The Case for and against Australia migration Part Two

Without much ado in comparing Australia and Malaysia and to either bust or confirm the myth that Australia is a dreamworld that all Malaysians born aspire to run off to, here’s a breakdown of the Quality of Life Index published by the EU. Before anyone crucifies me, though, do note that this is written in Gilagolf typical fashion – absolutely no research, and the opinions are generally very myopic, and should be consumed only for fun.

Material living conditions (income, consumption and material conditions)
Productive or main activity
Health
Education
Leisure and social interactions
Economic and physical safety
Governance and basic rights
Natural and living environment
Overall experience of life

I obviously got this list from the website and I am too lazy to click and read the actual definitions, so I’ll just interpret it on my own.

Material living conditions (income, consumption and material conditions)

This speaks for itself. I am thinking this is like how much people earn, and if good jobs are there etc.

Now I am not comparing Malaysians vs Australians. Note that I am comparing Malaysians vs Malaysians-who-are-first-generation-imigrants-to-Australia, the same way my grandfather was comparing his life after he was dumped by his father from the boat to Malaysia, with the China he just fled from. Which had a lot of killings, I assume.

Anyway, the myth in Australia is this: Malaysians who go to Australia will strike it rich and they all go and start a Mamak shop or chinese restaurant and live happily ever after.

The honest truth is that, except for a small handful, most Malaysians going to Australia are going to find it tough to land a job. A chief marketing officer I know headed there with his family and after 8 months, had to become a water bottle sales man door to door. A training director I know is now working as a secretary to a dentist. A high flying lawyer left the high life here and is now selling ice-cream. I know a guy who had a very good pay at pharma line and is now a year into migration and without a job. He is thinking of being a tram driver, but no, I will bet they won’t have anybody doing public service without prior work experience in Australia. Or another guy who used to own his own restaurant here, he is now a contract insurance agent. I mean, the expectations need to be tempered down significantly. As my friend who went over there would say, “Yes, training is good business in Malaysia, and probably can be here in Australia. But in Malaysia, would you want to be trained in corporate strategy by a Bangladeshi worker?” Not that we have anything against Bangladeshis, but honestly, that’s probably how immigrants are perceived over in Oz. No offence.

So you see, you might think Australia is X3 now to the ringgit. But you must also realise, your income will be likely around 30% of what you are getting now. So if you get 20K per month here, you will be lucky to earn 6K AUD. And after the tax and all, you will surprise at how many cornflakes meals (they are cheap in OZ!) you will be having at home.

So Quality of life in this aspect is very much biased in their advertisement of Australia. Now, of course for your kids, they have a better shot at jobs than you. But we are comparing immigrants to Malaysians who prefer to stay in Malaysia, remember.

Score: Malaysia 1 – 0 Australia

Productive or main activity

No idea what is this about. I will just imagine how productive your life is in terms of job satisfaction etc.

Now, EVERYONE swears that they would love a life with a 9 – 5 sort of schedule. They have no idea what another way of working is.

Australia is blessed with a workforce who are not greedy. Really. Their profit is not monetary. It’s TIME. They prefer to knock off earlier and not make the extra buck or deal. I had a colleague who instead of opting to meet me to discuss possible deal scenarios at 4.30 pm in Gold Coast, said, “Sorry, mate, the surf is up, I gotta go!”. It was 3 pm. What?

It’s a great life – for Australians. But wait, what about immigrants? Many of us will fail to adapt to this nonsensical lifestyle of going to work on time and leaving work on time. In fact, many of us modern tech guys will fail miserably at doing anything on a 9 – 5 schedule. The 9 – 5 schedule was created during the industrial revolution, when workers needed to be in the factory line at certain time or stuff doesn’t get done. This stupid idea had been carried on by equally stupid employers in this electronic age thinking this is the way to do things. Many years from now, our kids will be studying this 9 – 5 concept and linking it back to how humans generally began to exhibit similar intelligence to that of a wombat. We all have our own internal clock to get things done.

For Malaysians – more and more people are preferring, not flexi-time, or 9-5 time, they are preferring integrated worklife. That means, you are IN CHARGE of your work. Read the book “Why work sucks and How to fix it” by Cali Ressler and you will get this point. Integrated worklife means, if I have to send my kids or pick them up from school, I do it. I don’t take ‘leave’ or crap shoot because it takes me a few hours, and I am integrating it to my worklife. I am contactable, I am closing deals, I am managing my meetings. Same thing if I want to go shopping with my son for his christmas gift on a slow afternoon. I care about results, and the happier I am with my family and my own time, the more I would want to get the results needed, to keep that happiness.

Immigrants might find this concept a lot harder to accept in Australia. Australia might give Australians this flexibility, but can you imagine you, at the bottom of the food chain, telling your boss, sorry, bro, gotta pick up my daughter now, and will work from home. Call me-lah if anything, ok?!

Score: Malaysia 2 – 0 Australia

Health

I assume this is healthcare. Not health in general. If health in general, I think it’s hard to say. You would think australians are a lot healthier, but you know, it’s touch and go right. The air in Malaysia sucks big time. But the pollen in Australia literally gets me sick all the time. The food in Malaysia is oily, but Australia’s fish and chips isn’t the healthiest either. The general cleanliness in Malaysia is horrible, but ok – in Australia, you get skin cancer faster (note to golfers).

But healthcare. OK – some say Australia has completely free healthcare for immigrants. Um, no. But Medicare still rocks. You get the best public healthcare probably in the world and your medicine is also subsidised (not free). Compared to Malaysia where we can opt for government hospital which are cheap and the chance of you dying in the queue is around 95% since it takes a few weeks for you to get your turn. In some cases, babies had been delivered while the mother is at the waiting room, and other cases, these babies had grown up and graduated as well by the time the counter person called the number of the mother. The second option for Malaysia is private. Private hospitals are all run by companies run by persons who actually would rather watch their own mother die than to provide free healthcare. Private hospitals in Malaysia are notorious in overcharging patients for any small detail and their main motto is to extricate every ounce of money from you before you kick the bucket, which you likely will, mostly after seeing the bill. In fact, it is a known fact that the vending machines there only accept RM50 bills or bigger, else you useless, poor and money-less patients don’t get your Maggi in a cup. Damn, someone has gotta foot the bills of those Maggis!!

So for sure, Australia, hands down is way better. And this alone tips the scale for 99% of the immigrants. I mean, Australia doesn’t discriminate much whether you are an immigrant or not.

Score: Malaysia 2 – 1 Australia

Education

Unfortunately for Malaysia, our so called education has descended to the standards of how gebrils were educated in the middle ages to gnaw away at human remains in the Tower of London. That is to say, the education system in Malaysia is often used as a punchline in jokes, and equated to a bucket of sh*t, festering in a cesspool of sh*t, which happens to also be located in a quagmire of sh*t. Our minister of education can probably string a few words together to describe his day in English, but has been known to simply mutter incomprehensibly in another language of how useless English is in this world and that only the people from the isles of England speaks it. When asked to explain, he defended his statement by declaring in broken English, “Why don’t people complain that we do not teach American language, Australian language also? Or even Canadian language, or New Zealand language? Ha?! Why only English? This is obvious way to Anglicise our children!” When corrected that these were all English speaking nations, he chastised the reporter, “I heard of New Zealand language, please. I watched a documentary, where the teacher with the white beard and pointy hat was talking to those beautiful, long haired, pointy ears students with bow and arrows. Pfft.”

I don’t even need to compare the ridiculously and enchantingly free education for PR or citizens in Australia. In Malaysia, we have to paid bucket loads of money for private or ‘international’ education.

Score: Malaysia 2 – 2 Australia

OK – halftime. Not bad, at least we are tied!

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