Welcome to the year of the Monkeys!

Gilagolf would like to take this time to wish all patient readers of this blog: Happy Chinese New Year and may your irons always be true and straight and your driver never stray from the path of righteousness.

As you know, I am in a sort of a downtime (although I did manage to squeeze in a reasonable round in Glenmarie recently. After starting with an awesome Triple-Double-Double, I managed to crawl home with a respectable 94 despite carrying a bad slice. I didn’t play too badly. The points were all lost in the short game typically:-chunked chips, skulled pitches, overhit puts … things that you generally have after laying off 6 weeks of golf.

The reason why we chose Glenmarie was due to the recent wipeout of the Asian team in the Eurasia cup. If you have watched the cringe worthy trashing, it was like watching Barcelona first eleven playing 100% against Setapak High School for 90 minutes. It was just a total thrashing. It was like me playing 18 holes against my 1 month old baby, who cannot even lift his head. It was like Mike Tyson going 5 rounds against a caterpillar, and I mean the animal, not the construction brand. Which begs the question:

Why did Danny Chia call out ‘Ian Who?’ the day before his singles against Ian Poulter?

For those of you who does not know, this is a tongue and cheek reference to the “Tiger Who” reference that Vijay Singh’s caddie wrote on the back of his cap during the 2000 President’s cup. Tiger got so incensed that he didn’t concede any putt more than 18 inches and won 2&1. The caddie and Vijay obviously thought it was funny, but at the same time, it was a mental game they wanted to play with Tiger.

Now you need to understand the circumstances.

Vijay was a top 10 player in year 2000. Tiger was number 1 and had won 9 tournaments. Vijay however got the Masters that season so they were probably toe to toe in terms of their capability. Vijay knew he needed a bit of push to derail Tiger a little, unfortunately, it backfired and Tiger got pumped up and dispatched the big Fijian. But it was a calculated move. Vijay knew if they were just to play normal, he would probably be routed out of the park. But a fired up Tiger might go both ways – his drives might wander and then who knows? Tiger made almost 10 million that year, Vijay had around 2 million earnings and they were great, great players.

Let’s refocus back on WTF was Danny Chia thinking. Now, I love to support Malaysians as well as the other guy, but the problem with Malaysians I feel is that we don’t think before we open our big mouth. Look at our politicians for God’s sakes. That Ahmad Maslan guy is like an accident waiting to happen everytime he opens his mouth – demonstrating how god awful his intelligence is hovering somewhere between a plankton and a jellyfish. It also demonstrates the eventual degradation that our brains are having and evidence of the de-evolution of human kind. His statements are not just an insult to Malaysians all over, but it’s an insult to mankind as a whole. Or recently (since Maslan has been sacked in his post recently), our wonderful AG (attorney general), making all sorts of STUPID statements. I mean, it’s just STUPID. Why would he say things like: “When someone donates 2.6 Billion to our Prime Minister, why does anyone care?” Umm. WTF is wrong with you, man? If I knew that my wife was paid 1 million dollars by a handsome prince for some service she did for him, you’d think I would say, why should I care? Dude, if our PM is becoming another country’s b*tch, we definitely have the right to give a damn or do you NOT feel that piece of meat poking you in your a$$? Jeez.

Now I am generally neutral to politics in this blog, but I cannot stay neutral to STUPIDITY. And this is STUPIDITY in the highest order. This AG, like that Maslan guy, is an absolute horror show, and if Aliens took samples on human intelligence, they would exterminate us all immediately and start from scratch with bacteria, that probably has more potential of intelligence than us. I just get so worked up when I think about these guys because it’s like having them insult our human race over and over and over. ARGH.

Anyway, back to Danny Chia vs  Ian Poulter.

He wasn’t as bad as our two Malaysians examples above. But the question is why would he say “Ian Who” to the press before the singles game? Why, for the love of God, would you do such a thing, knowing that Ian Poulter is actually a murderer in disguise when he comes to playing singles.

Danny Chia is ranked 256.

Ian Poulter is ranked 55. There is a massive 101 steps between them.

Danny was thinking, hell, I am ranked higher than Tiger Woods now, you know so don’t play play. Let me go and poke this Ang Moh a little in the butt and maybe he will scurry away to the nearest toilet in fear. I am Danny Chiah wor. Malaysian top player of the year, man!

Ian Poulter walked all over poor Danny. It was a car wreck. It was like having a tabby cat being bowled over by an Elephant. It was like Barcelona first 11 playing 100% against my son’s class – which is kindergarten 3 to 4 years old. There was no reason whatsoever why Danny would need to say that. None. All he had to do was to not say things and go out and play like a crazy monkey to beat Ian Poulter. Not to fire up Poulter. Poulter is like, Jeez, this is a total insult to my skill to play these jokers. I’m going to just use a halfset and tee off with my putter just to even things up.

At one hole, and this was when I turned off from watching the tournament – the camera was on Ian Poulter’s distinguished gait walking after a great shot to stick it near the hole. It then panned to a slumped Danny Chia taking a smoke. Yes, taking a smoke. I am not sure whether I’ve seen any PGA player doing that – but it just shows the gap of professionalism between the two players. PGA players CAN smoke, but they don’t, mainly because their sponsors pressure them and they earn tons. Asian players probably have lesser pressure from their sponsors, since instead of Rolex sponsoring them, they generally get sponsored by Roleks (sic). Instead of Nike, they get sponsored by Bata, and instead of Mercedes, they get sponsored by Proton Iswara. But c’mon, it’s just a turnoff, you know to show how different the class of golf is among the two players.

Don’t get me wrong, Danny played really well the first few days, and if it wasn’t for his partner’s 1 foot putt miss, they might have won one game. I was totally supporting him, and it’s just disappointing that he would think it’s a good idea to call out Ian the day before. It just shows, like the two examples of humans above, that we are truly in the year of the Monkey now.

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