The year was 2004.
Davis Love the III, one of the most promising golfer of his generation was once again set to be castrated. Had he been born in another era, perhaps his wins would have been more than 20, with only 1 major to show for. The fact is, if it hadn’t been for Tiger busting every single tournament in the late 90s, he might have gone on to win more majors. He would be like Phil Mickleson, or Ernie Els. Instead, because of Tiger, he is relegated to a has been. He was never as popular as Phil, with his constantly anal face and perpetual frown. He was never as good as Tiger. He never had a swing like Ernie. And he wasn’t cool like David Duval. Instead, he was Davis Love the 3rd, the only guy on tour with a number to end his name.
He has never won a WGC event. In 2004, it was his first final and he came up with the guy he hated most, Tiger Woods. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t stand the fact that so many people followed Tiger around. Or that he turned golf into a rockstar event. Or that he has brought popularity of golf to the ghettos, and now his uppity country club is filled with dot-com billionaires who don’t know a shit about golf etiquette. No, Davis Love was pure, traditional, golf…only for white guys, and no ladies, that’s what golf is supposed to be.
So started that Davis Love III was going to kick Tiger butt back to school and teach him where his proper place should be in golf. He went up early, winning the first hole. They traded blow for blow but by the time the first 18 was done, Davis Love was 1 up, winning 6 holes, losing 5 and squaring the next. He felt this was his time.
He ate some chicken over lunch, and that was it.
He came out and didn’t win anymore holes after that, at one point, got so pissed off with one of the spectators that he actually stepped out to confront that guy. Come on, Love. Be a man.
Since losing 3 and 2 that fine summer day in 2004, Love hated Tiger. And now he was Tiger’s boss in Ryder Cup. Revenge is sweet.
Love’s first act was to bench Tiger for the second day, stating he needed “rest”. Seriously? Golf is not exactly a boxing match. Its played by overweight fat guys with cholestrol as high as Lindsay Lohan in her party nights. Rest? Give me a break. Then, he proceeded to pair Tiger up with the greatest loser of all time, Mr Steve Stricker, who should really be beaten up with a stick for failing so miserably to play golf. So he sabotaged Tiger, even if Tiger tried to rally back on the back nine with a flurry of birdies, only for the failure Stricker to miss a relatively easy putt to halve the hole. After the game, Tiger unfriended Stricker from his facebook and texted Furyk: “Can you be my partner again? I can’t stand the sight of this 24 handicaper anymore.”
And now the biggest humiliation ever. Putting Tiger dead last in the singles. With US up 10 – 6, there’s about 0.000001% chance that the deal breaker will come in the last singles. That’s why Olazabal front loaded his team. If you noticed, Love put his big guns in front as well. The prediction is that the 4 points is going to likely come before Peter Hanson and Jason Dufner’s game…i.e US will win 4 of the first 8 games. Hence the last 4 of the matches are just for kicks. In fact, it might be that Tiger doesn’t even finish 9 holes before the Ryder cup is over, and he’s no where near the finish.
Love’s response: “Tiger is more used to teeing up later.” which means, “I don’t give a flying f— about Tiger, because I am going to cold storage that basta*d for castrating me in the 2004 WGC event.”
Oh well, on to a potentially boring final round then.
| Europe | U.S. | Time |
|---|---|---|
| L. Donald | B. Watson | 12:03p |
| I. Poulter | W. Simpson | 12:14p |
| R. McIlroy | K. Bradley | 12:25p |
| J. Rose | P. Mickelson | 12:36p |
| P. Lawrie | B. Snedeker | 12:47p |
| N. Colsaerts | D. Johnson | 12:58p |
| G. McDowell | Z. Johnson | 1:09p |
| S. Garcia | J. Furyk | 1:20p |
| P. Hanson | J. Dufner | 1:31p |
| L. Westwood | M. Kuchar | 1:42p |
| M. Kaymer | S. Stricker | 1:53p |
| F. Molinari | T. Woods | 2:04p |
| — All times ET | ||
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