Tackling Glenmarie Valley

So Tiger screwed up at the Ryder cup. Big deal. He has already come back from the dead and won the penultimate tournament against 30 of the best players in the world. He doesn’t have anything to prove now, but to shut down for the season and wait for the next. Will be a fun season next year!

This week, we went over to Glenmarie, and wanted to play the Valley. We paid everything and was on the way there, but the caddy kept telling us to go to Gardens. We said, heck no, we want valley. So on the way there, he stopped a marshal and the marshal said, “Oh! MANY FLIGHTS at the Valley!! ALL JAM UP!! Go GARDENS LAH!”

I found it very strange that they were so pushy on this, and based on our experience of the marshals and caddies in Glemarie (they are utter rubbish), I told my group, well, no harm to go and check. So we did.

Guess what?

Empty.

Glenmarie – if you want to push traffic over to Garden for whatever nonsensical reason, just be upfront and not resort to lying about it. The stupid marshal sheepishly drove back to us to ask for our payment chit and then drove off. So, not a good start.

Glenmarie after thunderstorm the previous night wasn’t great. Valley especially had very bad fairways and the greens weren’t much to shout at. I guess in some ways, they knew Valley wasn’t up to par in terms of maintenance and wanted to minimise foot traffic there. We don’t know, we don’t care.

Hole 1: It is a very difficult hole to start, especially in the morning. This requires a drive over the water, with hazard on the right. I hit my drive left, but it came down to rest at the rough next to the buggy track. From there, I was around 150-160 away and I took my 6-iron (mistake) and just drove a low ball to the greenside bunker. Or so I thought. It nestled into the dreaded rough behind the bunker, leaving me with the terrible flop shot over bunker to begin with. On cue, I nicely flopped my ball into the bunker. Out in 4, 2 putt for a poor double bogey to start. (+2).

  1. Chip (-1)

Hole 2: The valley opens up to easier holes after the opening. This easy par 5 has long been a favourite of mine but again, I pulled my shot left and found myself under the trees. I lofted my 9-iron out but it was at the edge of these annoying bushes, where I couldn’t play a full shot. So I choked down my 9-iron from around 120m and punched it to the front. Opting to putt (good choice), I then sank in a 4 – 5 footer for a par. Good! (+2)

Hole 3: A great hole. For all the shitty maintenance on the valley, the setup is really nice, and that’s why we like it. From the tee you have a good view of the hole, and a wide fairway guarded by bunkers. I whacked my tee shot finally, a good one – to right behind the bunker and had around 100m. I lofted my sand wedge on the green, routine two putt for par. Very Good! (+2)

Hole 4: A Par 3, around 145m. The caddy told me 140m because of the red pin, but it was uphill. So I was between a 9-iron or 8-iron. I chose poorly. My 9-iron never had a chance to reach the green, leaving me with a chip (which I clunked), and then a sheepish putt to put on and bogeyed. What a waste of Escalation. (+3)

2. Chip (-2)

Hole 5: I dread this one and the other one (17), because they have two similar tee offs: trees on the right next to tee box and no-man’s land on the left in the trees. Because I hook/draw so much, I had to set up right at the edge of the tee box, and aim at the right trees to draw it back. This retarded set up served me no favours as I boomeranged the ball right to left into the jungle. From there, a punch out was lucky as it hit the cart path. Then I had a downhill shot into a green which you CANNOT AFFORD to go long. So, from almost 140m, I played a pitching wedge to the front of the green. Again, my chip was horrendous, as I chunked it on, but too far away. Two putted for a bogey. (+4)

3. Chip (-3)

Hole 6: Frustrated over the constant missed chances, I hammered my drive on this index 3 Par 4 and only had, I think an easy nine iron from the left rough. I did set up to aim a little right to compensate the rough catching and turning; but Glenmarie rough (I learnt later) works differently. It doesn’t catch. And my ball happily flew to the rough on the right of the green. OK, this bloody chip better work. Yes, this time, there was contact and it wasn’t a CHUNK but there was too much juice and it skittered way beyond the hole. Two putt back for bogey. (+5)

4. Chip (-4)

Hole 7: This is a very nice hole, where it bends right and falls into the water. From the tee, I just hit a 5-iron right down the fairway and had around 140m to a slightly uphill green. Because anything short funnels down the water, most players like yours truly go longer, to compensate for any duffed shot. Instead of a 9-iron which I think I can hit, I used an 8-iron and hit a super crisp shot that flew right to the back of the bloody green. Again, chipping. And again, a bad chip ended up around 15 feet from the hole. So stupid. Two putt, BOGEY. (+6)

5. Chip (-5)

Hole 8: This is the monster par 3 (Most par 3s in Glenmarie are difficult, on Valley, except for the first one.) This one needs around 180 to hit the green. Instead of opting my trusty 5 iron I decided to use my stupid untrustworthy hybrid (the only time I am using it today). It hooked into the trees on the left. Luckily it was in a clearing, but unluckily it was buried deep. I could only chop it out to the other side of the green and from there a poor chip came up short, two putted for double. I think the chip here can’t be blamed so much, it was more of the tee-off. (+8)

6. Hybrid(-1)

Hole 9: What an ending hole to the 9. This is why we like Valley. This one is a bomber’s favourite, where the elevated tee box can see the entire hill on this hole. And bombed it I did. This was even a better drive than the one I pulled off at 6. This was so long, it left me contemplating a 52 or sandwedge into an uphill green with a back pin. I opted a 52 Gap, and landed me around 15 feet from the hole. I missed my birdie but tapped in for par. (+8)

At this point, a +8 isn’t so bad. But it’s very frustrating to know that I could have easily been 2- 3 shots better if not for my stupid chip. Hole 4 and 5 were gimme chips. While the rest, OK, if I could just be better on the back 9.

Hole 10: Hammered the drive down the fairway again, leaving me with what I assumed was an easy pitching wedge from 130m to the front pin. It landed slightly short, but very puttable. For some unknown retarded reason, I over-putted and missed the come back par putt of around 5 feet. WHY?! STUPID, UNNECESSARY BOGEY LAH! (+9)

7. Putt (-1)

Hole 11: For once my drive failed me and swung me into the trees on the left. This hole is dangerous because of the water behind the green. I punched out my 8-iron, then hit my third shot to somewhere on the right of the green and two putted for a listless bogey. My opponent in the other sixer has stuffed his 2nd shot to 1 feet of the hole. (+10)

8. Drive (-1)

Hole 12: This is such a tough par 3. It is listed as 205m and all of us have our 5-wood or 3-wood out. One guy had a driver. I hit a great, non-hooked, straight up bad ass 5-wood that perched nicely on the green. From there, it was still a tough putt across a few mountains in the green, but managed to navigate it for a two putt par. Yay! (+10)

Hole 13: Another tough tough par 4 for a hooker, due to all the trouble on the left. Hole 5, Hole 13 and Hole 17 – these are the hated trio of Glenmarie. But unlike Hole 5, this time I managed to hit a straight shot but hung up on the right. Still fine. Little on the rough. My second shot was supposedly an easy 8-iron to a downhill green. Instead, I semi-shanked, whiffed it and for once, I saw my ball slice to the right. Still ok, except … yup, chipping. By now, my chipping stance was resembling a gorilla attempting to thread a needle through a quilt. And once more, nothing. Duffed the damn ball. From the fringe, slammed my fourth shot chip over the hole and meandered a two putt for a double bogey. Again, it’s so unnecessary. This time, I blame my irons, my chip. (+12)

9. Irons (-1)

Chip (-6)

Hole 14: Scampering away from that hole we are in one of the most scenic holes on the course, the island par 5. Uphill tee off with a 5-wood took me to the fairway, an easy 8-iron left me around 120m and from there an easy pitching wedge to the green, around 20 feet away for safety, and a routine two putt for par. If ever I had a perfect hole on how to play golf, this would be it. (+12)

Hole 15: The water par 3 which everyone hates. I have to admit, mostly I chicken out. I aimed my 7-iron way right away from the hole and it landed chipping distance from the green. I did not duff my chip but I overpowered it and it went to the other side of the hole. From there, two putted for bogey (+13). The guy who stuffed his birdie with an iron to within 2 feet earlier? He bombed his birdie putt from 40 feet away this time. Luckily he is now partnering me!

Hole 16: This is a nice looking hole but all the slicers hate the large body of water on the right. For me, I just bombed the drive to the left, and from the fairway, pushed my pitching wedge slightly to the right. Thankfully it held on to the edge of the green and from there, it was just a two putt par. (+13)

Hole 17: Ah, the last of the terrible three. This time, I managed to avoid the trees on the right and hit it so long that it was around 140m to the green. Mind you this is a 380m par 4. Because of the severe downhill and the punishment of water for over hit approach, I opted for a chicken pitching wedge which got me to the green but very far away, around 40 feet or so. I don’t know why, but I rammed my first putt way past and still had 8 feet to putt back up the hill to save par. Nope. Three putted for bogey. (+14)

Putt (-2)

Hole 18: The final par 5 hole is a fitting end, although not as grand as the front 9 end hole. I bludgeoned this one right down the fairway. From there, i carved out my 5 wood but it landed into the final fairway bunker, around 50 meters from the green. This meant with two shots, I covered around 430m of real estate. Not to say anything but I am really loving my driver right now. And hating my chips. However, my bunker out was poor and from there, I hit a half hearted, chip/flop (I don’t know anymore how to describe these) to the center of the green and two putted (almost sank the par putt) for an ending bogey. (+15).

So if you look at it, technically, my putts weren’t that bad. Of course, it could have saved me two strokes on 17th and 10th, but otherwise it behaved. Not great but not bad. Driver was on almost the whole game, except for hole 1 and 2. Irons were reasonably great, except for the few times it got tricked by the rough — scoring 87 on Valley where it could have easily been 3- 4 strokes better is a very good day for me.

What about the Chips? Chipping is like the employee in the whole company that does shit and drags everyone down. Driver, gone to work, yeah. Putter, you ok, meeting numbers? Ok, no problem, keep it up. Irons, you guys working ok—no issue, ok? Chipping?

Chipping?

Chipping, WTF are you doing in the bloody pantry eating donuts while the others are out busting their ass for the company?!?!