairway is narrow. You can opt for a 3 wood to stay on fairway, then a hybrid to get near the green – one chip, two putt for bogey.

So you have completed the first 9 with hopefully 8 bogeys and 1 Par. Not bad at 44.

Hole 10

This is a tough hole to tackle because if you go too far right, you have to contend with the giant tree in the middle of the fairway. Too far left you end up in the hazard. You are better just taking a wood and steering it slightly left. You will be with a 6 iron or 5 iron and you can punch it to the green if possible. Bogey is a good score here.

Hole 11

Tough par 3. Don’t go right, that’s it. Bail out on the left, and focus on chipping on the green, two putt for bogey.

Hole 12

Scoreable par 5 for sure. It’s short. If you can avoid the bunker on the right on your tee, this hole opens up a lot. A hybrid second should set you within wedge distance to a generous green. You should par this or better!

Hole 13

Index hole, you need your driver to work here. Stay right and then try to not be aggressive on your second. Too much trouble right and left. So avoid the temptation for a hybrid but instead play to a chipping distance to the green. Chip for 3 on and if you escape with a bogey, I guarantee there will be your playing partners (fellow hackers) who will blow this hole.

Hole 14

Don’t mess with the right. Take a 3 wood and pop it to the middle of the fairway. Too far left and you are also dead. From there, either a long iron and a hybrid into the green should set you up for par or bogey.

Hole 15

You should be able to score. A 3 wood on this very short par 4 should leave you with a wedge to a downhill green. Take a club shorter, because anything long here is dead. You should par this or better.

Hole 16

Take advantage of the easiest par 3. A 9 iron or 8 iron should get you on the green – two putt for PAR!

Hole 17

We call this Tun’s hole, because you can see our Prime Minister’s house next to the green. It’s also a tough par 4. You absolutely need a good drive to the left, as right is dead. From there, a long iron or a hybrid should get you on the green…you might opt to play short to avoid the bunkers, but go for conservativism here. Bogey is a very good score.

Hole 18

The Top Glove hole because we always aim for the Top Glove sign. NEVER challenge the left! You think you can cut the dogleg but it’s hard because the OB eats into the hole on the left which we cannot see. We always think we make it but we never make it. So aim right and whack it. You probably want to set yourself up for a 3 on here and two putt for bogey.

So on the back 9, you should hopefully get 6 bogeys and 3 pars for a fairly good score of 41 because this nine is a par 35. A score of 41-44 is 85 which is a very good score for a hacker!