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Rich people say the darndest things

Of course, the big story this week was Stevie Williams shooting off his HUGE gap again. I’m beginning to seriously dislike this guy, not because he keeps tramping off Tiger, but because he’s an idiot. Who happens to be really rich.I mean who in their right barnacles would actually say this:

“”It was my aim to shove it up that black arse—”

Concerning why he celebrated so much with Adam Scott won the Bridgestone Invitational.

I mean, seriously?

He later went on to say: “I now realize how my comments could be construed as racist. However, I assure you that was not my intent.”

Race is an obvious issue, even among normal Saturday golfers. We’re still very careful not to cross the divide by racial slurs. Not strangely, when our own race slurs ourselves, it doesn’t appear as racist, because we’re that race. But when the other groups slur us, we get all flustered up. And trust me, even in golf, there are plenty of innuendos out there that I’m sure gilagolfers know about…and it’s all done in fun. That doesn’t make us racists, it just makes us ignorant buffoons who stereotype alot on the golf course….and sometimes, even with close friends of different races, we sometimes cross that divide, but with the understanding that it’s all in fun.

But Steve Williams? Man, he takes the cake. You can see the vengeance he has against Tiger, who paid him 10 Million USD over his career with him. I mean, why must he use the word ‘black’? Doesn’t he realise the only people who can use colour to describe something is people of that colour? The only conclusion is that either he’s a genuine IDIOT, or he’s been paid a lot to drum up the tension for the president’s cup to hike up the ratings for a Tiger vs Adam Scott showdown. Poor Adam scott. If he wasn’t so filthy rich, I would have pitied him.

Anyway, here’s the top 5 racist meltdowns in sports:

1. John Terry

He apparently called Anton Ferdinand a Black C**t. It’s not proven, so it might be or might not…but, I mean here we go again, why on EARTH must he add that colour description in there? Has he been heading too many footballs and his brain has been finally reduced to rubble? John Terry, because of his recent affair with is best mate’s wife, is probably not the greatest guy to be around, so with his spotted history, he’s likely to spin off some racist remark as well. Verdict: Guilty.

2. Luis Suarez

He also apparently used the N-word against Patrice Evra. 10 times. Despite his skill, Luis Suarez is definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. You can see him: a naughty kid who skipped school to play football and peek into girls’ toilets. He probably thought the N-word was just a normal description of an ‘annoying person’ in English, and probably called his little brother that in Uruguay. So he kinda deserves a break. Verdict: Not Guilty for racism, guilty for absolute brainlessness. But he doesn’t need brains. Just skill.

3. Shaquille O’Neal

Shaq, when asked if he had anything to say to Yao Ming, who was first coming into the league as the no 1 overall pick, said: Tell Yao Ming: Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-so. Frankly, if you ask me, I think Shaq’s a really funny guy. I think he’s a guy whom if you were to call him the N-word, he’d just laugh and tombstone you and walk off. He’s also like a big kid, and obviously loves watching Bruce Lee Movies, as evidenced by the youtube below. Verdict: Not Guilty for racism, as he genuinely thinks his joke is funny. And as a chinese, I think it’s quite funny. Although, not many people think so.

4. The Country of Spain

While many think Spain is a beautiful country (and it is) and the home of beautitful football, it’s also considered as the unofficial racism capital of the world. Thierry Henry was referred to as black sh*t by the Spanish coach. And during a full page report, the entire basketball team made this picture before going to Beijing:

Spain’s Olympic Basketball Team

I mean, this is just dumb. As in achingly, mind-numbingly DUMB. It’s like giving a heil hitler salute before going to a German Olympics. Or painting yourself black before going to South Africa World Cup. Verdict: Guilty of Racism. And of paramount stupidity that is beyond belief.

5. Kris Jenner

I know this is not a sporting personality, but she’s rich. She’s the mum of Kim Kardashian, who apparently got married and divorced in 70+ days. When asked if the ex-husband would ask back the engagement ring, she said:” No, I hate an Indian Giver, a gift is a gift.” No 1: An engagement ring is NOT a gift…it’s a symbol of commitment. If her daughter wants to break off the marriage, then give back the ring, darn it! It costs 2 Million bucks! And an ‘Indian Giver’ is an actual slur to Native Americans. It was crafted by European settlers when the natives would give them things to barter (since they had no money concept). The settlers thought they were gift, so when they did not exchange anything, the natives took the ‘gifts’ back. Early Settlers were apparently as dumb as the Spanish basketball team.

I just thought this was a little funny, because I remember this episode from Seinfield: Sit back and enjoy!

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Is Golf Back in the Stone Age?

Quite possibly.

Golf is undergoing an amazing transformation, or regression, from a game that many people are picking up and appealing to the newer generation back to the prissy gentlemen game with as much character as a piece of styrofoam ball. The ones you put in bean bags.

In fact, I don’t even know who won the stupid Fedex cup until just now when I googled it. 10 million. Apparently it went down the wire for Hunter Mahan, one of our Golf Boyz, but he choked (again) and a guy by the name of Bill Haas took the Fedex cup.

One. Big. Yawn.

I really hate to say it, and I might be the only one who feels this: but isn’t golf becoming more and more dreary to watch? Now, the world no 1 is Luke Donald. Nothing against that guy, but FOR SAKES, THIS GUY HAS NOT EVEN WON A FREAKING MAJOR!!! Vs a guy with 14 majors and like 97 professional wins? He even has a wiki dedicated to his wins.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_career_achievements_by_Tiger_Woods

Before anyone shoots me again for being a rabid Tiger fan, here’s the thing: I love the game. You can see it from the way I write; and though my scores continually suck, I continually play the game….and frankly, without Tiger in the mix, it is just a torture to watch golf tournaments. In fact, I prefer watching the LPGA these days.

So until the President’s cup (or the Australian tournament with Tiger in it), and until the stupid NBA sort itself out, we’re left with only Football (and for some the rugby world cup, which is as confusing to me as reading Sanskrit):

1) Liverpool’s resurgence

I am not a pure Liverpool fan…I am by default since I am a Juventus fan, and serie A games are shown less, or either very early in the morning (AC vs Juve at 2 am!!). Liverpool just beat Everton 2-0, but seriously, they were quite crap until Gerrard came in. Gerrard is like 3 million times better than the next best Liverpudlian, who is probably Suarez, or Kenny Dalglish when he plays. But somehow they are still winning, but doubt they can challenge the Manchester teams and Chelsea.

2) Juve is top of the table. This has not happened since the Romans crossed the Rubicon. Savor it Juventini!

3) Messi

Anyone watching football has to be crazy to not like this fler. He’s scoring goals like playstation and it’s totally amazing to watch him….and he’s tiny! The question people ask is what if he played in England, with defenders who prefer to hack him down than to watch? It’s a debate that Ronaldo is actually a better player because he can excel in any league, where as Messi is Messi because he’s in the Spanish League. Anyway, who cares. He’s crazy good.

4) Tevez

Is he that good that he’s worth all the hoopla around him? I prefer Kun Aguero. BTW, I’m always a bit amazed at how they allow him to have his nickname on the back of his shirt. He’s named Kun because he resembles the character Kum Kum, which was his favourite tv series as a kid. (They have Japanese Anime in Argentina!)

Um, which part? Black hair, black eyes? Or just because he has his hands behind his head?

Man, some days, I wish Tiger would just come back and give us something more to write.

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A letter to Samsung: SAMSUNG SUCKS

Wordle: Samsung sucks

Note: In response to my email, Samsung immediately responded and waived the maintenance fee and bumped my fridge up from a ‘couple of days’ to ‘fixed immediately’ with spare parts. It shows two things;

1) Samsung has the right culture to know when they messed up and now did what they can to rectify it, and to improve customer experience. It takes a big company to say, “Look, we messed up, here’s what we can do to fix it.” Of course, if they have thrown in a galaxy tab as well, I’d be a crazy Samsung fan for the rest of my life, as of now, I’m not so pissed off anymore and at least I have back my beloved fridge so I can eat my ice-cream.

2) There is power in the pen. Learning how to write strong complain letters is one way to fight back against perceived injustice…but it takes a good company who appreciates customers to respond to it, and Samsung is one of it. Examples of HORRIBLE companies who treat their customers a little lower than cat-shit because they think we’re cheapskates who suck: Malaysian Airlines, AirAsia, Fireflyz. Basically, Malaysian companies. No wonder we’re stuck in third world service, with first world infra…..

**END NOTE**

Dear Samsung,
My samsung RT72SBSM fridge stopped working after only about 2 years. It took Samsung 4 days to get back to us on support, and now we need to wait for another 5-6 days before it can be fixed. According to the support personnel, you have no ‘spare parts’. Please note, most of my meat is spoilt and my kitchen has been turned upside down due to this incident.

I am writing in an official complaint to the lady dealing my case on 21 September 2011, at 7:43 pm call, in Selangor, Malaysia. When queried as to why after 2 years the fridge is broken, and overall costing me more than RM350 to fix it, she retorted, “I don’t know what our lifetime of our fridges are.” in a highly rude and condescending manner.We do not appreciate that because of Samsung, our meat and food are SPOILT, our house has no fridge for 10+ days.

Samsung SHOULD know the lifetime of their fridges, and if it cannot even last 2 years, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR PRODUCT! You cannot release your accountability to make good products by retorting to customers, “We don’t know what our lifetime of fridges are.” This is an ignorant and completely unprofessional way to respond to a customer, demonstrating the lack of training Samsung support has in terms of customer dealing. I am shocked as such laissez-faire attitude and hope that somehow, samsung can find ways to improve their product support, starting with hiring and training correct people to do the job.

I am terribly disappointed with the fridge, and I am sorry to add that I shall NEVER purchase a SAMSUNG product in my life, and I will likewise recommend everyone to not buy anything branded SAMSUNG.

Your abject product is compounded with shockingly irresponsible support personnel on the ground.I would rather recommend people to go ahead and have their throats ripped off by a pack of hungry Rottweilers than to use anything that sounds remotely like this HORRENDOUS brand. Samsung, please do not make anymore household appliances because you clearly have no idea what you are doing and it’s plain to see even my pet Terrier has more brains than all your R&D staff combined in your sorry piece of crap company.

* Note, the last paragraph was not included in the actual letter to Samsung.

** To other Gilagolfers, sorry, just a rant. Need to put up Anti-Samsung for the search engines! Remember, Samsung sucks! Now, back to GOLF!

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Golf more addictive than Cocaine


Or so many of us who have never taken cocaine would think.

It has been debated for years, since the inception of this peculiar game of chopping down acres of pristine forests and beautiful woodlands to make a course where the only purpose is to put a ball in a hole using a stick. In the medieval times, the king of Scotland banned the game because archers were skipping practice to defend themselves against England, to play this wretched game. It has become so prevalent and despised by non-golfers that the term ‘golf widow’ has been incorporated into the Oxford dictionary.

In the history of sports, two games stand above the rest: Football (I mean the real Football, not the American kind) evokes passion. Golf evokes addiction. The difference between golf and football is simple. Football is a spectator sport. 99% of those jokers you hear talking about their Liverpools, Juventus, Manchester Uniteds and what-not like they are the club’s ambassadors–they don’t PLAY football. Or they can’t. Due to their retarded kicking ability, or their asthmatic disposition or just the fact that their leg-eye coordination resembles an African gibbon trying to hump a black mamba. I’m including myself in those categories, so please don’t get too upset. If you are crazy about the premier league, chances are you play football as well as I do: on the playstation. And that too against my terrier, who can’t hold the gamepad and who is constantly concerned with his bollocks.

Golf is another matter. The whole problem with golf is that it’s not a spectator sport at all. And that’s why I think it’s a huge mistake to include golf into the 2016 Olympics. I mean, it’s such a BORING sport to watch, seriously. Except for Tiger, no one else is worth our time, and you’re better off growing petunias in the backyard to pass time. Golf is a player sport. I.e anyone can pick it up. There’s no barriers to entry at all. There used to be, such as expensive green fees and expensive golf clubs. Anyone that uses those excuses are obviously anti-golf activitists who deserves to be strung up at the 100 meter marker at your driving range. Golf is getting cheaper and cheaper, and with that, everyone, from your asthmatic cousin to the African gibbon humping a black mamba, can pick it up. They might still suck at it, but they know they are probably in the majority of golfers out there, who whiff, duff, top, dig their way to a 120 score.

And golf is a lot more addictive. Non-golfers will never see it because it’s not something that hooks you in by the passion or by the watching, like football. It’s by the playing. It’s like the proverbial skeptic, criticising golf while whiffing, digging and duffing his 7-iron on the range, and suddenly hits a pure shot and is immediately hooked because of two simple words: I CAN.

The concept of I CAN is the key to golf’s addiction. I know hundreds of articles have been written to explain why golf is so addictive. Business, challenge, competition blah blah blah. But nothing matters more than the I CAN philosophy. This is an all encompassing obsession that is within the human mind since the beginning of time, the promise of possibilities. For beginners shooting 120, they remember that pure 8 iron into the green on a the par 3 to set up their only Birdie amidst a trail of destruction of sextuple bogeys. For intermediate hackers, they recall the miracle 3 wood fade from 200 meters that lands soft onto an elevated index 1 green. For the experts, it could be the snaking 40 foot putt across a contoured green. And they live for those moments. And they come back again and again to get that high: from a birdie putt, a 250 meter drive,a perfect 5-iron, a bunker shot into the hole: the exhiliaration is simply unexplainable. And unlike other sport, it’s available to every lay man who plays golf…fat, thin, short, tall, famous, criminals etc. It is the only sport that has the ability to replace other addictions like coke, alcohol,drugs etc. Ask Alice Cooper. You can learn more about the intricacies of addiction through courses available from online universities.

Wall Street Journal wrote an interesting piece here.

Golf addicts find themselves thinking about the previous game and the next game, they spend hours practicing like zombies on the range. History Channel attributed the golf swing as the closest in form and practice to the ancient samurai swordplay, inbuing muscle memories with moves and the mental state of the swordsman: swinging a sword to lop of the head of your enemy in some ways represent the same mental process as bashing your ball 230m down the fairway with your driver.

We are the future generation of samurais, my friends.

Happy Hacking for what’s left of 2011!

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Tiger, Captain’s Pick

It’s highly weird that in the future, when introduced to the first tee box, instead of being stated as a multiple major winner and possibly the greatest golfer ever to wield a golf club, that Tiger would be introduced as the ‘2011 President’s cup captain’s pick’ and possibly the most vilified captain’s pick ever, probably based on the not-so-unfounded perception that the Captain can probably play better than Tiger right now.

But why so much hate?

ESPN writers write so much crap, because they are sports writers. One of their guys wrote:

“What has Woods done in the game lately? You (Fred Couples) tell us in your announcement that Tiger almost won the Masters in April. April? That’s practically another decade in golf.” – Farrell Evans

Farrell Evans

Hah? What you mean, Mr Farrell Evans? Don’t know how to count ah? Besides looking a little like Eddie Murphy’s not so funny doppleganger, he has other great insights to Tiger such as:

“Still, Tiger has to take some of the blame for your decision. He should have said he’s not fit to play. He should have said there are more deserving players who rank ahead of him. He could have said, “Fred, I’m 28th and why should I take a place on the team? Let somebody else have a chance.””

What about saying: Fred, add ALL THESE CLOWN’S Major wins and they won’t even come close to my total. I have single handedly moved Golf from the stoneage where idiots like these guys play for USD1,000 to million dollar paychecks. Without me, Golf will rank slightly lower in popularity than curling. And that’s curling hair, not even that game where people mop floors. We’d have GilaCurling instead of GilaGolf.

How on earth would Eddie Murphy think that Tiger is going to say, “Let somebody else have a chance?”.

“Tiger is no Lou Gehrig. He’s just a selfish player who is getting something for doing nothing. I want him to explain that to the kids at his Tiger Woods Learning Center and the kids from The First Tee, an organization his fame helped to inspire.”

He’ll explain this, Eddie Murphy Doppleganger: “Kids, people like you if you’re good. Like me. So be excellent and you can relax for the rest of your lives because you own the media and guys like President Cup captains. End of story.”

A lot of people don’t think Tiger should be on the team, but face it, this is the President’s Cup. It ain’t the World Cup. It comes every two years. And alternately, there’s the Ryder Cup, so actually, you have EVERY SINGLE YEAR either President or Ryder cup, so what’s the big deal? I don’t mean to demean these events like Rory, but you know, the World Cup defines a player’s career once every four years. At most, every footballer has 3 World Cups in his life if he is lucky, and good. After every World Cup, fortunes changes, from great gems like Ronaldinho to extremely crap players like Haji Diouf. That’s why there’s so much passion in the World Cup, from the players who needs the careers and the officials who need all the bribe money.

As much as I love Golf, I’d be drunk on weed and durians at the same time if I were to compare Ryder/President’s Cup to the World Cup. It’s not. Golfers are defined by majors because this is an individual sport, not a team sport. So guys like Eddie Murphy Twin who thinks President’s cup is a clear watershed of a golfer’s career, they are probably high on weed and drunk on durian juice.

+ +  Farrell Evans

President’s cup is for entertainment. An Exhibition aimed to bring about the most money and interest in golf so golf individuals get more exposure, so events get more money and everyone gets paid more. Rory was right, even if he was eventually crucified by it. He was just stating history, because The Ryder Cup does come from the fact that exhibiton matches had been played and this was just a progression of it.

So, who is the most marketable golfer right now? Go for him. No matter if he’s playing like a epileptic baboon at the moment, the world needs him. Economy needs him. The Golf industry needs him. I mean, can you imagine the buzz if Tiger ends up playing with Adam Scott? That storyline in itself is enough for Fred to make the decision. It’s a blockbuster, Avatar-Like moment for Golf. Right now, Tiger’s golf studs is probably more marketable than most of the dudes on the President’s Cup team. Really. Stricker, Kuchar, Watney, Simpson, Bill Haas. Really? Who’s scared of these guys?

vs

The only wish I have is that Fowler gets selected aside from Tiger. He cracked me up in the Golf Boyz Video with Bubba, Mahan and the super funny Ben Crane.

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GilaStats now in BETA! Part 1

I’ve added the GilaStats link in the main menu, and it’s a new feature for Gilagolf readers. I got quite a number on queries on the golfcard and statistic program I use, and I thought, why not, just integrate it with this blog and give an option for everyone to put in their scores. This is still in BETA testing for now, so do let me know if there are any bugs or questions encountered.

Please fill in the form below to get the started:

Name/Nickname:

Email:

GilaStats Details:

This is a free program that I developed a long while back, and it’s pretty easy to use. You basically need to just track 3 things: Drive distance (for only fairway hits), Gross Score, Putts on each hole.

Then there are a few ways to get the scores into the system, either manually, or simply sending a pic of the scorecard to the system. All instructions are on the site, if any question, just email me at gilagolf78@gmail.com.

GilaStats features include:

1) Game Ranking

Ranking your game in 8 main statistics (there are many more substats!) and allocating you a status ranging from MASTER all the way down to CRAP.

2) Community Ranking

Allows you to see within your community/tour/group how you measure up to the guys you play with every week. Beat them in the eight main statistics for bragging rights, and send them to CRAP rank! (Or, get out of CRAP rank yourself)

3) Ranking Points

Total Ranking points based on games played, entirely customisable on how points are allocated. Right now, I give more points to people who have birdies and eagles. We can tweak this to reward more points to average score or fairway hits, for instance.

4) Head to Head Challenge

A Head to head comparison to see who is really better, instead of the often used hacker style: “Aiya, that guy sure better mah, he drive so long. Give stroke!”

5) All Games, All ScoreCards

Every game is tracked, historical records of your scores, and trending on improvement

6) Golf Course Statistics

Golf course overview of all courses played!

Every course you play on has stats, and how well you generally play. You got easy holes and you’ve got your bogey holes.

Hole by Hole Analysis over the course that you’ve played on.

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Ramadan Golf Promotions

UPDATE: Managed to get some vouchers for A Famosa Golf Club: RM20 per person for 18 hole green fee! 1 Flight = RM100. I’ve got extra available, so let me know at gilagolf78@gmail.com if you’re interested, just RM20. Terms and Conditions as listed below. VALID UNTIL 31 DECEMBER 2011!

Typical of Malaysian service, there are hidden costs NOT advertised on the voucher. Here’s the breakdown for gilagolfers using this voucher to play in A Famosa Weekdays and Weekends (Gilagolf makes 0 profit on this, I assure you):

1) Weekdays

RM20 for voucher + RM77 for Buggy, Insurance and 1 Caddie = RM97

Normal Promotion Rate Weekdays: RM135

Savings: RM38.00 per person, RM152 per flight.

2) WeekEnds

RM20 for voucher + RM80 ‘weekend’ surcharge + RM69* for Buggy, Insurance and 1 Caddie = RM169

(*RM98 for buggy twin sharing + insurance, RM40 for caddy per buggy, so RM138 divided by 2 people=RM69)

Normal Promotion Rate Weekends: RM220

Savings: RM51.00 per person, RM204 per flight.

You still get reasonable savings but not as great as the marketing people would have you think. Email me for those interested, I have a bunch left.

@@@NOW ON TO THE RAMADHAN PROMOTIONS!@@@

Gilagolf wishes all our muslim readers and gilagolfers “Selamat Berpuasa” and “Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadan”. I always think it’s a little hypocritical to say that and yet, silently enjoy all the golf promotions and cheap rates we non-muslims get during this month, while my muslim golfing buddies are sidelined…so while this post is going to be a little cruel, I still think it’s pretty amazing for you guys to go through the month without golf. Actually I know one guy who did play golf with me but didn’t drink a drop of water till 7:30 pm…he almost died, I think, but said it was, “Worth it”. True Gilagolfer.

Anyways, for the benefit of my few readers, here are some of the Ramadan (or is it spelled Ramadhan?) Golf Promotions and Packages that I know of, in some of Malaysia’s Golf courses. Feel Free to add in your own or update!

Happy Hacking!

Glenmarie

RM105 – Weekdays

Verdict: Glenmarie doesn’t score well on Gilagolf mainly due to the awful discriminative service we experienced there. But maybe there’s a new crop of people there! And at RM105, it’s a GO!

Staffield

RM85 – Morning(Weekday)

RM88 – Afternoon (Weekday)

RM130 – Morning (Weekend)

RM133 – Afternoon (Weekend)

Verdict: Go For it! It’s Staffield! Weekend rates are a little steep. These fees are not inclusive of Caddies, which in my opinion suck in Staffield. Also, don’t mention a thing about their lousy service. But for Golf only: GO weekdays!

KGSAAS

RM110 with Ramadhan Buffet (Weekdays)

Verdict: It’s pretty worth it to play weekdays (weekends shoots up to 210++). And I think there’s night golfing as well, no? Maybe Go.

Impian Golf

Weekday 730 – 830 – RM98. After 830 – RM145

Weekday Afternoon – RM115

Weekend 830-915 – RM140

Weekend Afternoon RM155

Sunday Afternoon – RM90

Verdict: Sunday afternoon has always been a good price, and weekday rates are great too…but beware of hidden costs, like crap caddies. Maybe Go.

Bangi Golf

All the same price except we get RM30 food voucher. Hmm. No big deal. The Sunday promo RM100 still remains, but might as well play somewhere else for Ramadhan. NO GO.

KRPM

Weekday Monday and Tuesday – RM70 (morning)

Wed and Thurs – RM119 (morning)

Verdict: Not that great since one of the championship nines are closed Monday and Tuesday for maintenance. NO GO.

Seri Selangor

Weekdays – RM75

Weekend (Saturday Wholeday, Sunday Morning) – RM40 per person (need full flight)

I was right, too good to be true. Weekend, SS has come up with some convoluted pricing structure that’s not worth your time to figure out. It’s about RM130++ per person.

Verdict: I might be hearing it wrong but RM40 is ridiculously cheap for Saturday morning but that was what I was told. GO! (Only weekdays)

KGPA

Monday – RM60

Tuesday to Friday – RM70

Weekends Saturday – RM110 Morning, RM60 Afternoon

Weekends Sunday- RM110 Morning, RM70 Afternoon

Verdict: Great promotion here. GO!

Perangsang Golf

Weekdays – RM49

Weekends – RM90 (Sat and Sunday)

Verdict: Weekdays is very cheap. Weekends, you can probably search for better courses out there. GO! (weekdays)

Kajang Hill Golf

RM412 for weekdays (No Promotion)

Verdict: RM103 per person is the normal weekday price. I called up the club and asked for any promotion and was slammed with an emphatic NO! from a very rude lady. Kajang Hill is always what it is, a very mediocre golf course pretending to be a good one. Nice service too for cutt-throats. Kajang Hill sucks. NO GO!

Kinrara

Monday:RM65

Other Weekdays: RM75

Weekend: RM135 (morning), RM90 (Afternoon)

Verdict: All promotions come with a RM15 food voucher, so basically you’re paying RM15 less for the golf, which is great. GO!

Nilai Springs

Weekday – RM68

Weekend – RM150 (Morning), RM110 (Afternoon)

Verdict: Nilai is pretty nice but the weekend rates aren’t that good. Weekdays is ok, so it’s a GO!

Monterez Golf

Weekday – RM57

Weekend – RM96 (Morning) , RM60 (afternoon)

Verdict: Very nice promotion for a narrow course. The Sunday afternoons are especially attractive. It’s a GO!

Awana Golf

Weekday – RM64

Weekends – RM137.50

Verdict: Great Weekday pricing. Weekends are so so. Call to book and make sure course is not being maintained though. GO! (Weekdays)

Beringin Golf

Weekday – RM35

Weekends – RM80 (Morning), RM60 (Afternoon)

Verdict: Beringin has always been attractive in terms of pricing. The only problem is that the journey there feels like going to the centre of the earth. But when all else fails, Beringin is a GO! (for cheapskates like me)

Beruntung Golf

I just thought of putting the mother of all crap course Bukit Beruntung here. Apparently Beruntung feels that doing promotion is unnecessary due to its amazing prestige as the upper echelon of the Mother of all Crap golf course. So no Promo, weekday is RM70, weekend is RM100 as usual. I have to say NO GO, because you ain’t seen crap till you see Beruntung.

Tasik Puteri Golf

Weekday – RM63 (Morning), RM83 (Afternoon)

Weekend – RM113 (Morning), RM88 (12:30 – 1:30), RM103 (After 1:30)

Verdict: Good pricing for Weekdays and a small window of an hour on weekend afternoons that it goes for RM88. I don’t know why. But, by all means, GO!

Danau Golf

Weekday – RM58

Weekends – RM120

Verdict: Danau is a university course that is average or sub-average. With promo price of RM58, it’s probably quite worth it, but RM120 for weekends? That’s stupid. Forget it. Go!(Weekdays)

Templer Park

Weekdays: RM109.20

Weekends: Expensive

Verdict: I somehow think that with the Top Premier voucher, Templer is so much cheaper, and 109 on Weekday even with Promotion is too pricey to pay. I’m cheapskate, so it depends on you. Maybe Go.

Bukit Tinggi Golf (Berjaya Hills)

Weekdays: RM68

Weekends: RM98

Verdict: Bukit Tinggi has always been somewhat of a nightmare to us when we play there, but the promotions are actually pretty attractive. Plus, the weather there is cool! GO!

That’s all I know of. Gilagolfers, if you know of any ramadhan promotions in Malaysia Golf Courses, let me know!

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Caddie-Gate and The World of Ingrates

I just thought, on the eve of the final major of 2011, on the eve of the final event where Tiger needs to get it done or go home for the season: that there are so many more compelling storylines than the one that’s hogging the show right now. Not to say the least about the lousy economy or the bashing the stock market has taken over the weeks; we’ll focus solely on golf.

Golf. That’s right. When has it become the circus that it is?

They call it Caddie-Gate. They call out Tiger for being a lousy employer. They bring to attention Tiger who has not changed, who is still the arrogant prick before and after the hydrant incident in November 2009. So he fired his Caddie. The caddie who has been ‘loyal’ to him all these years, his best friend, his old buddy, his wing man. What kind of sick, mentally challenged idiot would do that? What’s wrong with you, Tiger?

Here’s what’s wrong. Nothing.

Steve Williams showed the world who the real villain was in his post round interview after winning in Firestone with Adam Scott (that is such an ironic story line), saying that the win was the best week he had in life. Are you serious?

What about winning all the majors with Tiger?

What about getting married (well, he divorced but he wouldn’t have known that when he got married, right?)

Or just for sakes, how about saying the charitable foundation he started out for underprivileged kids as the best week of your life?

Steve Williams earned in excess of $10 Million during his time with Tiger. For carrying a bag. And throwing cameras and photographers into the lake. I mean, seriously, $10 Million USD? And he’s pissed off with the guy that helped made him that? He was caddying for Raymond Floyd before this gig with Tiger…he would be making probably US40,000 over the same period of years.

Steve was sacked by Greg Norman too in his prime. Greg went on to win 12 more PGA tour events including the Open championship over 8 years. It was believed Steve got ‘too close’ to Greg. Read: He was probably giving too many opinions to Greg and scolding him for fluffing the chip shot etc, like what the KGNS caddies do to us. I mean, who’d like playing with a clown like that?

I have a feeling that Steve Williams could have been grumbling too much with Tiger, as Tiger recuperated and got well. I mean, so he hasn’t won in 2 years. You’ve got USD10 Million for your troubles and you blast him over the media like he owes you something? Seriously. Steve is a great caddy. But that’s all there is. He ain’t the guy swinging the club. Tiger is.

And Tiger has given him there was, and if there’s a time for change, then take it and move on. I mean, it’s not as if Tiger didn’t pay him or whatever. WHO CARES if it’s an SMS or face to face etc? What sort of planet of emotional metrosexual idiots are we now living in? Why does Steve thinks he’s entitled to some privilege from Tiger? Is it because he got replaced by a caddy who resembles Snow White, without the puffy shoulder pads and laced skirts, and 7 strange old men looking at her sleeping?

In the perfect world, Tiger would have just replied: “Steve, I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the millions that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “Thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a 7-iron, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!”

Ah, Colonel Nathan Jessep, everyone’s favourite character.

img_fewgoodmen.jpg

In conclusion: Tiger took the higher road. He didn’t blast Steve over the media. In fact, he even said he texted Steve after Adam Scott won, and congratulated him. Even if he DID NOT do it, the fact that he said it, it’s like pulling out 4 wisdom teeth at once for Tiger. With a rusted plier. But Tiger did it, because he was grateful for Steve’s service over the years. Unfortunately, Steve, the ingrate, is just interested in pulling down his golden goose. Tiger made the right choice. With a character like Steve Williams, who is so used to winning and only interested in winning: during a time of rehab, Tiger needs a change. Less expectations. Less loud mouthed opinions. He needs to find his zen again before killing everyone in the course like he used to do.

I hope it starts this week.

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Who Wins in the Major?

Now that the British Open is over, and the unlikeliest champion has emerged, we’ll all wind down the year and have a look at it. Wait, there’s still the PGA Championship and Fedex Cup. Meh. We all know that the last major, with flukes like Shaun Micheel, Rich Beem and YE Yang, isn’t as prestigious as the other 3. And Fedex cup? Please. Gimmicky.

Darren Clarke of Northern Ireland smokes a cigarette during the final round of the British Open golf championship at Royal St George's in Sandwich

So, the cigaratte chomping (curious, isn’t a cigaratte consider an outside help?) Daren Clarke wins, and I’ll leave to other better writers to talk about the glory of Northern Ireland majors, the odds, the story surrounding Sunday’s win, and the humiliating hacking nonsense conjured up by Phil Mickleson, Dustin Johnson and all the other clowns chasing Daren. It wasn’t so much that Daren won it, but the other fellas lost it. Missing a two footer. Check, Mickleson. Shanking into OB at a critical hole. Check, Dustin. Pulling into weeds and losing grip of club. Check, Anthony Kim. Whacking into the spectator stands. Check, Mickleson. What, again?? What’s wrong with you, tubby??

Phil Mickelson Phil Mickelson of the United States misses a birdie putt on the eighth green during the final round of The 140th Open Championship at Royal St George's on July 17, 2011 in Sandwich, England.

Now, what has this got to do with Tiger? Everything. Since our old friend left the game in shambles, we’ve got all these bunch of pretenders stepping up the plate and taking what they can. It’s like a pack of hyenas, after the lion has finished his fill of the dead elephant and wanders off to sleep, they come and gorge on the remains and take all they can before the old lion comes back and chase them all out.

Without Tiger, majors have seen first time winners piling up. Daren. Rory. Charles. Martin. Louis. Graeme. 6 consecutive first timers, and NOT. ONE. AMERICAN. Face it, for the viewers, supporting the underdog only makes sense if there is a top dog. We ALL want to have a top dog. There’s a culture of heroes in humanity. Hercules. Achilles. The naked guy in 300. Julius Caesar. Douglas MacArthur. Joan of Arc. King Arthur. Hang Tuah. Or, looking at sport heroes: Muhammad Ali. Michael Jordan. Maradona. The one person that stands above the rest, that says, “Don’t eat my elephant until I’m finished, you pack of hyenas!”

Tiger Woods, love him or hate him, is one of them. He is the Top Dog. He’s the Alpha Male. And he doesn’t like to share.

Once the Top Dog goes, you’ve got these hyenas going for the majors and the number 1 in the world. Luke Donald aka Justin Timberlake Lookalike. What a joke. A world number 1 CAN’T make the CUT??!! Lee Westwood, another joke. Martin Kaymer? He can’t draw the ball. Rory? We like him, but too streaky, just like a hacker.

Martin Kaymer and Lee Westwood - Singles Matches-2010 Ryder Cup

The real winners are all the PGA players, because since Tiger left, their chances have improved like 5000% to win a major. Also, the sport writers, because now they have more stories to write about, aside from the normal “Tiger Wins.” or the Horrendously overused, “Tiger out of the Woods” or “Tiger in the Woods”. Recently they have gotten a little creative thanks to his liaisons with pornstars, and have cheeky titles like “Tiger getting Woody” or “Tiger shows his Wood”. But still, over used. Now, with these new batch of hyenas, writers can be more creative with their headlines, such as:

If Rory wins: “Ror-ring victory”

If Daren wins: “Clarke of the Devil”

If Sergio wins: “Serg-ing to victory”…and my favorite:

If Thomas Bjorn wins: “To Infinity and Bjorn!”

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Battle of the Seoul Sisters

I’m watching the LPGA US Women’s Open and two Korean girls just finished tied on top, heading into playoffs. I’m usually not very fascinated with the ladies game, but after watching these two players, So Yeon Ryu and Seo Hee-Kyung, I am pretty much positive that they are twins separated at birth. I mean, I am an Asian, so I generally won’t think that we all resemble Vietnamese like some of my American friends think we do. The only people I can’t tell the difference are Singaporeans and Malaysians.

Koreans? Sure, I can probably differentiate most of them, but when it comes to these two, I’m pretty much bewildered at how similar they look. Except that Ryu seems to have slightly bigger eyes, but maybe because Seo keeps grinning in every shot. Either way, I’ve decided to support Seo, simply because I like her Polo Ralph Lauren outfit. It’s nice. I might get one for my wife. And frankly I think Seo dresses a lot better.

Ok, Seo vs Ryu. Check it out yourself.

Seo Hee Kyung

Hee-Kyung Seo Hee Kyung Seo of South Korea hits her tee shot on the seventh hole during the second round of the Kia Classic Presented by J Golf at La Costa Resort and Spa on March 26, 2010 in Carlsbad, California.

Hee-Kyung Seo - U.S. Women's Open - Final Round

Hee-Kyung Seo - U.S. Women's Open - Final Round

Hee-Kyung Seo - U.S. Women's Open - Round Three

Hee-Kyung Seo - Ricoh Women's British Open - Round Two

So Yeon Ryu

So-Yeon Ryu - Kraft Nabisco Championship - Round Two

So-Yeon Ryu - U.S. Women's Open - Final Round

So-Yeon Ryu - U.S. Women's Open - Final Round

So-Yeon Ryu - U.S. Women's Open - Round Three

So-Yeon Ryu - 2010 ANZ Ladies Masters - Day 2

Note: Wow, Ryu just Shoryuken-ed Seo in the playoffs with Birdie-Birdie on 16 and 17.

Rats, Seo, you lost, but you still have a great Polo outfit!! And you speak better English. But your eyes are still smaller because you’re always grinning.

Congratz to Ryu with a Birdie-Birdie-Birdie finish. With a name like this, sure can win any one on one matchup, until you meet a China Golfer called Chun-Li.