Greatest disappointments of The Open 2012

Well it’s down to 18 more holes and surprise, Tiger is up to fourth position. I thought for sure when he messed up the two par 5s on Friday, especially the second one, that he would spiral down into crap land that he has always done before. But birdie 16th and hole out birdie from sand on 18th? Classic Tiger.

Today? You have no idea, but about 13 billion people plus from the alien planet that Tiger comes from were hoping against hope that the final putt on the 18th green, a relatively easy 15 footer, left to right uphill would go in. If it did, he would be -7 and in all probability, book a final slot with Adam Scott. It’s not so much with Adam Scott, who has a personality of a wombat, but a matchup against his fiery caddy, a Steve Williams who famously called his ex-employer who gave him more than 10 million USD during their time together, a black asshole.

As it is, Mr Woods purposely missed it, and we lost a cracking shot at possibly the greatest final round ever in a major.

Anyway, aside from that, which is listed number 1 disappointment in the Open this year, here is the second largest disappointment of this year:

Moe, Larry and Curly, or more accurately, the world number 1 -3.

Moe, Larry and Curly represents the 3 clowns that are currently above Tiger Woods in the world ranking. Here’s they are:

These 3 jokers are a constant embarassment to the game. They truly suck, yet annoyingly, they are playing placeholders for world number 1 ranking. We’ve never seen such weak world number 1 -3 in the entire history of the sport, eversince they disallowed chimps to compete in the open back in 1741.

Luke Donald is officially the worst world number 1 ever. Ever. Yet again he proves he will NEVER win a major, and they should actually just tranquilise him now in every major he will play from here on. Despite yakking about his ability and his promise, the fact remains is this: He suck as a world number 1. He has no personality and he looks like Luke Skywalker…and like Luke Skywalker, who plays second fiddle to Han Solo, Luke Donald will never be able to match up to golf’s black Han Solo, who is now world number 4. He is Tied 14. 10 STROKES back.

Rory? After today’s astounding 73, he says he lost faith in his swing. He’s probably swinging better with his tennis girlfriend. Everyone’s saying his 19th holes are costing him his game, and they might be right. Too many nights with that girl, Carol Wozniakiskoncheskykanchelkiskovicaabdulmaniamchong. Whatever her name is. Rory is gone. He’s gone the way of Sergio. He’s tied 54. 15 strokes away. He will play well tomorrow. He always plays well when there’s no pressure.

Lee Westwood? Less said about fatty the better. He is also tied 54, 15 strokes away.

The reason why I am so pissed is this: Golf needs winners and champions. You put these 3 yiddling europeans up there, and you get a sterile piece of crap heaped on top of this game. They are astoundingly wicked and cruel to the game of golf, simply because they not only suck, but they have absolutely no drive or personality. Remember when we had the big 4? Tiger, Phil, Ernie and Vijay. Remember when Vijay would smack down Tiger, Tiger would smack Phil and Ernie would be like Federer, always being neutral, but internally hates Tiger because he gets all the porn stars? Albeit old porn stars that look like prunes? Remember?

Golf needs what tennis has. A top 3 that can win majors. A top 3 that’s always up there, whacking and smacking each other in the head. A top 3 that can contend. That’s why we love Tennis now, because Fed, Rafa and Djokovic can really belt in, and their personalities are so interesting, and so conflicting against each other.

Damn, I miss Vijay and his smack talk. VEEJ, get back to form, man!!

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