Rain + Seri Selangor = Absolutely Astoundingly Crap

It’s rare that we do a re-review of a course, but after today’s frustrations at Seri Selangor, here’s the affirmation: Put Seri Selangor in the AAC category if there’s a heavy downpour. Some courses handle downpours magnificently, note Tiara Melaka and to some extent, grudgingly, Rahman Putra. Some handle it not so well but are improving, notably Kinrara and all the work they have been doing in the drainage, and also Perangsang.

Seri Selangor? With a maintenance budget as tight as leotards on Queen Latifah, don’t expect too much to be done. Today, heavy downpour in the morning literally turned the 18th hole par 5 into a river. The embankment overflowed and all the rubbish flowed down into the fairway. We teed off about 1 and a half hour late for our 20 flight tournament, and entered into a course that was neither playable nor fit for anyone except for people who enjoy being perpetually constipated.

I.e Seri Selangor emphatically, most comprehensively SUCK.

And this isn’t because I had a bad game, instead with a shot gun start on the par 5 5th, I played 3 Doubles, 2 Pars and 7 Bogeys before approaching the Par 4 17th. I yanked my tee shot OB after waiting for 15 minutes on the tee, and my second shot was good, smack on the fairway. Maybe a 4 on 2 putt to save double? Fat chance. The whole time our shots have been plugged, but never more than on this hole, when my drive could not be found on the fairway despite 4 flers looking for it, and a caddie to boot. So, took an 8. The fairways were in a sorry condition. Completely atrocious drainage. The bunkers were ALL swimming pools. ALL. It’s absolutely incredible how lousy Seri Selangor maintenance is. With the saving grace being the greens, the rest of the course was so terrible that after 13 holes, i called it quits and headed back…partly also due to the long wait times due to a bunch of lady golfers who think the tournament is Augusta masters and spending 10 minutes each to read the darn greens. Aiyo Auntie, just putt la…no difference la how long you read…our skill level generally means we suck anyway.

Seri Selangor, being a combat course and a ‘homeless’ golfer course, will always have an excuse to be lousy in its drainage maintenance, and will always be able to justify…but I think as golfers who pay money to play on course, some standards need to be met. If Perangsang and Kinrara can improve, why not Seri Selangor. Stop the excuses and start improving, before we cangkul your fairways into smithereens.

Anyway to conclude this rant, 3 Most Annoying things in the world:

1. When you hit a good drive, and the stupid course punishes you for it just because they do not have the basic ability or budget to have good drainage.

2. Aunties who thinks and putts like they are in Augusta Masters, and takes a few years to finish 18 holes.

3. Racist History Channel doing shows about Malaysia, and have subtitles when interviewing Malaysians speaking perfectly comprehensible English, yet, in the next show, when interviewing people from Africa and worse, Ireland, as they speak in a gibberish slang that sounds like Middle Earth Ancient Elven Tongue, they refuse to put any subtitles, because these are ‘Western’ Civilisation.

I don’t know how 3) got there, but it’s one of those things that really annoys me. I can really relate to how this guy feels:

Enjoy!

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