Ryder Cup – The truth behind the selections

OK, Ryder cup time is almost upon us. Bring out the late night snacks, the drinks, the bets. Ryder Cup golf betting could be big this year, as we prepare for what is the closest in golf to head to head, mano e mano, in your face competition. Face it, golf is awful boring when Tiger is playing more like Tasmanian Tiger, i.e extinct. But the Ryder cup (forget the sissy Presidents Cup) is the penultimate single one to one brawl in golf.

But here’s the honest truth. The Americans are in trouble. Not because Tiger is putting like he’s already got glaucoma, or the fact that Rory for some strange reason had found his mojo and now trashing everyone; it’s because of their selection. Davis Love III really sucks as the captain.

OK, I never liked Davis Love III. He comes across as a spoiled, rich guy who doesn’t know hard work and who was born with a silver spoon stuck firmly in his pouty mouth. He likely is not, but in Gilagolf, we place a lot of importance in looks…and believe that generalisation is the best way to go about life.

Anyway, for those who played their way into the team…great, got no beef against these guys. It’s the selection picks. There are four of them.

1. Jim Furyk

The fist of furyk has long lost its mojo. With a swing resembling an iguana trying to hump a polecat, he might bring some veteran leadership into the team, but face it, with these young punks, he’s going to be blown out of the water. Rating: Poor.

2. Dustin Johnson

We like him. But the fact is that his mental game is KFC’s mash potatoes. He’s just not there. He’s not a closer. 2010 US Open, with 3 up in the final round, he cockily said, “If I keep playing like this, I’ll be hard to beat.” Thank you. The golf jinx is back. He shot 82 and had to hide his big head in a hole. Come on. 82, and you’re still in the team? Jeez. Rating: Disaster.

3. Steve Stricker

Probably the best for captain’s pick. He’s the kind of guy who plays like he’s on life support. He’s so dead boring. Even the camera man has been known to move away from his game to observe ants carrying grains of sand for half hour. Stricker is probably not the best when faced with blustery Europeans, but who else is there? Rating: OK

4. Brandt Snedeker

I just don’t like writing his name. It’s too difficult. Why do you have a ‘t’ at the end of Brand? What purpose does it serve?? likewise, why oh why are you selected?? We need cocky, confident, alpha males in Ryder cup. Seriously. The whole context changes and you can’t depend on normally dependable guys who ‘plays the course’ to succeed. We need guys like Rickie Fowler and Hunter Mahan … young punks playing crazy game and taking stupid risks, and stare at the opponents in the face and go, yeah, I am going to Gangnam style you, man! can you imagine this guy doing gangnam style? You can’t, then ok, forget it.

Who should have been selected?

1. Rickie Fowler – He’s a punk that dresses like an American Ian Poulter, except he’s more colorful

2. Hunter Mahan – come on, I know he chokes, but give him a break. He won twice. Now he’s crying because it’s so hard to watch the Ryder cup, after earning 5 million this year. Yeah right. What about the guy in south india that earns 2 USD peddling stones 5 miles a day? Huh, Mr Mahan??? Ooops, sorry, forgot I was supporting you. Gangnam Style!

3. Ok, I would take Dustin Johnson as well, because he’s so…tall.

4. Stricker. The Empire Stricks back. I think that would have been an excellent headline if US can win the cup due to him.

Bring it on!!