Oh, What have you done, Rory?

Last year, Rory was just blazing the trail, breaking the record set by Woods on being the youngest for the second majors, by winning the PGA championship in record fashion. He was on top of the world, regularly blasting past Tiger in his drives and playing some incredibly ridiculous shot. As how Tiger had destroyed the dreams of Ernie Els, Phil Mickleson, David Duval and a host of others who would have otherwise been the finest of their generation, Rory looks to be the foil to defeat Tiger’s ambition to overhaul Jack’s record of 18 majors. Nothing looked set to stop Rory.

Except for one little word, that had levelled the playing field: NIKE.

Nike means the goddess of victory. It’s all very well and nice, but every sports person on earth knows that Nike makes the worst products and has the best marketing. They are absolutely horrendous in mostly everything: but when it comes to golf, it takes disaster to the next level. Nike, in other words, suck so bad that it makes professional golfers want to break their club and stab themselves with the sharp end multiple times to numb the stupidity. But Nike has one thing: MONEY. As it does, it regularly throws money at stars, who in turn convinces mortals like us that the Stars knows what they are doing, and we buy more merchandise that are over-priced and utilises child labor in Szechuan.

But Nike levels everyone ¬†and brings great players like Rory and Tiger down to embarassingly normal standards. Don’t expect our sympathy though, because they get paid sh*t load of money. I.e their annual salary is the cumulation of our company’s earnings + our regional earnings + the GDP of all the third world countries combined.

Due to this, Rory missed his cut in the Abu Dhabi. Tiger played better though, but ended up missing the cut due to a mistake made on purpose, it seems, so he can go home early to catch the Super Bowl Conference Finals. I mean, it’s Tiger, how can he make such an idiotic mistake like not knowing how to freaking drop the ball? The only reason is that he has collected his appearance fees and has decided to scram out of there as soon as possible.

Check out these clips and decide for yourself if this year is gonna be an interesting season, as both the best players in the world has decided to use the worst equipment in the world.

You can’t see it due to the crap quality, but I watched it on TV and it’s the exact same shape as my specialist banana hook shot that is designed to go OB. It was horrible. Thank you Nike! You suck!

And in the same tournament, before Tiger decide to commit suicide with his stupid drop, he hit the worst shot of his career, a topped drive that skittered about 100 meters, and not passing the ladies tee box, thus he has to spend the traditional beer or coconut water to approximately 15,000 people watching him that day.

Boy, world number 1 and 2? Nike’s gonna bring you down!!