The Return of the King

Tiger Woods

Very quickly, name me the guy who won this year’s Buick Invitational.

Nobody cares. That’s the point, and I’ll be honest here: Golf is a really really boring game to watch. I’m serious. You see a guy hit a ball and then it either cuts to a commercial break or it just kinda follows other non-interesting people out there. It’s really annoying, because nobody wants to watch a guy called Tim Clark beat the crap out of the best player in the world. If I were Tim Clark, I’ll demand a trillion dollars from the networks and take a fall in the game with this guy called Tiger.

This week, Mr Woods tee up again in his ‘real’ tournament, i.e a stroke play tournament. How much have we missed this fellow?

Imagine the number of golf telecast I have watched since Tiger left the show in the US Open.

Two.

That’s the British Open and PGA Championship. Was that fun? Sure, a little, everyone likes Padraig Harrington. But it wasn’t extremely interesting. I have watched a grand total of 0 telecasts this year, and I didn’t even cared when PGA season started or not. Sure, we’re having guys like Anthony Kim, Villegas and some young fellows out there, but again: WHO CARES? These are sideshow bobs. These are non entities in the grand scheme of things. They are interesting to watch, but again, in all honesty, watching golf is a sucky experience without the King. I’d rather turn the channel to RTM1 and watch a joget competition or jump around the bed in my undies.

So, he’s back. Now we can watch Golf again. Now we can witness the superhuman heroics again. Now we can see how he can beat the crap out of Anthony Kim, Villegas and all the other clowns who play this game.

And here’s the most ridiculous piece I’ve read so far:

Garcia has a shot at No. 1

Sergio Garcia is probably the most hated guy in the world of golf. I don’t know why. It’s unexplainable. He’s apparently number 2 in the world and according to the article, he can be number 1 if he wins and Tiger finishes 27th or worse — or something. I’m not a huge Tiger fan (isn’t that obvious by now??) but if Sergio ever becomes number one, I’m going to take out my R5 driver and start smashing my TV set. Garcia is crap….and one of the reason why Anthony Kim has been a favourite was the way he smacked that Spaniard butt back in Ryder Cup (oh yeah, I watched a bit of the Ryder Cup but fell asleep halfway, then turn to RTM1 to catch up on my Joget show.)

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